Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

[JustACog]

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

I’ve been a primary teacher since the mid-80s, and I’m bored with the same jibes and responses.
Boring, self-centred people are tedious, whatever they are banging on about, especially if no-one calls them to account for it. They lack awareness of the problem, and OP grumbling to others won’t stop her friend continuing to complain about her job. However, she may quit teaching in the next year, and then she will be moaning about something else that OP will find irritating.

Not all teachers find it hard though. My friend is a secondary school teacher and mentor and loves it. He calls me at the start of each holiday telling me how long he will be free (he tends to use the last part of it to plan lessons though). He doesn't work in the weekends and seldom in the evenings. I don't know what he does differently but he is quite relaxed about his job but still seen as a hard working dependable teacher.

Some teacher are very vocal about their stress in a way that NHS workers aren't. Possibly because you are helping people who are having a very difficult time, so moaning about staying late, not eating all day, not being able to go to the loo (!) is seen as really bad form.

This could be true. I worked at a cancer clinic (not UK) for three years. Talking to cancer patients every day does tend to put things in perspective. I don't think any of us ever moaned about why we had to work hard, we could see it with our own eyes! I even remember a busy time when some of us came in extra at the weekend just to help out a couple of hours, for free.

He doesn't work in the weekends and seldom in the evenings. I don't know what he does differently but he is quite relaxed about his job but still seen as a hard working dependable teacher

Interesting!! What does he teach?

He doesn't work in the weekends and seldom in the evenings. I don't know what he does differently but he is quite relaxed about his job but still seen as a hard working dependable teacher

You don't know what he does but know how he is seen by others.

How does that work?

Crystal ball?

My friend who was very vocal about her teaching job to any poor sod who would listen left teaching and now works in the NHS. Guess what? She bangs on and on about that too!

It's a personality type!!

On the politics thread by far the most vocal poster about the stresses and strains of their job (perfectly justifiably imo) is a doctor.

The only teachers I know who work at the weekends are secondary school teachers who take sports coaching on Saturdays.

My sister and BIL were both teachers and she was constantly complaining about how no one understood how hard it was and how she was still preparing lessons at midnight, whilst he was home from work at 4.30 each day and telling her to chill out. He must have been a good enough teacher because he had class after class of GCSE and A level pupils getting their As and A*s.

I do no work at the weekends if I can help it or in the evenings (I do, however get in to work a full hour and a half before any children enter the building). That does not mean I switch off or that the job is not stressful. It isn't all about marking and planning until the DfE can see that people will keep leaving in their droves. This is a big problem and, to me, one of the major stresses I feel in teaching is this nagging feeling that large numbers of people seem to think teachers are shirkers who couldn't think of anything else to do with their life. it actively upsets me.

isabelle that sounds a fun marriage. I can only imagine how my DH would react if I told him to chill out.

TBH I think she is just that type of person any job she did would be harder than anyone else's and sounds like a glass 1/2 empty person.

isabelle that sounds a fun marriage. I can only imagine how my DH would react if I told him to chill out.

Well, I'd imagine he was fed up listening to her telling him that he had no idea how hard it is to be a teacher, seeing as how he was a teacher too. I'd have told her to give it a rest as well. She's just one of life's martyrs who always insists she has it harder than everyone else. She's retired now and despite having no job and adult children, she still can't do the most basic of things because she is too stressed and too busy.

I don’t understand why the thread has rambled so far off the specific point made in the OP

Well, I think that’s rather obvious now isn’t it? It’s exactly what the OP intended.

echt
I do enjoy the "my friend is a teacher who works 9-3pm, never has any marking and everyone says they're really good at their job" anecdotes.

I would say I have a reasonable work/life balance and enjoy most of my holidays, but still find lots of the "my friend" stories to be far fetched.

Some teacher are very vocal about their stress in a way that NHS workers aren't. Possibly because you are helping people who are having a very difficult time, so moaning about staying late, not eating all day, not being able to go to the loo (!) is seen as really bad form.

How many teachers on MN do you know that start threads to talk about stress vs threads started by others, such as those in the NHS, that teachers turn up to defend, refute, agree?

You can advance search to check if you like.

That isn’t what I said Chloe. Not sure why you are interpreting that way. It’s not a battle, at least shouldn’t be.

Well, I think that’s rather obvious now isn’t it? It’s exactly what the OP intended

And haven’t some of the teachers of MN risen to it in a fantastically militaristic fashion to illustrate the OP’s point rather well?

I’m not unsympathetic to teachers but my god this thread just goes to show how determined some are to make sure that everyone knows how hard done by they are. Pages and pages of demonstrating exactly what the OP was saying, dismissing anyone else’s experiences with detailed explanations exactly why their opinion is irrelevant. It’s aggressive and so narrow minded I’m not surprised people’s backs are put up and you find the general public unreceptive.

Teaching is hard, most of us could not and do not want to do it, you’re screwed over by the government and your management teams - we get it. What exactly do you want people to say? Is anyone else allowed to find their job hard or should no one say anything in the presence of a teacher?

What exactly do you want people to say?

Personally, I’d rather not see daily threads about teachers full stop. Note the word ‘daily’, not no threads at all. Don’t want to hear anything from teachers, don’t start threads about them.

Cornettoninja

Can you please show me one post from a teacher that claims no one else works hard?

Yawn

@Cornettoninja But this 'argument' has been deliberately manufactured. In an AE nurse versus teacher scenario, people pile on and say, nurses are great and teachers are lazy shirkers. While no teacher would argue that nurses are great, why would we not try and defend ourselves? And isn't your description of teachers' comments as 'militaristic' yet another dig? You're right, teachers commenting is feeding the trolls, and we'd probably be better just to ignore the insults thrown at us, but can't you see how hard that is, when you are doing your best in your chosen career? At no point has any teacher on here said nurses don't work very, very hard or that any other job is easier/more difficult. They just object to the constant teacher bashing. And it is constant. I've been on here a long time, and no other profession is denigrated as often and as harshly.

Cornettoninja

Maybe teachers wouldn't respond in such a "militaristic fashion" fashion if people didn't post so much bullshit about what they clearly have little understanding of.

Its basically bullshit bingo that goady fuckers like to leave and posters seem to want to believe.

Downton57
It's always the same on these sorts of threads. A poster manufacturers outrage and misinformation, some teachers correct the misinformation and silly claims, only for people to take it as proof that teachers complain.

I've often found myself thinking it's quite bizarre for some people to care quite so much about a profession they're not working in that they seek to tear it down.

It's always the same on these sorts of threads. A poster manufacturers outrage and misinformation, some teachers correct the misinformation and silly claims, only for people to take it as proof that teachers complain.

Absolutely. Any sort of defence from teachers that we’re not all moaning whinge bags, we don’t just work 9-3, we don’t have gold plated pensions and we only get paid for 195 days of the year, someone replies saying, ‘oh, and there we go-teachers moaning again saying they work harder than everyone else!’

@ChloeDecker, @SmileEachDay, @Downton57, @BoneyBackJefferson - ok if not militaristic what’s the name for a group of teachers? Swarm?

@smileeachday - I’m not trawling through pages (and I did try before giving up!) in an attempt to evidence that reeling off why teaching is so awful is precisely what the OP was saying. It’s implication is dismissive and attempting to shut down the notion that there is a valid point behind an A&E nurse not being in a position to empathise with a teacher who can’t empathise with her position in return.

@downton 57 and @boneybackjefferson I agree that this is a goady thread - troll or not, but I don’t understand why, knowing that’ll it continue to inflame the argument you (the general you not aimed at anyone in particular) you provide exactly what the OP is looking for? I know it’s hard not to pass comment when something presses your buttons but it literally keeps the thread alive and just confirms what people who already believe to be true. It’s not changing the minds of the people you want to think differently or back down.

@chloejefferson that’s completely understandable, of course it is, but what you’re asking people to do is UR. Like it or not people have the right to an opinion on a public service. You wouldn’t expect people to not talk about the NHS, the local council, government etc. It must be hard not to take it personally when people are talking about their own experiences but they’re entitled to do that and it isn’t about you even when they’re the ones lumping you personally into a particular category. Something else has caused that and it’s highly unlikely you had anything to do with it. Be the bigger person I suppose.

In amongst all the guff and BS will be valid complaints and concerns that should be spoken about and addressed.

what’s the name for a group of teachers?

A school.