To not tell anyone about birthday of baby for 2 weeks

[girlanonymous]

Not due until April, but me and DP want to have a week or 2 to ourselves with DC when she's here.

We're planning on not telling anyone until after 2 weeks that's she's here.

Has anyone done this?

8 pages and she’s not come back folks....

Sorry been at work and haven't been on this since I posted. 2 weeks is a bit ambitious. We're obviously going to tell our parents about the birth, but want to make it clear that for the first few days up to a week we want it to be just us.

Issues I've had before is trying to keep the pregnancy a bit on the hush side due to being high risk and will be induced this time round. Which after telling one person news spread and everyone seemed to know which really bothered me as I wasn't ready to tell anyone. DP has 2 weeks paternity leave so we want first week to be just us.

This will be 2nd DC.

I'm incredibly proud of my child and I was the very moment she was born. I'm also proud of being a mother. I don't think anyone should take that away from me. It doesn't mean I've done anything exceptional or that those who sadly can't have children should be anything like ashamed??

I'm not trying to take anything away from anyone. Tbh, women dealing with unwanted childlessness have to deal over and over again with having the life they envisaged taken away from them, and when I can see, for example, my parents being far prouder of another family member simply for getting pregnant than they were of me for achieving a qualification which had taken several years' hard slog, that rankles somewhat and is probably why that word touches a nerve.

I personally think there's two different contexts in which you can use the word proud. I think it has two slightly different meanings.

Yes, perhaps you're right there.

I don't think you should need to do this you should just be able to tell
People you don't want to see them for the first week. However if you have another child you may feel differently and may need help looking after them.

Also parents and family live far far away from us. So it's not like they will be round to visit right away.

Are you going to hide in the house for 2 weeks? Won't you want to go out for a walk or to the shops or something?

I think people on here have the idea that I'm going to keep the baby completely hidden. Obviously when I go out and someone sees me that's fine and I'll say yes I had the baby. We're just not going to go out our way to text and call everyone to let them know. Just mum and dad, his mum and dad and then ask them to give us time.

I haven't had the best time this pregnancy and been on edge a lot.

One of my happiest memories of DS1's birth is the look on my mums face when she saw him through the window as she came to the door the eve after he'd been born. It was a perfect moment of absolute love and I wouldn't trade that memory for anything. Don't lose those first memories...

I think a baby is a good thing and that they deserve to have their births announced. I know realistically that they don't care but for me it's part of welcoming a child to the world. Can you not just announce the birth but add, 'We are taking the first week to get to know our newest family member- no visitors please'?

Do you not have close friends that will want to see you?

I think it all sounds very sad.

It's a fucking bonkers idea.

UnaCorda not everything is about you!

I was a bit funny about visitors with my first , I look back now and think what a dick Im pregnant again and this time round I know I'll be begging people to come round and won't be shy in taking up any help that's offered as I turned it all away last time trying to be super mum. I'll probably be begging MIL to move in for a week before I'm even home from hospital lol.

Ignore the awful grammar

If one of my children said they didn't want me to see my newborn grandchild for a week or two weeks I'd be very, very hurt and incredibly disappointed.

Fair enough keeping large numbers of people away but I think close family would be really hurt and actually it's lovely seeing them meet the baby. As pp have said I wanted to show off baby.

It brings out a horrible feeling (in me). I’ve realised that I automatically start thinking ‘I’m not interested in what you’re up to’ when usually a new baby would bring out kind feelings and wishes. Seems like a shame but do what you have to do. I’m sure a lot of people will have moved on by the time you announce it and you won’t have to worry about any attention.

I must admit I find it hard to believe because I was so unbelievably grateful that people not only wanted to see me and my baby but also went to the trouble to buy presents and wrap them and go to all that trouble. So we’re totally different characters!

I think YABU. Yes people want to see the baby but EQUALLY they will want to know that you have delivered safely. A colleague didn't announce to us for a while and I had this horrible feeling something might be wrong, baby or no baby. Just tell people.

This is a mil thread, isn’t it?

Ermm.
Read your thread title again, OP.

I'm glad that you're backtracking, of course. But own it at least.

By that stage family and friends will be checking on daily.
I swore I wasn't going to tell family when I was in labour, I knew DM would worry, within an hour I wanted DP to call her.
Just tell people you want time to settle in.

Even Baby Jesus had visitors.....

I totally get the desire for privacy in what is a really traumatic and stressful and painful time but unless your happy with outright lying to people then I would stick with baby is here, no visitors for 2 weeks please.

I think if someone in my family had their baby and went off the radar for 2 weeks I would probably worry they were not coping or depressed and would make more of an effort to be there, I'd much rather be told she's arrived and is a healthy weight and mums doing well but... please give us some bonding time.
Some people might not realise you haven't told ANYONE and just think you didn't want THEM to know.
Ultimately it's your decision but she has a family of people to love her who naturally can't wait to meet her so I'd think of them too and talk to them about how you feel about this.

I think the midwives say this a lot now (mine told me to lock the doors and ask people to leave food at the doorstep-I’ve had a baby, I’m not Jesus!) By day 3, I was ready to murder my husband, wanted some fresh air and just wanted a chat. I’d have taken any visitor at that point! At a few weeks old, I was off to the baby groups. Utterly pointless as he slept the whole time but I just needed to get out.