To not tell anyone about birthday of baby for 2 weeks

[girlanonymous]

Not due until April, but me and DP want to have a week or 2 to ourselves with DC when she's here.

We're planning on not telling anyone until after 2 weeks that's she's here.

Has anyone done this?

Another thread where the OP posts something ridiculous then never comes back!

Asking the obvious..... But will people not see you? I'm sure your family would be very hurt if Mary down the road told her she bumped into you and your baby.

Depends if there’s some massive drip feed about an abusive family etc.

Do what you want, but don’t expect no repercussions. In a loving family this would be considered very hurtful.

I believe Canada is lovely at this time of year.....

It's a fantastic idea, it gives you and your new family a great opportunity to get to know each other and into a routine.
Plus you will be incredibly sore and your body will have gone through a huge change, socialising and entertaining people will not be top of your agenda.
I think there was a post similar to this about a year ago, although I don't know anyone personally.
With regards to ensuring your privacy, you may want to consider not sharing your due date, perhaps say the season but not the month.
Alternatively, go abroad maybe?

I think it sounds blissful. Yanbu.

I think that is sad and mean. Tell very close family when they can visit by all means but a new baby joins a family hopefully and meeting a new baby , if you are lucky enough to have family and friends who are intetested, is a lovely moment to treasure. Obviously if you dont like these people then stick with the hermit plan.

if your family are all nasty sods, then yes, good idea.

Precious and ridiculous imho. Are you going to sit in the house with the curtains closed for 2 weeks and not answer the phone? Its quite fair enough to say you don't want visitors at the hospital or for a few days afterwards. But beyond that it gets a bit silly.

I totally get how you might think this would be nice however
People would get upset, just train up your dp to be a gatekeeper and keep visits scheduled and not too long.
There is nothing more lovely than watching your loved ones with the tiniest member of the family.
My Grandparents appeared at the end of my hospital bed 45 hours after my eldest arrived. They stayed for 20 minutes then drove 3 hours home.
It is one of my most cherished memories, enjoy your lovely baby when it arrives.

I had dd in an ambulance, she was delivered by a male paramedic in the hospital car park her Father was at work my Mum was also at work so I had to ring for help as it was obvious dd was in a hurry, never in all my life have I been so pleased to see my Mum when she arrived at the hospital to comfort me. There's no way at all I'd have kept dd from my Mum for 2weeks even if the birth had been usual and you do not know what sort of birth you'll end up with OP

Anyone??
Even your mum?
I’d be a bit vague on dates so you aren’t getting text messages in the due date and say no visitors for a few days, but I wouldn’t not tell anyone.

4 hours !

The only person I know who was a bit like this (and I don’t know anyone who went as far as keeping the birth a secret!) is someone who is a massive over achiever perfectionist type and I think it came from a need to keep tight control over everything and show that she could do it all herself. Intense PND resulted. I think learning to accept help and support, even if the execution is clumsy, is a really crucial part of self care.

I got annoyed by my visitors about a million times but being surrounded by love and good intentions outweighed any irritations I felt.

That's a fairly impressive case of pfb you've caught op. Clearly if you want to withhold the info or even lie, do so, but it's a bit odd. Usually it's about telling people who care about you and the baby, and you can limit visitors,

Trust me, parenthood is a long road and with luck you'll have your child for the rest of your life, which will hopefully be long.

Babies sleep a lot, they also really just lay there, sleep, cry, shit, vomit a bit, burp, fart, and feed in the first couple of weeks. They don't laugh, giggle, smile or interact much. It's to be honest quite dull.

I had to keep DD2s sex a secret, and that was hard enough! And only for 24hrs... Just to give me time to contact her father (we didn't want her father to find out the sex from anyone but me... So close family knew but knew not to say anything, a few people knew I had had the baby and also knew why there were no more details).

DH was in Afghanistan by the way. He was the one that didn't meet her for two weeks. I needed our family around us. I needed my neighbours, my friends, that random lady in Tesco who held the baby while I sorted my toddler having a tantrum. Don't underestimate how much it takes a community to raise a child.

I think that’s awful tbh.
Telling people and asking for privacy whilst you adjust- fine.

Completely not telling anyone- no. It’s rude.

My waters broke at a big party with around 200 other people present. It would have been impossible to keep it a secret! You never know what's going to happen. I also think (along with others) that if you have a good relationship with parents/PILs then they will be upset if you don't share the birth with them shortly after it has happened.

Oh I really wanted to show my babies off!

You sound very controlling.......and selfish.

The more people that cares for a child the better. This is not a good start really but hey this is MN, the home of stupid selfish ideas like this because it's your baby, your rules. The world doesnt need to be full of intrusive friends and family members, you open your mouth and tell people not to visit if that's what you want. But I don't get it. Have your "rules" if you want.

As a mother I would be very hurt if my son or daughter lied to me about something so important.

Yes. Trust would be gone. I was so anxious (not that I let on) when my daughter was due. As a parent you worry for your own child as well as the baby. And you have a lot more life experience to know what can go wrong.
If my daughter put me through that, I would have to really question our relationship. It certainly wouldn't be what I thought it was. Fortunately I know she wouldn't be so thoughtless.

What she actually did was say that they would take a few days to get settled and then let us know when they were ready for visitors. In the end both grandparents got to visit on day 3 (baby was born late on day 1). The new auntie and uncle on day 5.
Everyone else after a week or so.

Aw don’t be so precious and ridiculous OP. You aren’t royalty you know

Meanwhile in the real world.........

I was so proud of myself, my husband, my baby...

I don't mean to detail the thread, but why proud? I can understand happy, excited, pleased, and relieved that all went well and that you have a healthy baby, but "proud" seems almost to suggest that someone who is infertile or who has a miscarriage or stillbirth should be in some way ashamed. I especially don't understand why you would be proud of your husband.

(I'm sorry if this sounds churlish, but this sort of commonly-accepted rhetoric around childbirth makes things even more difficult for the childless-not-by choice.)