To not tell anyone about birthday of baby for 2 weeks

[girlanonymous]

Not due until April, but me and DP want to have a week or 2 to ourselves with DC when she's here.

We're planning on not telling anyone until after 2 weeks that's she's here.

Has anyone done this?

Has anyone done this?

Nope, cos it’s bonkers.

Ahhh god not this shit again!!

OP I feel your getting a hard time here.
Yanbu if that is how you feel atm.
However why not just wait and see how you feel when the time comes?
Babies and plans dont go together so just go with the flow.
I do understand YOU being the one to break the news. With my dc we told family and select friends but said please keep news to yourself until we announce it. Worked for us.
Most also said let me know when your up for visitors so ball was in my court.

Are you going to stay inside your house all this time no walks with the pram, no popping to the shop, your husband will need to let his work know so his parental leave can begin, they might send flowers and surely the neighbour's might clock on.

A bit against the grain but (more with my 2nd child) I'd have loved a couple of weeks of it just being us. But more because I hate being stuck in the house whilst a conveyor belt of people come and sit and drink tea and keep wanting to feed my baby. Drove me potty. I like being out and about doing stuff.

But, keeping it a secret would have been impossible, mean on our immediate families and even if I was honest about what I wanted people would have thought I was bonkers.

No matter how all of my births have gone within 24 hours I wanted to show them off. And if I'd had to hide in my house for two weeks I'd have gone insane.

YABU. People will care about you, childbirth can be pretty scary, and will they want to know you are both ok. Very selfish not to let them know. You don't need to see anyone, just update the people you care about (and who care about you).

@UnaCorda

I was totally proud after my DC was born.

Couldn't believe I'd done that and made a baby and actually given birth.

Was nothing to do with anyone else. Why on Earth berate someone for feeling proud about something so physically painful and difficult? What a bitch comment.

unacorda get over yourself

Unless you have extremely unusual relatives/friends this is a really poor idea.

Not telling people close to you about something this big for two weeks sets very unfriendly tone and destroys trust. People will find it hurtful. It will weaken your extended family and social networks, which is not a good idea when you have you kids.

You should be able to have a couple of weeks without being inundated without hiding the fact you’ve had a baby. You are going o need to be able to set reasonable boundaries as parents, both with your child and with others in relation to your family time. If you can’t let people know when you are up for receiving visitors at the beginning of your family life (and politely turn them away at the door if they ignore your requests) you need to develop those skills ASAP.

Are your names Meghann and Harry?

I never felt the need to show them off. If people wanted to come and see the baby then fine as long as they rang ahead and I felt up to it.

I always wait until I am asked before going to visit someone that's just had a baby. That's usually because I want to see them than 'meet the baby' though.

Surely someone’s going to notice? I speak to my mum several times a week and visit often, same with my dad, I’m sure I couldn’t hide the birth of a child for 2 weeks, maybe 2 days but not weeks.

When I had my dc’s I couldn’t wait to show them off to family and friends.

Do what you like but don’t complain if people couldn’t give a toss about your baby after the 2 weeks. If you can’t be bothered to even tell people why should they generate enthusiasm?

Oh for goodness sake, of course people are proud of their babies.

That sounds stifling. Just you and DH and baby for two weeks in the house.
It also sounds unmanageable. Sod's law says that someone who knows someone in your family will see you in the hospital or going home with the baby. Then, think about how upset your family will be if they find out from someone else.
A new baby is a joyful time for a family. I don't understand why you'd want to taint that.
And I do understand wanting time alone but keeping the birth a secret is an odd way to approach that.We told everyone when the DC were born. We had visitors in the hospital. Then, when we got home, we let people know that we weren't running an open house so we could manage when we had visitors.

People comaparing this to Meghan and Harry are being ridiculous. They didn't keep the birth from their families. They just didn't tell the media, so the public had to wait a few days. Hardly unreasonable.
I'd have done exactly the same.

If you do it there will be consequences, people will be too hurt to make a fuss ye will have passive aggressive things thrown at ye for a long time.

It’s a bad idea, ye will have time for everything, babies are boring.

The thing is, after you give birth it's not your life any more, it's your babies life and they have a right to have a relationship with their grandparents, aunts, cousins etc.. it's your job to facilitate it. Ok, that doesn't need to be immediately after bith but jeez, don't shut them out either!

You might find that you actually want your family there.... my mum held DD before I did (difficult birth) and oh my goodness did I appreciate her help during those first few weeks. It was also really nice having someone to share the love with, and who was just as crazy about her as I was. Plus having her around meant I could shower and go to the toilet without stressing.

Are you honestly not even going to tell your folks?

My brother did this and we didn't find out for a week that the baby was born. They did tell my mum but asked her not to tell anyone. It was weird and made conversations odd in hindsight because I talk to her most days. By the time they'd told us we didn't have much time to be excited as our DC2 was born.

It's just an odd thing to do. We don't live nearby so it's not like we'd have been dropping in unannounced.

YANBU to do whatever you please but on a personal level I find it extremely precious. Also, if a sibling of mine did this I'd not show a jot of interest once I was eventually deemed important enough to be graced with the information of the birth of my neice or nephew, they could get to fuck with that nonsense.

And given your other threads, I think you'll need you family!

Everyone is assuming that the OP has parents, that she has a husband (even though she says DP), that this husband has parents, siblings, friends that contact them daily, etc. Personally I have lots of people around me but I don’t have parents or a husband, and I have lots of lovely friends but we certainly aren’t in daily contact,

As for the dig about feeling proud, I felt proud of my babies, proud of myself, proud of my body, proud of my family, I’m not sorry about that. Not at all. That isn’t meant to make anyone feel bad. It is precisely because of my long journey to get my babies and the ones I lost along the way that I felt proud, overwhelmed, amazed

Op do what makes you happy at the time.