To not tell anyone about birthday of baby for 2 weeks

[girlanonymous]

Not due until April, but me and DP want to have a week or 2 to ourselves with DC when she's here.

We're planning on not telling anyone until after 2 weeks that's she's here.

Has anyone done this?

I've never really understood this - I would have been so bored without visitors / long lunches in the pub. Newborns don't really do much other than eat and sleep and two weeks of my and DH watching each other hold a sleeping baby wouldn't have been great fun...

I think two weeks is a bit excessive, like many PP have said, you'll be going stir crazy after a few days.

I get the appeal of keeping a very tight knit bunch of people knowing at first - close family and best friends. But say if you don't want visitors for a day or two whilst you settle in.

You don't have to "announce" it any time soon after the birth. My DD was in NICU for 10 days and I didn't say anything to the wider world about her being born until she was out and had been home for a couple of days.

My mum was there at the birth so no hiding it from her! 😆

DH and I have agreed that up to a week immediately after the birth we want to just settle in at home, after which we will invite people over. It may end up being slightly less than a week as since we live two hours away, family could only feasibly come up at the weekend.

I couldn't not tell them of the birth though, asking for a bit of time to ourselves is one thing but not telling them at all is a bit sad really. Unless you expect then to hammer on the door and demand to be let in?

Also bear in mind that your DD is currently in your womb, developing the eggs that may one day become your grandchildren. Can you ever imagine being truly comfortable with the idea of not knowing (and being refused the information about) whether she and your grandchild had made it safely through delivery?

I wanted to show off my beautiful baby. Especially since they do nothing but look adorable asleep for those few weeks.

I was back at work after two weeks with him slung round my front.

Time goes quickly . Two weeks out of the loop is a massive waste imo.

I do wish I'd had a no visitors but our parents 'rule' for the first 3/4 days. Especially with my youngest who basically screamed and fed for the first few weeks. With both my children I've had long stop start labours and surprisingly fast births once things have got going. I've struggled to sleep for days before hand and after. And with both (large age gap) I've struggled to get breastfeeding initiated. And both have been epic sleep dodgers from the get go 😂With both children, we'd been bombarded with people, often unexpectedly, often for hours and I've always hated it. I'm much better after the first week once I've relaxed a bit and caught some snatches of sleep. I find it all too overwhelming before. That said I still wouldn't not announce the birth.

`good luck with that! Are you planning on lying to family? If you go 'dark' close to your due date people will worry something bad has/is happening to you or your LO.
Just tell them you want to nest for sometime together.
BTW, have you hand knitted your birthplan out of recycled materials yet??

I've never come across this 'we want to be alone' in r/l. I'd never encountered it til I read threads on here. It seems so strange. Any of my family and friends who've had babies have been desperate to show them off. My parents met their first grand daughter when she was an hour and a half old

You cant hide away for a fortnight pretending the baby hasnt arrived. It's not practical.

Think about how close family and friends will feel if you announce you have a 2 week old baby. I'd be so hurt if someone I was close to did that.

It's a crazy idea

we have just had a family member do something like this - all good up until due date then silence. Nothing. Didn't answer messages (neither parent) from pretty much everyone. Turned out that it was a really awful delivery, very traumatic, baby born with broken bones from being pulled out etc. The whole family struggled with worrying about them all, and wished we could have given support, but you can't do that when you are shut out. It was horrible, and pretty much spoiled the holidays for everyone involved (mostly the poor parents and baby of course!)

Had they just said something like 'baby is here; was hard but all will be well. We need some time to just be but can't wait til you meet baby in the new year' or the like, we'd have stopped worrying so much.

I bet after you've told everyone you'll be furious that no one actually give a hoot and no one bothers visiting because if you did that to me I'd be in no rush to pop round.

have you been reading threads on MN and been put off by the stories of new parents being inundated by unwelcome visitors?
Those stories are the minority. Most families and friends genuinely wish you and the new baby well, and want to congratulate you, and meet the new arrival. Most do not want to be a bother, or outstay their welcome. and most don't. It is for most families, a lovely and happy time, and I'd be surprised if you didn't want to share this joyful time with THE WORLD!!!

Its up to you, but I needed the support emotionally after giving birth, I told family and close friends (and my husband did the same his side), but told them when we were ready for visitors. I would find it odd to be told oh by the way we had our baby 2 weeks ago if I was a close family member or friend in honesty.

I liked not having people in my face 20 minutes after giving birth or sharing that I’m in labour (who needs to know that?), I never invited people to visit me in hospital, BUT I didn’t keep the arrival a secret! I told immediate family a few hours after the baby arrived, I think it’s nice to let people know the baby arrived safely and you are ok too. I will say we enjoyed those 3 hours of just us knowing though, it was nice not having phones pinging/being on the phone.

If you don’t want people in your faces, just say so. “Baby arrived safely etc... but don’t want any visitors for the first x days thanks”. People aren’t going to knock your door down to see your baby.

That’s sad OP. It’s nice to share the joy of a new baby.

Snub your family and friends if you must but don't start whining in the future that no-one's interested in your kids.

I applaud you for this idea! Why should you have to deal with loads of visitors when all you want to do is spend time with your new baby and get into a routine.
You should do what is right for you both.
Good luck to you both, I hope everything goes really well.

When you say you won't tell anyone, do you mean that literally, as in no family? Or just kind of generally. If you don't plan to tell your mum, or sister, or best friend then dear lord you are being so unreasonable it's not funny! Could you imagine if your child grows up and does that to YOU?!!!

Extreme PFB... you may well feel differently at the time. Secondly just don't of anything you don't want to do. Refuse visitors if you really are that way inclined but why turn it into a big secretive drama. I'd think you were mental and roll my eyes so far back in my head I might suffer permanent damage if you were a friend or family of mine.

No one cares as much about your baby as you do. Once the initial excitement is over you won't see them for days, weeks, months.

My 3rd baby is 5 weeks old now and i was poorly with pneumonia in those first 2 weeks after birth so wasn't on the school run etc , he changed and grew so much In that time and I felt a little sad that a lot of friends didn't get to meet him as a brand newborn daft as it sounds . I couldn't imagine not telling family or friends and I think I'd be upset if a family member did this to us,but obviously it's entirely your choice.

What happens if you go 2 weeks overdue before going into labour? You would leave your poor family panicking, thinking that you were at 44 weeks and hadn't had the baby yet?! Or are you planning to lie about your EDD for the entire pregnancy?

If you don't want visitors, it's fine to say 'no visitors, please'. That's much better than lying to all concerned.

Sunnytimesahead I absolutely agree that no-one should have visitors until they feel ready and comfortable to do so. However presumably the Op & her DP have people who love and care about them. Birth still has its risks, and surely all they will want is a short text to say that mum and baby are doing ok?

I think you may be over estimating what people will think or do. We have parents visit in hospital, a friend who happened to be on leave a few days later popped in, one of my brothers came up a couple of days later, neighbours popped in, other friends after work for an hour over the next week, a family for an hour one weekend then we had a lynch party about a month after she was born for the rest of our friends to meet her. People are at work during the day, they’re busy in the evenings, they might pop in for an hour at the weekend.

Won’t work know if DH takes his paternity leave?