Friend selling gifts I got her

[nobunfight]

Just been on Facebook and seen my best friend is selling some shoes she borrowed from me a couple months ago. She asked me if she could borrow them, I said yes of course. I hadn't asked for them back because I hadn't needed them, but I do want them back at some point! Anyway they are on Facebook for sale, I thought ok, she maybe forgot they were mine, but then I noticed there are 2 other things she's put on, gifts I bought her. One is a gift from a holiday, that I put a lot of thought into, and another a Christmas present that again, I spent a lot on and put a lot of thought into and she said she loved them.

How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

@KindnessCrusader lots of people are really struggling (I have in the past) but don't sell things that don't belong to them. I don't believe for one minute that this friend thought the OP had given her the shoes, particularly as she told her she needed them back. I think this friend was just been incredibly cheeky to be honest.

Were they recent gifts?

I agree with a pp that so many gifts are just a waste of money. Also I find that people who think they are good at gift buying are just as hit and miss as everyone else.

Avoid buying gifts for her in the future, stick to Amazon vouchers or something similar. I would have posted on Facebook about the shoes, that way no doubt that she would have seen the message and I would have rung her. Hope you get them back.

I would probably mention the gifts to her - lightheartedly, as they ARE hers to sell, but to let her know you’ve noticed and so that you can be upfront in future about not wanting to buy her ‘stuff’. If you have to buy her a present again ask her very specifically for something she’d like or pay for lunch, a theatre ticket or something like that. Or just get something like alcohol. You can be honest with her about why.

Glad you're getting your shoes back.

If she genuinely believed you gave them to her, she still should have checked you didn't want them back before trying to sell them.

And while the gifts are technically hers to do with as she wants, I'd find it very hurtful too. Either don't give her gifts now, or choose something like chocoates or deodorant sets from Savers.

I think the lack of apology speaks volumes here..

Your friend is fucking rude! Did she say when she will be returning your shoes?

Definitely don't spend another penny on her.

Glad you're getting your shoes back.
Can't believe she hasn't apologised.
She's a CF and no mistake.
I'd be upset about this whole thing too

Glad you got the shoes back. Either she is scatterbrained or a CF, does she have previous?

But the gifts, do people really keep all the gifts they are given forever? My ILs always get us unsuitable gifts, often large and expensive like new kitchen equipment or furniture that they have clearly thought about for both us and DD I try to demure and refuse on the spot with “it’s too kind” and “it’s lovely but we don’t have room” etc but to no success, I’ve tried leaving them at theirs and then they bring them round and leave at ours.....does etiquette mean I have to keep all of them forever? I’ve been storing in garage and then when the next item appears selling or donating the first?

Glad you're getting the shoes back. Your friend is a cf

As for the gifts, as you've said people can do as they wish with gifts, but it's bad for to sell them right under your nose. We all get stuff we don't like and end up selling it throwing away, but you do it discreetly ffs

Glad you got the shoes back! Even if she did think you'd given them to her (unlikely), surely you'd offer them back instead of selling them so soon after- totally different to the gifts, because with the shoes she knew she'd asked for them! FFS, and then there are idiots like me who worry about putting baby gifts up on Facebook (when said baby is now 5 and I've got all the use I can from them) in case I offend the people who have them to me!

Cheeky mare needs to give those shoes back.

Has she taken the ad down?

Did she say she’d give your shoes back or has she already sold them?

I think you need some better friends!

Definitely ask for the shoes back. The gifts are hers to do with as she sees fit. If she'd given them to charity you'd be none the wiser.

Glad the shoes are coming back.
If you want to give her gifts in future, make them perishable or personalised!
I'd probably stick to the "little something" to acknowledge the birthday, and say that I don't want to clutter her house up.
Regifting I have less of a conscience about. In my teaching days, many of my pupils were unaware that I didn't drink alcohol, and the many bottles I received were, I am told, good stuff, and clearly kindly meant. And my dear relatives used to drink a hearty toast to the school at our family gatherings, instructing me strictly, "Twosheds, don't you leave that school!"

Has she actually taken down the ad? I'd make it very clear that a) you certainly didn't give her them to keep and b) you'd like them back ASAP so you can wear them this weekend. Until they're in your actual hands I wouldn't get too relaxed.

I hope you get your shoes back. The lack of an apology would bother me.

I wouldn’t bother with gifts at all in the future. If it was queried then I would tell her why. I know they were a gift but it just seems like bad form to me. Sell if you must but a quiet nod first would be appreciated.

I wouldn’t be letting her borrow anything again either.

Don’t lend her anything again. Don’t buy her anything again. Cheeky grabbing cow.

So glad you're getting the shoes back. Make sure you pick them up asap (just in case) saying you need them for an upcoming event and go and collect them yourself.

In future if you do buy her a presnt get her a £10 gift voucher at the very most, or something for £5 from Primark homeware section.

Also take a screenshot of the items she has put up for sale, just in case you need it to make a point in the future.

I'm glad you're getting them back. Either she failed to understand the word 'lend' in the first place, or she's a liar and an attempted thief. Either way she doesn't sound like the kind of person you want to carry on buying presents for!

if you feel the need to get her a present in future, make it something perishable. Flowers, fruit, cream cake.

Have you got your shoes yet?

I think that because you didn't ask fr them back straight away she kept quiet and hoped that you'd forgotten about them.

Quite honestly, if this was me I’d get my nice shoes back off her and then never buy her another thing, nor initiate any socialising with her at all. That’s a very uncaring thing she did there, to allow you to know she was selling your gifts. They may be hers to do with what she wants but that’s unpleasant and I personally cannot be in the slightest bit arsed with unpleasantness when the world of full of kind and thoughtful people.