Friend selling gifts I got her

[nobunfight]

Just been on Facebook and seen my best friend is selling some shoes she borrowed from me a couple months ago. She asked me if she could borrow them, I said yes of course. I hadn't asked for them back because I hadn't needed them, but I do want them back at some point! Anyway they are on Facebook for sale, I thought ok, she maybe forgot they were mine, but then I noticed there are 2 other things she's put on, gifts I bought her. One is a gift from a holiday, that I put a lot of thought into, and another a Christmas present that again, I spent a lot on and put a lot of thought into and she said she loved them.

How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

Just tell her you want them back.

Cross post. Well done OP

I'm glad you haven't fallen out about it. I had 2 friends who fell out over some trousers and haven't spoken to each other since!

Friend A lost weight and gave Friend B a pair of trousers. About 2 years later, friend A had put the weight back on and asked Friend B for the trousers back. Friend B said the trousers hadn't fit her and as she was under the impression she'd been given the trousers, she had given them to charity about 18 months previously. Friend A was fuming!

I expect she said she thought you gave her them to save face

Ask for the shoes back and she can take the sale down.

Do you believe that she forgot the shoes weren’t for keeping?

It might not have occurred to her that’s you’d see the gifts, she might not remember who gave them to her if she’s that forgetful!

This reminds me so much of this CF ex-friend (note the ex) of mine who peddled me a sob story about how she needed a new device for school because her old iPad was slow and clunky (she was doing a course on digital illustration).

I was getting a new one anyway (she knew this because I was asking people in the group chat if the upgrade from the original pro to the new pro was worth it), so decided to just give her my old iPad Pro. Lo and behold, I 'stalked' her Instagram a month later, and she was still using her old iPad, and there were posts of her bragging about this new designer handbag she just bought.

OP, I don't for a second believe that she 'forgot' it was a loan. I'm also glad you've decided not to buy her things anymore — that's what I'd do too if I were you!

Not the point of the thread but who borrows shoes ewww, I might borrow a dress or a jacket but shoes are too personal.

I had a cf sell a birthday gift I’d got for her son 2 days after I gave it, on Facebook where I could see. It had cost me £15 and she was asking for £3, it really pissed me off because I’d picked it because it was something he particularly likes (dinosaurs) and if he already had it she could have said and I could have taken it back for something else. I didn’t have the receipt but it was John Lewis brand so could have easily been exchanged for something of the same value without the receipt and there’s a John Lewis within 20 minutes of her house. And she definitely isn’t so short of cash that she needs the £3!

Sounds like you're not very good at getting her gifts she wants... people rarely sell something they love. If she doesn't like them then it's normal to sell them on.

Ask for your shoes back though that's rude

'Sounds like you're not very good at getting her gifts she wants... people rarely sell something they love. If she doesn't like them then it's normal to sell them on.'

Sounds like she's rather an insensitive 'friend' to me plastering them over a selling site she obviously knows you see.

And as for not even a 'sorry' For advertising your shoes she sounds like a brass necked CF to me

Has she taken the sale down from fb?

She "let you have" the shoes she borrowed from you. Well isn't that lovely of her!

Well now you know, don't put too much thought or effort into picking out lovely gifts for her anymore. A smelly set from Boots should do it.

Have you told her you’re hurt?

From the way you say you wouldn't have been bothered if they hadn't cost so much, she doubtless has you down as a pushover. Take this moment as the time you change so she knows better in future.

Urgh. The rise in online selling has revealed a subset of people who are reasonably comfortably off but who are, quite frankly, tight as fuck and graspily try to a) get everything "free" (selling on for as much or more than paid for) b) monetise absolute everything that passes through their hands, be it gifts, taking advantage of things others generously offer up for free etc.

It's one thing to be thrifty, it's another to love money above all else & a remarkably unattractive character trait.

She sounds like a shitty friend

Well done, OP!

I'm not normally part of the CF brigade, but your friend is one CF!!!!

Just because you 'put a lot of thought' into the gift, doesn't mean you got it right.

This ^^

I worded if she didn’t apologise because she feels aggrieved that you lost her money. In any case, she must now know you know she’s selling the gifts you gave her. I’d be having a big think about what you receive from this friendship.

I wonder - not I worded.

Don’t even mention Facebook just say “ By the way, you know those shoes I lent you you? Would it be possible to have them back,I want to wear them” and do it quickly before she sells them!

There's a certain etiquette to life OP and that's not it. Ask for your shoes to be returned and keep all future gifts to wine and chocs as a PP said!

She is a CF; not much of a friend I would say. Glad you will be getting your shoes back!!

She’s a cheeky mare

Sounds like you're not very good at getting her gifts she wants... people rarely sell something they love

errr - well it's pretty bloody wierd to sell something that you have borrowed? - so I would not extend expectations of normal behaviour to this person.
If someone seriously dislikes or has no use for a gift, better to give it to a charity shop than sell it - especially selling it where the person that gave it to you would definitely see it.

glad you got the shoes back, or will do soon.

If you do remain in contact/stay friends with this person, I would definitely not buy her gifts or loan her anything again.
I'd like to think that she wouldn't ask to borrow anything in future, but suspect not.