Friend selling gifts I got her

[nobunfight]

Just been on Facebook and seen my best friend is selling some shoes she borrowed from me a couple months ago. She asked me if she could borrow them, I said yes of course. I hadn't asked for them back because I hadn't needed them, but I do want them back at some point! Anyway they are on Facebook for sale, I thought ok, she maybe forgot they were mine, but then I noticed there are 2 other things she's put on, gifts I bought her. One is a gift from a holiday, that I put a lot of thought into, and another a Christmas present that again, I spent a lot on and put a lot of thought into and she said she loved them.

How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

Shoes is poor form but gifts that you gave... depends on how long ago!
My sister took pictures of her at a car boot sale.. along with a photo frame I bought her years ago! I don’t mind though, they have moved house and used it for years in the last house. People redecorate and change things so who cares where they sell it! If it was from this Xmas though that would be awful

Oh dear! Maybe she has money/ cash flow problems and is desperate. Talk to her, maybe you can help? Xx

Shes not much of a friend

Next Christmas buy her shoes. Obviously she likes yours enough to use them and she can sell when she is done. Win win

She’s not your friend

No problem with her selling her own possessions ( gifts) but either she has forgotten they are your shoes or she is desperate ( or a sociopath) .

I loaned a curling iron to a colleague years ago. She asked when I wanted it back, I said no rush, whenever. I then totally forgot about it.

6 months later she posted it for sale on Facebook. I left a comment saying I hope you plan on giving me the money for MY curling iron if you sell it!

You say you've got the shoes back. Does she know that you saw that she had been trying to sell them? If so, I assume she's realised that you've seen her selling your gifts too?

Good for you OP. Although no apology, was your friend at least embarrassed?

And she's your 'best' friend? It sounds to me like she doesn't value you anywhere near the amount you value her. Her blatant CFery is off the charts, she simply doesn't care at all about your feelings. I would say something about her selling the gifts. Even if it was a 'you realise you were selling the gifts I bought you where I could see them listed?' She should be made to feel ashamed but something tells me she doesn't have the ability to feel shame. I would seriously consider cooling your friendship with her right down. And find a new 'best' friend. Find a new friend, full stop. She is not even a friend to you, let alone a best friend. Friends don't display such a blatant lack of empathy and feeling.

LouisaJenny, what did she say?

Nope not embarrassed and she knew I would have seen the other stuff for sale, she just said she needs the money but she's just doing an extension on her house and she's been kitting it out with brand new furniture and her being short of money is the first I've heard.

Outrageous! Not much of a friend

She’s not a friend , dump and move on !

I'm glad you got your shoes back, however I would say she is not a very good friend, no apology given speaks volumes! As PP has said, no more gifts for her, nor would I lend her anything. In fact, I would probably go very low contact, I don't think you'd be missing anything.

Well you have your shoes back so that's good. Never lend her anything again 'I won't lend you anything as last time I did you tried to sell it instead of returning them'

And just stop the gifts. 'Dear CF we'll do cards and not gifts anymore, we're adults, since I see you sell the gifts I give you anyway- it's not worth the depreciation in money nor the effort I try to go to. It'll be much easier this way'

I would ask her privately to return the shoes.I don’t believe in embarassing your friends online. Cheeky of her to do that,
As for the gifts- it seems that your tastes don’t match and maybe she thought it would be awkward to tell you that she didn’t like them.
I sold and gifted to charity gifts I got from by best friend. She’d usually announce ahead that she got me the best gift for Christmas or my birthday but were things up to her taste, not mine such as vintage decorations when vintage was her thing; my house was all modern decorated and matching Disney jumpers. She was big into Disney, not me.

@FelicisNox “no one forgets they borrowed something”
Exactly this! Sorry OP but she’s not your friend I’m any way, she knew you’d see the posts and didn’t care. She would have probably said she lost the shoes or something. Just NC her, your wasting your time

Unless your going to call her out about this then your just being a door mat, selling gifts you’ve just bought is trashy. It’s not like those few things will make a dent in brand new furniture, I’d just say “as you seem to not value our friendship and are using my gifts to give yourself cash I think it’s best we just end our friendship. I don’t know how you can’t see that doing it was thoughtless and would upset me”

I can't believe how scarce you were to ask for your shoes back.

Of course eBay is exactly the right place to sell unwanted gifts!

Some friend she is, at least she could have had the decency to sell your gifts somewhere where you won't find out about it.
And for the shoes publicly shame her on facebook and say on there that they are not hers to sell and you want them back.
She wouldn't be any friend of mine after this.

What a shit friend. Ditch her.

Glad you got your shoes back!

I had a friend who did this constantly. Just buy her cheaper uglier harder to sell gifts and see how that works out for her! Defo get your shoes back. That's extraordinarily cheeky fuckery.

This alway confuses me when people are so wet they can’t even speak to a friend about something like this. Just ask for your blooming shoes back

^This

She's a cheater, cheeky bitch, not a friend. But by the same token, she has the measure of you. You're a mug. She knew damn well she'd borrowed the shoes. By not cutting her loose, you show her you're willing to put up with being used.