Friend selling gifts I got her

[nobunfight]

Just been on Facebook and seen my best friend is selling some shoes she borrowed from me a couple months ago. She asked me if she could borrow them, I said yes of course. I hadn't asked for them back because I hadn't needed them, but I do want them back at some point! Anyway they are on Facebook for sale, I thought ok, she maybe forgot they were mine, but then I noticed there are 2 other things she's put on, gifts I bought her. One is a gift from a holiday, that I put a lot of thought into, and another a Christmas present that again, I spent a lot on and put a lot of thought into and she said she loved them.

How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

If this is real, I don't understand what is "petty" about asking for your shoes back. Just ask.
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The pressies are hers to do with as she pleases, although if it had been me I would have politely offered them back to you first if they were something unsuitable for me.

I agree with the previous posters who have said you need to ask for the shoes back - and I think you need to do it ASAP - before they get sold to someone else.

In the name of good relations with your friend, I would not mention that you'd seen them for sale - just a quick text saying "Hi Brenda, Could I get back the shoes I lent you - I need them. Thanks, @nobunfight".

I can understand why you are miffed at her selling the gifts you've given her - but I think I'd turn a blind eye, and get her token gifts in future.

Are you going to (publicly) ask for the shoes back? If not, why not?

Don’t buy her anymore presents. Many people already have more than enough of their own stuff anyway; they don’t need more random bits, however thoughtfully chosen.

She doesn’t sound like a great friend really.

She must be very insensitive or just a bit stupid to be selling this stuff right under your nose on Facebook.

Well, if you wont stand up for your self she is going to continue to be a crap friend!

"Petty"??? Are you kidding?!

She is selling your shoes. She should be fucking mortified. Stop being afraid and stand up for yourself. And stop putting your heart into choosing gifts for her. It's clearly not appreciated.

You need to ask her for the shoes back pronto! The gifts are hers to sell if she wishes.

Yep what crusty crab said. She may have sold them by the time you message her and they will be even worse

Bloody hell, just tell her you want your shoes back. It's not difficult

That

Ok I am going to ask her for them back now

Agree with pinkdelight ask her why she is selling your shoes on FB and get them back

Just text saying 'can you please bring me the shoes you borrowed, I want to wear them this weekend'
She may have assumed you'd given them to her.

Why on earth would it be petty to ask for your shoes back? Do so straightaway before she sells them!

Gifts are a different matter - they’re hers to do with as she pleases.

How do I approach this?

Talk to her. why would you not? Just tell her to get your shoes off the site immediately because you want them back.

Ignore the other stuff. It's hers, to do what she likes with.
I appreciate it's hurtful as you put thought & effort into buying her nice presents, but maybe she has some financial pressure that you don't know about.

Text or call her straight away and say you've seen she's selling shoes on FB and she may have forgotten that you loaned them to her and want them back. Ask her to remove her post immediately and return the shoes. You can't do much about the gifts, except don't buy her more, but at least she'll know you've seen what she's selling.

I'd definitely be downgrading her from 'best friend' status, or at least come to an agreement that you don't do gifts for any future birthdays/events.

She clearly has no shame. It'll be interesting to see how she digs herself out of this one!

Ask for the shoes back - I hope she does give them back.
Don't buy gifts for her ever again.
Does she buy you gifts?
If so, then if you have to give her a gift - re-gift the ones she got you back to her!

I've text her now about the shoes. Not mentioned the gifts, I do think it's rude she is selling them where I could see them for sale but I'll leave it

That is hurtful and not the first time I’ve seen posts like this. I take it you won’t buy her holiday gifts again.

FGS sake, IF this is genuine, then of course ask for YOUR shoes back, why would you not ask for them back when you say you want them back. It also means she is then aware that you are on to her. At the same time say as she obviously doesn't like your choice of presents despite you putting a lot of thought into them, you think it's best you and her stop exchanging gifts from now on. You don't have to fall out with her, just be calm and assertive, it will signal to her that she cannot take you for a mug anymore. Go round to hers right now and get them back.

Has she took the post down yet?

Cheeky mare! Tell her you want the shoes back immediately and as someone else suggested tell her you'll buy the presents and give them to someone who's not an ungrateful cow. She's just thoughtless and knew dam well you'd be able to see them for sale? Some people! 🙄

Just don’t buy her gifts anymore - people, especially friends, generally don’t need things now to feel cared about or appreciated. If you want to show her you care, spend time with her instead of buying her stuff.

Why are you scared of asking? Doesn't sound like friendship

Not asked her for the shoes back yet, but I will. Probably won't mention the gifts. I’m afraid to kick up a fuss in case she forgot they were only on loan not to keep and I don’t want to come across as petty over some shoes

If she is a close enough friend that you lend each other shoes, then just phone her "Oi, {friend} remember those black shoes you borrowed off me a couple of months ago - I need them back before the weekend please, can you drop them round"
There, wan't difficult.