Friend selling gifts I got her

[nobunfight]

Just been on Facebook and seen my best friend is selling some shoes she borrowed from me a couple months ago. She asked me if she could borrow them, I said yes of course. I hadn't asked for them back because I hadn't needed them, but I do want them back at some point! Anyway they are on Facebook for sale, I thought ok, she maybe forgot they were mine, but then I noticed there are 2 other things she's put on, gifts I bought her. One is a gift from a holiday, that I put a lot of thought into, and another a Christmas present that again, I spent a lot on and put a lot of thought into and she said she loved them.

How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

@RoyalCorgi we don't know whether the gifts are useful to anyone.
I guess she could donate them to charity but I couldn't begrudge my friend making a couple of quid off them.

I would’ve commented on the post of the shoes saying ‘how much would you like ? I had some like these and lent them to somebody but never got them back’ or something like that . But I’m prob sly being a bit unreasonable. I’d be peed off though , you’re not alone .

Thats why gifts are such a waste - most people get things they do not really want or value.

No more gifts for her though. And ask for the shoes back before she sells them. I can only imagine she thinks they are hers!!

It's been over an hour since you texted. Any reply yet?

I feel so sad that just after Christmas you see hundreds of sales posts stating "Unwanted Christmas present" and it seems so.... ungrateful. I always think, "God I hope they blocked the giver before putting that up for sale!"

I've seen it before when a lassie was selling loads and her mum came on to the posts and told her that she was an ungrateful little swine and not to bloody well expect any presents for next Christmas if nothing she bought was good enough!

There was a thread on here recently about not buying adults gifts or Christmas pressies. I've sorted of adopted that stance as most people just go and buy what they want anyway plus I really don't have the time or patience to faff around worrying about it.

Has she replied yet?

Message her reminding her the shoes are yours and not hers to sell ! Other stuff ... learn the lesson and either don’t get her anything or just a voucher !

Cheeky bint! Not that it matters but are they fancy shoes and she's looking for £££?

I guess you've saved yourself the trouble of ever lending/giving her anything again.

Stop buying her any gifts. Does she buy you any? Knock it on the head in the future.

With regard to the shoes, how can you ever have thought it petty to ask for them back? They are your shoes, and good shoes don't come cheap. Follow up your message requesting them back before the end of the day. Very firmly! Tell her you have seen her advertising them for sale and could hardly believe it.

She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. A cheeky fucker who is chancing her arm sounds more like it.

I would have just said something on FB.Why are you scared of this friend.

FFS, she borrowed shoes and you felt petty asking for them back? Get them back. Text her again. The cheeky cow knows damn well she borrowed them. Forgot, my arse. STOP loaning her anything or buying her gifts don't be such a wally! Next time she asks to borrow you say, 'No. I no longer lend out my things.'

Oh, and never lend her anything again. She clearly can't be trusted. She hasn't forgotten that the shoes are yours, whatever else she might try to claim.

You know why she has seen fit to sell your gifts (and shoes!) under your nose?

It’s because she knows that you’re nice and “don’t want to be petty” or “cause a fuss”. You should CAUSE A BIG FUSS! She’s treating you like shit and if allowed to get away with it, will only do it again.

I've had a friend do this with stuff I had given to her for free because she claimed she needed it and within a week it was all on selling sites. She did at least block me from seeing the posts but forgot that we have mutual friends who recognised the items and showed me. We aren't friends anymore as I felt she clearly asked for them from me in order to sell them and they'd have gone free of charge to a mother and baby unit if I hadn't have thought she needed them.

Presents - well just don't buy for her again, the shoes - that's just downright rude. No one forgets they've borrowed something and then sells it by accident

No it bloody doesn't. The thing to do with an unwanted gift is to give it to someone else, not sell it.

Noooooooo. Regifting is awful. Unless you can't afford any other option or you know the other person would REALLY like the item. Other than that it's just lazy and cheapskate.

I think selling the gifts where you can see is pretty crass, but I don't understand the 'no more gifts for her' mentality on here. Are people expected to keep every item they're ever given, out of gratitude?

Also, YES to writing a direct comment about the shoes being yours on the Facebook page. Show her up. She is playing you for a mug. Be assertive here and make it plain that you are a force to be reckoned with.

Demand the return of the shoes and stand your ground until she gives them to you.

Maybe she’s short of money for a big bill.

I see you've asked for your shoes back, good!

I'd just quietly stop bringing her things back from holiday, or reduce the value to a trinket. I used to spend quite a bit on bringing 'souvenirs' back to my adult children. They always said thanks and were appreciative but then I realized I was bringing things they didn't really wear, use, or display. So I started bringing just a little trinket or a small item of food/drink. They're just as appreciative and now I don't care if they throw them in a drawer (or sell them).

I agree that your friend is free to dispose of a gift as she chooses, but if this becomes more than a one-off I'd talk to her about stopping gift-giving at Xmas, birthdays, etc.

Grow a spine and comment on the shoes before she sells them and then tells you 'sorry, they're sold'. Get a pair! I'd be fucking fuming if someone did this to me. Some friend! Bullshit!

Leave the gifts, but text immediately and ask for the shoes back before she sells them.

She will know you’ve seen the gifts for sale too. No need to say anything.

No more gifts or borrowing footwear!

What a cheeky cow. In no way are you being petty asking for your own shoes back! As others have said, the gifts are hers to sell, but the fact that she did it where you could see shows a selfish disregard for your feelings. You said she’s your best friend - are you sure you are hers? She doesn’t sound like a friend to me.

Have you still got the receipt for the Christmas gift? Is it unused? In which case maybe buy it back off her cheap and return it to the shop and make a few quid! Then NEVER buy her a present again. I would definitely mention the presents. Something like “I’m sorry you don’t like the gifts I bought you. Shall we skip all present buying in future and both save ourselves the time and money?”

You clearly don’t like to stand up for yourself, even with a so called friend, so maybe work on your assertiveness in 2020 and don’t let CFs get the better of you.

If she doesn't respond to the text just comment on the Facebook post.

Shame her on Facebook immediately!

Stop buying her presents. We had a friend who would ask for specific presents for her and her daughter, when we asked what they’d like for Christmas/Birthdays. Would duly get them, only to discover when FB Marketplace started she was instantly selling them. She doesn’t need the money. We aren’t friends anymore.

Hope you get your shoes back!

Get them back before she sells them!