He likes vulnerable women - should I be worried

[Freshstart2020]

Hi all

Am recently separated and kind of seeing a guy, 15year age gap, he txt's me constantly, have gone on a handful of dates. Due to my separation (ex refused to tell family so wasnt public even though separated a year) we have had to be discreet.

Txting last night, silly conversation, he is also saying I am stunning but he isnt into me for my looks, I asked him what it actually is about me that he likes. His response was 'probably how vulnerable you are as a person, I'm attracted to vulnerable women as they need something'.

I was stunned.

Should I run?

Her recent post was a lot kinder, I meant her rant yesterday.

@OrangeLindt

The words from @Whatisthisfuckery were strong, but sometimes strong words are needed. IMO, this was one such time.

Abusers destroy lives, not just of the woman, but also the lives of innocent children, like my siblings and I were. I don't blame my DM for what happened, but I do blame her for not seeing what was going on in her home.

She asks why we didn't tell her, but why would we think she would take our side against him? She confessed that she always felt that he smacked us too hard, because 'men don't know their own strength.' She didn't stop him. She also told us she loved him more than us once.

Now she's devastated and also 80 years old. I can't challenge her about it, because she just bursts into tears. I've forgiven her, but it's hard to be around her much.

The OP is vulnerable and is a single mum and 2 DC. She is a very likely target for a child abuser to come into her life. Lots of kids are abused by their mum's partner.

Love

He definitely isn't looking for a quick shag.

He's looking to convert you, tie you, coerce you, and ultimately abuse you because you're vulnerable and haven't told him to fuck off .

Please do tell him to fuck off.

run

If you were discussing anything sexual and you’re also into that, then I think it’s fine.

If he means that he likes vulnerable women in general in the everyday life of a relationship then no, not ok.

Orange yes, my first post was harsh. it was bald and abrupt and true. What’s the point of dressing up the truth? Some people will ignore it because it’s harsh and some people will take it as the verbal shake they needed. I can’t control the way my words are received but it doesn’t make my words any less correct.

Developing feelings for someone you’ve hardly met let alone know nothing about is self indulgent. There might be good reasons why someone might feel a deep yearning to develop a connection with another but if you strip it back to the core it’s a selfish desire, and it’s especially selfish when you have kids and the person you’re desperate to hand your emotional wellbeiing over to shows dangerous signs of wishing to do you harm.

Whether you agree with my approach or not is by the by. I’m a stranger on the internet, the OP asked for oppinions and I gave mine, which by the way come from bitter experience and a lot of self reflection, and a hard road trying to recover from a lot of trauma of my own. I’m not especially bothered if you think I was nasty, I’ve earned that insight and I have the right to share it in whatever manner I choose.

He likes a challenge?

You aren't a project!

This man is showing more red flags than a village fete. Hopefully he'll take the lead from your lack of response and fuck off back under his rock.

Fast as you can. Flaming great big red flag there. Take your toe out of the water before it sucks your whole body in and you can't get out (being vulnerable - you may not be able to).