He likes vulnerable women - should I be worried

[Freshstart2020]

Hi all

Am recently separated and kind of seeing a guy, 15year age gap, he txt's me constantly, have gone on a handful of dates. Due to my separation (ex refused to tell family so wasnt public even though separated a year) we have had to be discreet.

Txting last night, silly conversation, he is also saying I am stunning but he isnt into me for my looks, I asked him what it actually is about me that he likes. His response was 'probably how vulnerable you are as a person, I'm attracted to vulnerable women as they need something'.

I was stunned.

Should I run?

The hills! Run for zem.

If you are asking the question then subconsciously you know it’s not ok.

The Fear book listed up thread is available on for free if you start an Audible trial (make sure you cancel it before you have to pay).
I’ve just listened to the first chapter. Thanks to those who recommended it. It’s brilliant so far.

I clicked YABU by accident - meant to click YADNBU

This man is playing you like a harp.

He's considerably older. He's successful. A CEO.

He 'wonders what you see in him'. He likes vulnerable women. He likes BDSM.

Oh Freshstart RUN. He knows -exactly- what he's doing and he's getting you where he wants you, and then he'll start in on destroying you.

You can't save everyone, but the people here are trying to save at least one, because you happened to post here.

I hope you walk away for your own sake, but also for your children. A diminished mother who's been royally fucked up and fucked over is going to be a lot less than the mother she could have been.

I clicked YABU by accident too😊

Run

Oh Zaphodsotherhead this line:

"But what happens when you are no longer vulnerable? If he likes vulnerable women, when you have your strength back after your separation and you want to reassert yourself - won't he just leave you, because you are no longer 'the woman he fell for'?"

that is PRECISELY what happened to me and you have only just made me see it :(

OP PLEASE run for the hills. I had seven years of pain with a man like this, and wasted 7 good years of my life. Please don't go there. please.

Run for the hills, don’t look back, and when you get far enough away build a massive wall around your chosen hill so he can’t get in.

Hook 'em up and reel 'em in...

I don't think you're an idiot, OP - I think you're smart for getting suspicious when he said this, rather than blindly being flattered because he said he liked you.

The PP who said that this man is using BDSM as a smokescreen for being controlling in a sinister manner is spot on. I've seen this before in the BDSM community. You get perfectly good people who like to be Dom but they are well adjusted and behave like normal people, they understand that power imbalance is a game and fun between consenting adults. They don't seek out genuinely vulnerable men and women to "play" with because they want an equal partner. This man is not one of those people. I would put money on that he has no part of a BDSM community - not that you need to but he isn't interested in proper practices. He just wants to control and manipulate. He is a predator. The interesting part is that he has showed his hand so early which indicates that he also isn't very bright, or he's playing a very subtle game. Run away now.

Maybe posters should think carefully before sharing their own experiences of kink, bdsm etc with this stranger of few words.

Haven't rtft, don't know if it's genuine, but ltb. Ltb ltb ltb.

report it then, @MorrisZapp

New bf is weird
Old bf is weirder
When you break up you no longer have th right to dictate terms like this.
Stop that craziness right now

He doesn't live in Bristol does he Op?

Yes run! He couldn't sound creepier if he had "stalker" stamped on his forehead.

This is what puts me off men - every so often i catch a good looking one looking at me in 'that' way and i think "what could it possibly be about fugly ole me that he finds attractive?".

I think the OP has the answer, sadly.

Not sure why this is being questioned as genuine or not.

I havent contacted him and he hasn't contacted me today, maybe he got a feeling from no response last night.

No doesnt live in bristol

Jenasaurus I was wondering the same thing, sounds like him doesn’t it

1Whowaswronghere2

Can you explain what you mean

I would be wary of someone who thinks vulnerable is attractive.

How long before just being a bit vulnerable wears off or he sees how strong you are really?

Can you imagine how sexy you might be if you were quivering on the floor in fear?

I’d be gone.

@MorrisZapp

Maybe posters should think carefully before sharing their own experiences of kink, bdsm etc with this stranger of few words.

If you're referring to my post, I'm happy to share no matter the circumstances. Consent is an inside job.

Listen to your gut.

You know this isn't a good sign

Isthisridix intrigued how you know him too...im guessing I know you in RL