OP, do be careful in assuming he’s lost interest because he hasn’t been back in touch. If he still thinks you’re worth a crack, which is entirely possible, then he’ll hold out a bit in order to build suspense. It’s not unusual, in fact it’s almost ubiquitous that these sorts of men will come back for another go from another angle. Please block his number, and block him on every platform where he can see what you’re doing or communicate with you.
Many of the PPs on this thread have experience of horrible creepy fuckers like this man, you would do very well to take on board the advice you’re given here. It just might save you from consequences you can’t imagine.
Please believe us when we say that you really aren’t ready or able to engage in the dating scene safely. The fact that you have a deep desire for somebody to know and understand you thoroughly. As understandable as this desire may be, it indicates that you have a need to be validated, as if you need another to interpret you. I understand this need. When I left my marriage I was quite lost. Like you I was with my XH from very young, 18, and I knew nothing else other than him and the very narrow life he restricted me to. I felt entirely dislocated from myself, because I identified myself as a part of my marriage, not a person in my own right. In order for my life to have feeling I thought, there had to be another person to make me complete.
The good news OP is that you can find yourself. It might take a bit of time and some self reflection and facing up to a few difficult truths, and while it can be a difficult and sometimes painful process, it’s more than worth it in the end.
In order for you to do this you need to spend time as a single person. You need to find your feet and your place in the world as a fully realised, independent adult. Only by doing this will you understand yourself, who you are and in turn what you need and value in another.
Remember, what another sees in you is different to how you see yourself. The qualities another person values about you may not be qualities you necessarily recognise in yourself, or ones you’re reluctant to recognise. A large proportion of other people’s view of you is projection, especially if you hardly know them, so who you are and who they view you as can be quite separate. Only be spending some time rebuilding your sense of self will you be able to judge another person according to their view of who they think you are. This can be very important when choosing a partner and deciding whether somebody’s motives are honest, because if who they see you as being can sometimes be so utterly removed from the way you view yourself that it indicates bad intentions, or a mismatch of values and expectations.
So please take heed of what posters are telling you on this thread. many of us have travelled similar paths to you and come a cropper.