Would you leave you’re kids with someone Bi Polar?

[MonstranceClock]

A mum from school mentioned on the group chat today that a new child was starting school and their mother has bi polar, so not to leave our kids alone with her. We usually take turns picking each other’s kids up etc as we all work full time and don’t want to pay for after school club.
I’m bi polar, but have just never felt the need to tell anyone. No I’m thinking I should say something? A) because I want to stick up for the other mum and B) to prove a point that clearly they’d never know any different if they were already informed.
It’s really pissed me off. Aibu to say sonething? But then will I risk being ostracised from the group and my child losing friends.

You can say something without having to declare your personal medical information. You can say that you don’t agree with the person saying this about the other mum and call her out on discrimination.

yanbu to call her out, but you might BU to disclose your own diagnosis when you're not comfortable with doing so. Poor other mum, what a horrible thing for someone to do to her

I’d say something like ‘I’ll get to know the other mum and make a judgement just like I would with anyone else before leaving my child with her. I’m not going to base that in a diagnosis and I think you’re wrong to suggest that having bipolar disorder makes her a risk to children. It’s a very common illness and you probably know others with the same diagnosis without even realising it’

Or maybe suggest to the other parents that you all give her a chance. Poor woman

She may be very stable on her medication.

Wow, call this out for discrimination.
Also, have a word with someone at school, this could affect the child attending.
I'm not bipolar but have a friend who is, and she's a fantastic mum and totally trustworthy ito her illness.

Wow that’s horrible!
My OH has bi polar and there isn’t a person in the world I’d trust more with my children!!! (Obviously his is managed well with medication)

I can’t believe how judgemental some people can be without even getting to know someone

Wow that's awful.

I’m going to make friends with her. I’ve never had a fellow bi polar friend before. Everyone else can fuck off

The poor woman, what a nasty judgemental cow. Has any of the other parents replied?

I agree in telling the school about that because it is discrimination and could result in the child being bullied and isolated.
It is also I think a breach of the mothers privacy to share her medical information without her consent.

I wouldn't share medical info with soneobe do small minded but I would make a point that being bipolar doesn't make you incapable if caring for kids.

I'd leave my child with anyone who was safe to look after them.

I'd not be swayed by a diagnosis or a MH disorder but rather about whether it's controlled and they can manage the extra children and whether it would be fair to put them under that pressure.

One of my best friends has bi polar. She's medicated. You wouldn't know unless she disclosed it. She saved my ds life one day. I'm lucky she was there - bi polar or not.

I wouldn't say you are on the group of that's her attitude. But I would say oy don't be a cow or a more polite version of that.

Yes of course I would (leave my child with them). Lots of bipolar people have kids. They reach adulthood perfectly safely!

What does this silly moo think is going to happen?

talk about judgemental! I wouldn't share medical info because it's nobody's business to be honest but I would definitely stand up to her. For all you know, some of the other mothers feel similarly to you and just aren't comfortable being the one to speak out.

Group chat mum is a bitch.

Wow. My ex MIL had bi-polar. I wouldn't have had any issue at all leaving our kids with her (sadly she passed away before that was possible). What does this mother think is going to happen??

It’s incredibly inappropriate to be discussing someone’s medical history on the class WhatsApp group. Surely, you shouldn’t leave your child with any random from school you don’t know?

My friend is bipolar. I wouldn’t leave my kids with her, but that’s not because she’s bipolar! She just has no experience with children and would have no idea what to do with them.

I'm bpd but have heard similar things through the grapevine that have been said about me before. I'm very responsible and fully capable of keeping children safe. Been dojng it 9years it's so disappointing that some people still think like this. It's why people hide it irl. There are always a few who do struggle and might not be able to care for their own and other's kids but like you I'd be ignoring that other mum's bullshit attitude and getting to know her myself, because if her dc are in her care its probably fine. Some people!

My reply would be:
If I like and trust her I’ll happily leave my children with her, like with anyone let’s get to know her as a person first. Having a diagnosis of bipolar doesn’t mean she’s got symptoms right now, anymore than having a diagnosis of asthma would mean she was having an asthma attack right now. Both can be well managed, and bipolar relapses are less sudden in onset so less likely to hit mid play date.

I've got 2 close friends with bipolar, plus my MIL. One of the friends has a large family, and grandkids my kids ages. It has never crossed my mind that I shouldn't leave my kids with her, clearly not her children and children in law either. And I am the sort of fussy person who wouldn't send their child to nursery!
Whenever I leave the kids with anyone I check in my head (sometimes outloud) that we aren't asking to much of them but the three people above all have relationships with my children, who at lower primary are not aware of the diagnoses of other people.
Don't feel that you need to share your own diagnosis, clearly that mum has a stereotype that people with bipolar can't be trusted with children, you don't need to use your personal example to challenge this.

My MIL and my DH's closest friend are both Bi-Polar and I trust them both implicitly as I know them and I know they are honest about their position MH wise - meaning they'll tell me if they don't feel up to it on a particular day.

I think the person who said this needs to educate themselves but yes, I'd get to know the Mum they were commenting on and go from there! Sad that it's still so stigmatised that people would rather ostracise her than get to know her

The best mother I know is Bipolar, I would call her out

Nasty as fuck and cruel behaviour

Sabotaging her before she even starts.

That person needs a massive dressing down and if I was on that WA group I'd do it.

Can't you do the quote post thing and just simply write "You should be ashamed of yourself." Underneath?

Good grief, how completely unnecessary. I would ask how she has that information and then pass that onto the school and then perhaps say that is a very closed minded opinion. Or that's what I would like to say anyway!