Would you leave you’re kids with someone Bi Polar?

[MonstranceClock]

A mum from school mentioned on the group chat today that a new child was starting school and their mother has bi polar, so not to leave our kids alone with her. We usually take turns picking each other’s kids up etc as we all work full time and don’t want to pay for after school club.
I’m bi polar, but have just never felt the need to tell anyone. No I’m thinking I should say something? A) because I want to stick up for the other mum and B) to prove a point that clearly they’d never know any different if they were already informed.
It’s really pissed me off. Aibu to say sonething? But then will I risk being ostracised from the group and my child losing friends.

Good luck for tomorrow and I hope your new friendship goes well?

What a comeback OP!

Good for you.

I’d leave my kid with someone with bipolar before I’d leave them with a judgemental twat like the group chat mum.

My DM is bipolar and although there has been times in the past when she hasn’t been stable (mainly before/immediately after her diagnosis) nowadays she knows her own limits and wouldn’t offer/agree to take my kids if she couldn’t cope. I always give her a plan B or the option of shared responsibility, but she knows herself what she can and can’t manage.

Well done you!

You're a star, OP!

I'm looking forward to hearing what happens tomorrow!

What an awful, ignorant woman. It's her I wouldn't want to leave my kids with. I know two women who are bipolar. I'd have no hesitation in leaving my kids with either of them.

Please tell the dad not to say anything to new mum! That would be terrible

Good for you for challenging such nasty behaviour .

Absolutely in awe of you op for that response well done!

Good on that dad too. He already knows her so I’m sure he knows how to approach her and whether she’d want to know what’s being said of her.

@neverender - While what she said was frightening and upsetting she can’t help being ill and for all you know she is now being treated appropriately and is safe to care for children. are you qualified to assess the woman concerned? Is it your business to tell other people hers? No thought not.

@FineWordsForAPorcupine

Disability discrimination laws absolutely apply with mental illness as well as other medical conditions.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/disability-discrimination/#.Xhe8xySnzYU

I’ve successfully taken organisations to task myself because of discrimination. Sadly it’s still far too common.

Yes, I hope you can persuade the dad not to say anything to the new mum, how horrible for that to be one of her first interactions.

PomPoms to you for your message! I don't think I've ever seen anyone here say that they like confrontation, bloody good for you, we need more of that.

I suppose I missed the point a bit.

As with anyone, I would get to know a new mum at school before I would leave my kids with them.

Their diagnosis would be irrelevant.

I hope he doesn't tell her, too. On the first day, that would be terrible. I'd be devastated and would much rather be in ignorance at this point.

I would if I liked and trusted someone. Same as I would anybody.

Good for you, replying as you did, and I look forward to hearing her reply.

Whilst I'm glad the dad contacted you privately, what a shame he didn't say anything in the group chat to publicly call her out.

Have any of the other group members replied yet?

Ask the dad if a new WhatsApp group has been set up behind your back?

Wow OP great response. It's great that you've totally got this new Mum's back before even meeting her. What a nasty women to say that about her!

Graphista as a responsible parent I'm not going to leave my child with that person, or let my friends do so. Why would I? To save someone's feelings? Nah. i have priorities and they're my kids safety not the feelings of a stranger.

That's a terrible thing to say..
I think whoever said it has made herself look really ignorant & mean.

Fab response op! Well done! I would love to see her cats bum face

Well my mother is Bipolar and there is no way I'd leave my child with her but that's because she doesn't take any medication and is in complete denial. Maybe the woman who posted this has had a bad experience. Nevertheless it's a very bitchy and inappropriate thing to post her confidential medical info on a group chat.

Definitely call her out on it - as others have said, it's possible to do this without disclosing your MH if you feel more comfortable with that.

I'd be more concerned about leaving children in the care of the bigoted idiot, TBH - she sounds evil.

It’s awful they’re spreading her personal information and assuming having bipolar means she can’t take care of other people’s kids!

However, I wouldn’t leave my child in the care of somebody whose mental health is unstable! She may be stable on meds. Or she may be unwell. You don’t know until you meet her.

Is it possible other mums have picked up on erratic behaviours or signs of mania, grandiosity, pressured speech etc?
Or has she announced to the school mums she has bipolar?

One of my best friends has bipolar and is stable on lithium. She babysits for us a lot and is great with kids. But I do watch out for signs she’s becoming unwell again, for her sake as well as kids. In a manic phase she basically stops sleeping, becomes very impulsive, takes risks like running across roads, can’t stop talking and is disinhibited, eg telling strangers personal things about herself and leaving belongings in the street etc. She’s had long periods of hospitalisation and psychosis (common with bipolar episodes).

But when she’s well she’s as capable as looking after kids as anyone else. Many people don’t understand bipolar, it’s possible to be well and stable for many years between flare ups.

Well done OP!

I really hope the dad hasn't told this woman what has been said about her. No good will come from that at all.

Can people stop using BPD to describe bipolar that's a different mental condition, Borderline personality disorder

BPD no longer exists, it’s been re-named EUPD (emotionally unstable personality disorder). Or ComplexPTSD in a drive to reduce stigma. It’s very different to bipolar although Bipolar Type 2 (the milder form of bipolar) sometimes gets misdiagnosed as EUPD or vice versa.

Literally nothing in the chat. Dad has spoken to her, she’s doesn’t give a flying fuck which makes me truly believe we’re going to be good friends

My mum was schizophrenic. I remember the day a girl in my class said she wasn’t allowed to play with me because my mum was crazy. It was so horrid. To be fair, there were times when she was sick, I wouldn’t have wanted a child to have been around it but for 80% of the time she was lovely and perfectly capable.

Why would the dad tell her?

I'm bipolar. And raise my kids a damn sight better than other parents I've seen. And this is the exact reason like you OP that I don't feel the need to disclose it publicly.
I'm really feeling the love on this thread, which is great to see.

Why wouldn’t he? If a friend of mine knew that people had been slagging me off I’d want to know.