To think British folk don't tolerate "privileged complaining" like the US?

[GinDaddy]

yes this is another topic partially related to Duke/Duchess of Sussex. If you don't like this, apologies in advance

I read a thread on here titled "The racists have won" regarding Harry and Meghan's withdrawl from public life.

AIBU to have a different perspective entirely? That their thin-skinnedness and endless preaching about the issuesdrew more vitriol towards them - and their whole approach was very badly suited to British life?

Bear with me :

Yes as a mixed-race (white/caribbean) person, I winced at the "outta Compton" headlines that greeted the latest addition to the Firm. I despaired at the "blood-thickening" comments that were made about Meghan's heritage and any children.

I'm not suggesting that any of this could simply be overlooked, and for sure it has an impact on a person's mental health.

Yet it precipitated dozens of column inches and angry statements from Harry, with strange and emotive allusions to his mother's death. It triggered that dreadful ITV stuff where Meghan says her and Harry are "existing, not living" - a comment which was extraordinary when you consider some of the challenges British people face. (Who is advising these people here?!)

Such commentary may be described as "woke" in the US. It might be considered on-trend to speak out and stand up to such things.

However in the UK, I feel it's more a country of deeds not words . To borrow a cricket analogy, being in UK public life is a bit like Test cricket. You can't come out on the attack or you'll lose your wicket within the hour. Instead, you will get bouncers hurled at you for the first few sessions of your innings, and you have to bat time and survive, dig in, and then start to accumulate once you've seen off a few.

AIBU to think Harry and Meghan could have ridden all this out if they had quietly gone about public life, working on a few select British-focused charities, supporting those closest to succession, and simply following the Duchess of Cambridge approach? You might be "Waity Katy" when we first meet you, but in time you'll be accepted because it's the British way to take the piss, then quietly treat you as a mate once time has passed.

I might be VU here as I realise they've had a rougher ride than most. But all this emotion seems to have led them into a corner where they've lashed out.

AIBU to think it's kind of in the British culture not to endlessly hand-wring in public in this regard?

Read the MailOnline today, @Drizzzle, and then post again

Personlynot that interested in a Harry, Meghan etc - but the unadulterated bile of the reporting (even using f*ck in mainstream reporting) was astonishing.

I have never seen so much bile addressed even to, say, Jimmy Savile or Jeremy Corbyn or whoever

I do not see any evidence presented in your post or in reality that people in the US “tolerate privileged complaining”.

Why drag us into it?

UABU if you think that most Americans are tolerant of privileged complaining. There are "woke" Americans who will and do salivate at the opportunity to show just how enlightened they are, and then there are the masses of common sense, real-world folk who couldn't care less about Harry and Meghan-- but if they ever bother to spare them more than a passing thought, they won't be impressed by their tales of being hard-done-by, though they may take it less personally than their UK counterparts.

There's no more appetite in the US for "privileged complaining" than in the UK, on the whole.

I think it's virtually impossible for any of us to really understand what it's like to be in their situation. Yes, they don't have the everyday pressures or difficulties that many of us face, but they do face completely different pressures and difficulties which are very much their own. If they've had enough, then they've had enough. Why should they spend their lives unhappy just because of the family that Harry was born into?

Of course, if it was up to me there wouldn't be a royal family in the first place. I find the whole thing cringeworthy, out of touch and outdated.

*YABU if blah blah blah, not UABU

I'm not sure the majority of the US like privileged people complaining but the privileged people in the US are fine with people like themselves complaining

I think the US is generally better with people declaring themselves openly materialistic and focused on earning more. I don't think that's a sentiment the UK is comfortable hearing from multi-millionaires.

H&M have always focused more on the US media than the UK. At first that looked like an accident. Now it looks as though it was deliberate. The UK is just too small for their ambitions (philanthropic and financial).

@ILearnedItFromABook

Exactly. Besides, there’s hardly any “woke” culture in evidence the US unless you live on a university campus and only read Twitter.
You cannot understand modern American culture just by reading our news anymore than we can understand British sentiments by reading the daily mail.

Hell, “woke” itself is a term that is being appropriated from the black American culture by rich white young American.

@HannaYeah @ILearnedItFromABook

I can't produce a sheaf of press cuttings or TV reels to prove America is more tolerant of "woke preaching".

I can however direct you to Ricky Gervais' monologue this week at the Golden Globe awards, where he takes a pop at Hollywood for exactly that.

The joke wouldn't have been funny or got so many headlines if it wasn't on the money in some way - it's not without basis.

Harry will end up as a very sad Duke of Windsor character, alienated from his family - who can be ruthless - and surrounded by a dwindling circle of sycophants when his brilliant career fails to take off. And at least the Duke of W had Wallis who stuck by him. Meghan has history of dumping everyone who no longer serves her ambition and I'll be surprised if they're together in five years time. It says something about a person that they have no family/friends at their wedding.

They need to make a clean break and move away from all royal privileges- not this halfway house they are currently trying to negotiate.

A lot of people just hate the Royal Family and all that they stand for. And that is unearned privilege. Ie Privilege by inherited position. Personally, I am indifferent to the RF. I do not think they should be abolished, but think that ultimately, over time, they should lose some of their status as ‘special people’. Unfortunately, this will only happen when people stop lining the streets to watch them drive by (after their wedding for example).

I have not seen criticism that is overtly racist, but suspect that some of it is.

I admired (and still do) Meghan as someone who has actually worked for a living. Of course, acting is not the normal 9-5 job, but it is highly competitive, so she has done well to obtain a part in a series. (I have not watched ‘Suits’ myself, so no idea what it is like).

This compares to Kate who was described as ‘waitey Kaity’, because she never had a job at all (apart from doing some unspecified work for her parents company)

Personally, I think they made lots of mistakes. First, the treatment of Thomas Markle. It would have been far better if Harry had met him before the wedding, which could have been arranged privately before they were engaged. I also think there were some other relatives that maybe should have been invited to the wedding apart from the mother, and I don’t necessarily mean the horrible half-sister. (I think there were some uncles?)

I think in the UK, it does not really go down very well, for rich members of the Royal Family to lecture people about climate change, while taking private jets yourself to baby showers, etc. Especially when they are being funded by the tax payer (whether directly or indirectly).

In my view, the bad press would have blown over, if they had accepted the advice of palace officials in how to handle things, which is basically keep quiet. Of course, no one likes to read bad things about themselves, but it is mainly the same people over and over again.

My advice would have been to avoid ALL social media, and appoint someone to handle your own social stuff like twitter of whatever it is. And keep all your speeches totally bland.

I'm sympathetic because she received terrible abuse. Although all prospective partners of the royal family seem to receive a lot of abuse on joining and then if they last the distance it seems to settle down. It doesn't make it right but at least she must have known it would be coming.

I agree their unique position means they could have done other things, for example scholarships for BAME journalists, awards for environmentalists etc, etc... Before he was married I thought Harry was doing this well through the Invicta games, which was inspired.

I'm surprised they seem to feel they can keep the cottage and the protection and the Duchy of Cornwall money without doing the work.

If it is true that they have pressed the nuclear button without proper consultation then that's really sad and problematic.

I've always been a bit suspicious of Maghan. It seemed she burned her boats with her step siblings, her father and her ex husband. The aggression between them all seemed too great for her to have just been the victim. Her past seems strewn with angry people who she seems to have discarded.

To be honest I can't help feeling a bit sorry for Harry. I might be wrong but I think he's married a difficult, controlling woman who has gone NC with most of her family and will end up making him do the same with his. What will happen to Harry when she decides she's had enough of him?

I like Meghan - I do think the coverage has been racist and her families behaviour has been vile.

However - the interview where they were just surving was massively insensitive considered where they'd been touring and fact many people in Britain are really struggling relting on food banks and rising in all types of homelessness.

I also agree the working towards financial independence doesn't sound great - it may be a refernces to security needed but I do wonder if some of the more negative suggtions may have a point.

They need better PR people - I'm not sure that's on Megan despite her career background - could easily be more Winsor arrogance or just people not coping and making more and more bad decisions.

I don't know enough about amercian culture to say if, as you suggest it's cultural differnce, that isn't translating well.

I used to think they needed better PR people but actually they have had some amazingly experienced PR staff. I've come to the conclusion that they ignore them. Apparently, they didn't even tell their UK PR team that they were going to release the statement last night. You can't create a coherent and effective PR strategy if the subjects keep going off on their own.

Exactly, Summers. Think Queenie should give them a little push in that direction. He comes across as a spoilt brat who feels hard done by.

Ricky Gervais’ scolding of them was hilarious because it annoys the living daylights out of normal Americans that Hollywood people believe we care anything about what they think. They think their success in entertaining us means they are smarter than average and we need them to tell us how to live and vote.

You cannot take anything you see on tv as evidence of attitudes or opinions here. Hollywood does not reflect reality.

I don’t think we can judge their reaction to racist comments and the like - you do whatever you want in the face of bullying, which is what it is. The media are awful sometimes. People can be cruel.

However this latest move seems to be about money and living in the US part time and freedom to do what they want but still be HRH. I don’t think that is compatible.

As we saw at their wedding, Meghan doesn't feel obliged beholden to people who are related to her. She has probably found this close knit, overwhelming family with all that comes with it, too much.

Look at her wedding day. Only her mum there and I believe she used to live with her dad? She has a very dysfunctional family and is very independent. She probably wants to be as far away from the royals as possible. I can't blame her. I still think Harry is behind all this though.

They've decided not to have their entire lives dictated to them by what is essentially a corporation and the managers of that corporation whilst being judged and/or slagged off in every thing they do.

They are handsomely recompensed for what they do.

And even thought they say they are not going total money from the public purse any more, they are hardly on the bones of their arses - and all of Harry's wealth comes from being a member of a ridiculously privileged family.

Apparently they still want police protection paid for, though - and will be prepared to undertake some public duties, but will expect to be paid for them. . Why can't they do some public duties in return for their police protection? Greedy buggers! Police forces all over are being cut, but they effectively have their own private force.

When Harry and Meghan got married I thought "Oooh! SHe's lovely! What a breath of fresh air she will bring." But it seems that she is spoilt and entitled and has influenced him to become the same way.

I do think it's about time the lot of them were consigned to a box in the attic, though.

Oh look, yet another MM and Harry bashing thread.

This site is absolutely pathetic at the moment..complete and utter witch hunt.

In fairness, I can't think of a better example of classism, elitism, jingoism, pompous little island mentality and yes, racism, than this site at the moment.

As an aside OP, being mixed race or non Caucasian doesn’t mean you can’t be racist.

I understand what you're saying. There is this thing with we Brits (but probably not exclusive to us) that if you're rich you must be happy, everything in the garden is wonderful so don't complain. Rich people feel pain too, cut them and they bleed, etc.

Ariadne I don't doubt that some papers are writing horrible things, but I find it odd when people say that those articles are the reason they want to move move abroad.

@Esspee

I get that; thank you. I'm not a racist though. Never have been.

As someone said up thread. What happens to Harry when she gets fed up with him. Prince Charles must be worried sick about all of this.