To think British folk don't tolerate "privileged complaining" like the US?

[GinDaddy]

yes this is another topic partially related to Duke/Duchess of Sussex. If you don't like this, apologies in advance

I read a thread on here titled "The racists have won" regarding Harry and Meghan's withdrawl from public life.

AIBU to have a different perspective entirely? That their thin-skinnedness and endless preaching about the issuesdrew more vitriol towards them - and their whole approach was very badly suited to British life?

Bear with me :

Yes as a mixed-race (white/caribbean) person, I winced at the "outta Compton" headlines that greeted the latest addition to the Firm. I despaired at the "blood-thickening" comments that were made about Meghan's heritage and any children.

I'm not suggesting that any of this could simply be overlooked, and for sure it has an impact on a person's mental health.

Yet it precipitated dozens of column inches and angry statements from Harry, with strange and emotive allusions to his mother's death. It triggered that dreadful ITV stuff where Meghan says her and Harry are "existing, not living" - a comment which was extraordinary when you consider some of the challenges British people face. (Who is advising these people here?!)

Such commentary may be described as "woke" in the US. It might be considered on-trend to speak out and stand up to such things.

However in the UK, I feel it's more a country of deeds not words . To borrow a cricket analogy, being in UK public life is a bit like Test cricket. You can't come out on the attack or you'll lose your wicket within the hour. Instead, you will get bouncers hurled at you for the first few sessions of your innings, and you have to bat time and survive, dig in, and then start to accumulate once you've seen off a few.

AIBU to think Harry and Meghan could have ridden all this out if they had quietly gone about public life, working on a few select British-focused charities, supporting those closest to succession, and simply following the Duchess of Cambridge approach? You might be "Waity Katy" when we first meet you, but in time you'll be accepted because it's the British way to take the piss, then quietly treat you as a mate once time has passed.

I might be VU here as I realise they've had a rougher ride than most. But all this emotion seems to have led them into a corner where they've lashed out.

AIBU to think it's kind of in the British culture not to endlessly hand-wring in public in this regard?

FWIW I'd get rid of the lot of them tomorrow.

as for H&M, they don't have to put up with vile abuse. He's, what? 7th in line to the throne? He's not going to be a king. He doesn't want to end up a spare part like Margaret (Her behaviour was shocking) or Andrew so he tries to do something a bit different. Good for him. He was an arse as a young man but the army seemed to have slapped some shape into him.

The reason they need so much security is because of the weird obsession the Brits (and others) have with that flipping overpriveliged family. Enough already. They should have already slimmed the "working royals" down a lot (direct line only) and cut the rest loose.

That said: it is perfectly ok not to be happy with your life (esp in view of the vile abuse) and talk about it. We are all different and even the wealthy can be depressed etc.

The fallacy of relative privation applies here: if H&M can't complain because they're wealthy, if you follow that thinking to its logical conclusion the only person on the planet who can complain about their lot is the one who is worst off at that time. Everyone else can shut up because there is at least one person worse off than them. Which is obvs complete bollocks.

I'd much much rather have financial issues than live like they do in the public eye constantly with a nasty press literally photoshopping their pictures to make them look bad. I'd probably have a break down. If you think privilege is all about money you're an idiot.

@GoodbyeRosie

Goodness! I am not mindlessly bashing Harry and Meghan.

I am asking for a debate on whether British public life tends to favour those who aren't publicly posturing and preaching at people.

It's an interesting and timely topic (well 100s of others think so at least) and I think there's some room to discuss M&H's strategy and approach to British public life, considering that they have

• spent a total of 1 1/2 years in public service as a couple, much of that abroad. One and a half years.

• Have majored on reactive, seething statements to the Press rather than owning any debate in a positive and proactive way.

• Are looking to "share their time between UK and US" and still claim a part in Royal life (sussexroyal.com etc) despite having failed to consult their line manage of the Firm (Prince Charles) or their chairman/CEO (the Queen).

I think there's something to be discussed there, and I am not interested in pouring vitriol on them, just examining whether their approach was ever right for British public life.

I am asking for a debate on whether British public life tends to favour those who aren't publicly posturing and preaching at people.

Yes, I think that's true. If they posture and preach whilst being ghastly hyprocrites, that's even worse, and most intelligent Brits simply won't stand for it. Which is a big part of what has happened here.

Honestly I think the press in the UK is absolutely toxic. Its felt like a witch hunt for Harry and Meghan since day one. Criticizing them became a national obsession. Congrats to all on driving them out.

I think it's one thing when regular celebrities complain. As a member of the public I can choose not to spend my money on things they are connected with if I think they are being ridiculous or ignorant.

It's another thing when members of the Royal Family complain because I pay for them, as does everyone else, whether I wish to or not. So it doesn't feel right because of that. I think Harry and Megan have brought a lot of ire on themselves with this recent announcement as it created the impression, rightly or wrongly, that they intended to be half in and half out and that we will have to foot the bill for some indefinite time period. The phrase 'work towards financial independence' was extremely poorly chosen.

I think Megan and Harry have had to deal with a lot of racist abuse and that cannot be denied.

But at the same time, I think that something like this was always going to happen as I think Megan was never a good fit for the Royal family and not because she is mixed race - but because of her personality. She's an actress and someone who spent much of her life striving for celebrity. It was unrealistic to ever expect her to be happy sitting in a carriage passively waving at people.

The whole royal family set up is very unhealthy mentally for anybody. Your whole life is on show, no real free choices or ability to do what you actually want. You have the role from birth regardless as to whether or not you have the aptitude or intelligence for it. I remember when Megan got engaged lots of people going on about what a dream it was and how lovely, and all I could think that if it were a daughter of mine marrying Harry I'd be heartbroken knowing what that life is like.

Frankly the whole Monarchy has to go. It's a totally daft institution these days. We've all seen behind the curtain now, it's not like Tudor times when we thought they were appointed by God. Now it all seems so silly.

I don't think their approach was ever geared to British public life. It was targeted to a certain section of the US which enjoys privilege, loves stories of outsiders and celebrates a desire for independent wealth.

I don't think the public's opinion has much to do with how Harry and Meghan behave.

Rather, the way the Royal couple are behaving is as a direct result of the way the press has vilified them. They are clearly devastated at the way they have been falsely portrayed and their actions have been to try and rectify this.

The public can only base their opinions on what and how things are reported in the press. The general public cannot be expected to know whether reports are true, false, twisted or otherwise. Likewise, most journalists are also reporting second hand accounts, hearsay and gossip. Put someone like Piers Morgan at the forefront of the media and it doesn't take long for him to have everyone believing his vitriol and reporting his silly opinions as if they are their own or fact!

What a knob-head!

Good on them. Why live with all this criticism and vitriol. Just buggar off and be happy and leave the trolls to it.
I can see William and Kate doing similar in the future. It isn't worth the effort.

Honestly I think the press in the UK is absolutely toxic. Its felt like a witch hunt for Harry and Meghan since day one. Criticizing them became a national obsession. Congrats to all on driving them out

I agree Banantaffy

FreakStar
What reports among those which have damaged the public's opinion of Harry and Meghan were false?

I wonder who will get picked on now. It was Kate, then Meghan, who now?

The British don’t like a whinger; the stiff upper lip is a stereotype for a reason. They like the plucky underdog, the gritty never say die attitude. Rightly or wrongly that’s why there is so much derision for the so called snowflake generation.

As a disabled person I see it all the time. Keep up the chirpy mustn’t grumble facade and people have all the time in the world for you. Let down your guard and have a well deserved moan and people really don’t want to know.

They’ve been terribly advised on media handling etc

Ah yes - the whipping boy gambit
Funny, isn't it, that anything done right is presented as the result of the RF's brilliance, and anything less savoury is down to their advisers

You're very insightful, @GinDaddy, and I believe you've made some important and valid points. However if I may say so, it's also just as well you mentioned that you're a PoC ... because otherwise, this being MN, you'd probbly have been slaughtered

@annualleavepurchase
@BovaryX
@GinDaddy
@AgeLikeWine

Totally agree with your comments!!

@agelikewine I agree with you.

"@GoodbyeRosie

Goodness! I am not mindlessly bashing Harry and Meghan."

The goes on to mindlessly bash Harry and Meghan some more.
Basically you are accusing them of posturing , and make many, many more barbed and snidey comments.

You are quite clearly liking the sound of your own voice here, and lapping up the attention.

You don't actually care that they are real people that haven't done anything wrong do you? They just haven't behaved in the way you want the Royal Family to be have, so you've started yet another bashing thread. It's pathetic .

I can see William and Kate doing similar in the future.

I can't.

I did like the pair and wished them well. Now I don't. Most people I know, including my family, are struggling. I'm not remotely interested in their hardships, I'd take those now this minute over mine, and I'm sure that a lot of people who renovated their fucking cottage feel the same.

Let them go. They're independently wealthy, each in their own right, already. They can go away and simply not come back. Now I see them as freeloaders, so fuck 'em.

I think this was always the plan

I must have been living under a rock @GinDaddy because although I read the Mail online and the broadsheets as hard copies, this attack on MM and H has passed me by.

The worst I've seen are readers' comments in the Mail but nothing else.

I don't read the Red Tops, so I'd be grateful if anyone could enlighten me on what I've missed because I cannot see any justification for what they are complaining about.

Surely Kate had as much to complain about when she was called Waity Katy and they droned on forever about her Mum being nouveau riche and 'doors to manual/?

Well maybe, but the press killed his mum so I can forgive him for wanting to protect his wife and child from a similar fate

Well maybe, but the press killed his mum so I can forgive him for wanting to protect his wife and child from a similar fate
@Fatasfooook Oh God, we aren't still banging on about that?

No, a drunken driver and not wearing a seat belt killed his mum.
The person who lived in that crash wore his seat belt.