To think British folk don't tolerate "privileged complaining" like the US?

[GinDaddy]

yes this is another topic partially related to Duke/Duchess of Sussex. If you don't like this, apologies in advance

I read a thread on here titled "The racists have won" regarding Harry and Meghan's withdrawl from public life.

AIBU to have a different perspective entirely? That their thin-skinnedness and endless preaching about the issuesdrew more vitriol towards them - and their whole approach was very badly suited to British life?

Bear with me :

Yes as a mixed-race (white/caribbean) person, I winced at the "outta Compton" headlines that greeted the latest addition to the Firm. I despaired at the "blood-thickening" comments that were made about Meghan's heritage and any children.

I'm not suggesting that any of this could simply be overlooked, and for sure it has an impact on a person's mental health.

Yet it precipitated dozens of column inches and angry statements from Harry, with strange and emotive allusions to his mother's death. It triggered that dreadful ITV stuff where Meghan says her and Harry are "existing, not living" - a comment which was extraordinary when you consider some of the challenges British people face. (Who is advising these people here?!)

Such commentary may be described as "woke" in the US. It might be considered on-trend to speak out and stand up to such things.

However in the UK, I feel it's more a country of deeds not words . To borrow a cricket analogy, being in UK public life is a bit like Test cricket. You can't come out on the attack or you'll lose your wicket within the hour. Instead, you will get bouncers hurled at you for the first few sessions of your innings, and you have to bat time and survive, dig in, and then start to accumulate once you've seen off a few.

AIBU to think Harry and Meghan could have ridden all this out if they had quietly gone about public life, working on a few select British-focused charities, supporting those closest to succession, and simply following the Duchess of Cambridge approach? You might be "Waity Katy" when we first meet you, but in time you'll be accepted because it's the British way to take the piss, then quietly treat you as a mate once time has passed.

I might be VU here as I realise they've had a rougher ride than most. But all this emotion seems to have led them into a corner where they've lashed out.

AIBU to think it's kind of in the British culture not to endlessly hand-wring in public in this regard?

What do you mean by ‘doesn't work’, though, OP? What is it you think they were trying to do and failed to achieve?

He's going to stop taking taxpayer money, so where's the issue?

But he's not, is he..? I somehow seriously doubt whether the security of this family will be left to them to sort out (& no, it shouldn't be) but it'll cost a lot to maintain the sort of security detail that will be required - and it'll be taxpayer's money that pays it.
Then there's the £28m refurb of their present home - is that going to be lived in by someone else, or will it be empty for 50 weeks a year (all heating and staff paid for by us) waiting for them to vacation there...?
I don't mind where they live - wherever makes them happy - but to pretend that they're going to completely support themselves financially is just pulling the wool over our eyes.

I think you are right, the woke nonsense is the problem.

I am absolutely fed up with people travelling the world to tell me not to travel. The whole Greta thing was ridiculous as her wanderings created a huge carbon footprint. Travelling by train has a reduced carbon footprint, but it still has one. Similarly, the "Sussex Eco Warriors" now intending to save the planet by running homes in two continents and travelling between them. But they are carefully reassuring us that it won't be by private jet! I honestly think that celebrities like them think that flying scheduled airlines is carbon free.

I am having a very unproductive working from home day so I'm off to the BA site to book holiday flights to cheer me up!

@Pluckedpencil

"I think if I had the choice of hanging out in Hollywood with my rich mates and telling the media to go fuck themselves or pretending to be perfect for the British press and living in complete isolation from anyone except other members of court, I'd choose the former as well!!"

I agree with you, I probably would as well!

However I, ever the cynic, think Meghan in particular has used the Royal Family like some kind of Saturn V booster rocket to propel her to the moon in terms of notoriety and coverage.

She's not simply leaving one job and lifestyle for another - she's forcibly extricating herself, and a person with succession to the throne, from a lifelong commitment. That's not just a simple "switch" in my book - it's taking a role of quiet duty and public service, and tearing it up in front of the British people who you in theory are meant to serve, without informing the family that took you in so to speak.

Everyone keeps saying Meghan had her own money. I'm sure she made a few million from Suits, maybe four or five million. She could never however have achieved global, instant name recognition on her previous trajectory.

Now she can return to Hollywood as a modern talk figure, a mononym , a global name.

So to me it's not simply a casual switch made by someone with no attachments to their previous work etc.

They’ve been terribly advised on media handling etc. After the Andrew stuff, we’ve been debating in our house how the royals have got PR so wrong and concluded their staff must be in a bubble too. So, you have Megan and harry being a bit deluded being advised by someone else who isn’t really in touch and then you have a PR disaster. How could they not see that trotting out the line about financial independence was going to go badly when they are already far wealthier than 99% of the country will ever be.

Up till yesterday, I thought that the Harry and Megham pr gaffs were a concerted effort to take the heat off Andrew.

They are extremely privileged but have chosen to walk away from their duties.

This would not bother me IF

• they had had the decency to first discuss this with the Queen, Charles and William, and come to a formal and workable agreement;
• And if they had renounced their titles and HRH status.

As it is they seem to want to have their cake and eat it.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when HM discusses this with Charles...

However I, ever the cynic, think Meghan in particular has used the Royal Family like some kind of Saturn V booster rocket to propel her to the moon in terms of notoriety and coverage.
Cynical plus misogynist, plus monumentally insulting to her husband. Do you think he's a hapless idiot who's been duped by this wicked woman?

I refer you to Ricky Gervaise, OP, he summed it up nice!y.

I wonder how long it will be until they publish a book detailing their (and other royals life's)

I can see it now. It will have them and Archie dressed casually on the cover and be entitled 'Our Royal life'

I think it's naive to think that the public reaction to them was based on their behaviour and and how that resonates with British culture more than because the press took a certain stance and the British public at large are extremely, EXTREMELY influenced by and manipulated by the tabloid media.

As Age said, it's the hypocrisy that is the issue. How are they going to take fewer flights if they have two homes that far apart? How are they going to make money without using the angle of being Royalty to do it - who would be interested otherwise?

If they had waited, sorted out the details and then announced it I think they'd have got a very different response. Yet again, they've blown it though. They are their own worst enemies.

"Do you think he's a hapless idiot who's been duped by this wicked woman?"

Yes.

I think this was her game plan all along

she wants to be an even better version of Angelina Jolie, beautiful and revered and charitable and hanging out with super A-listers only.

She knew what she wanted and went out to get it.

Hard as nails. She is getting what she wants.

Harry seems to have more of a price to pay, but who knows, maybe he was fed up of the responsibilities too and wants to live a luxury millionaire a-lister life style, without the boring obligations as well.

I feel sorry for the Queen, really

UK: "If Harry and Meghan don't like it they should just leave."

Harry and Meghan leave.

UK: HOW DARE THEY LEAVE

🤣

@ChickenyChick

Exactly this. Agreed.

"Do you think he's a hapless idiot who's been duped by this wicked woman?"
Yes.

Then I can only say again, you're a misogynist and you're insulting her husband's judgement and intelligence too.

She knew what she wanted and went out to get it.
Hard as nails.
Same goes for this.

Her interview suggesting she had a hard time would not have gone down too well with people who hardly have enough to eat and was a pretty awful performance. The fact they both rejected certain norms which allow the UK citizens and royalty to enjoy or tolerate each other was not a good move - no showing the baby as they left the hospital etc. It just seemed a bit unfair to change the rules, disrupt things, not play along with how things work here but that is as much because he married someone who is not from the UK than anything about her skin colour.

I hope they are very happy. He is only 6th in line to the throne so none of it really matters but ehy have obviously chosen to create a massive rift with his family, something sadly his wife seems to have with much of hers too which is never nice in any families at all and that is the saddest thing of all. They could have done it all a lot more quietly. I also don't see why they couldn't have spent Christmas with the Queen who won't have long to live at all now - it just seems very cruel indeed and not something most people in the UK would do.

OP you have a point about the woke preaching

see Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes

@PicsInRed have they left though? Have they given up their titles, paid back the money for their wedding and house renovation? Moved out of their home?

Or do they just want their cake and to eat it too?

They’ve been terribly advised on media handling etc. After the Andrew stuff, we’ve been debating in our house how the royals have got PR so wrong and concluded their staff must be in a bubble too.

I'm not sure they've been taking any advice from the palace PR people and that's the problem - they've been deciding between themselves what to say and when without any guidance at all. That's why their relationship with the press has been so fractious and gaffe-prone. Just look at the members of the RF who do take advice - they say nothing! Kate Middleton never rose to the bait that the press laid for her - she said nothing and it all blew over quite quickly - but Harry and Meghan have taken every bit of bait and tried to defend themselves and it's been an unmitigated disaster.

Good riddance to them, I say. But if they're going to go, they should go 100%. No more public funding, no more HRH titles, no more royal protection officers, just a quiet, private life, if that's what they want. And above all, no cashing in on their royal connections.

Oh wait... OP is crazy. I should've known.

I think Harry and Meghan are still a bit guilty of wanting to have Thierry cake and eat it. They want the fame, the privilege, the money, the titles. They also want freedom and t have their own careers and to be “financially independent”.

That said a modern modern “normal” woman like Markle was never, ever going to fit in with the Royals. Kate wanted the fame and privilege and was happy to adopt the bizarre lifestyle that does with it. Markle wanted the good bits but not the bizarre lifestyle. Though I’ve not doubt that st least some of the criticism has been fueled by racism.

DarlingNikita, why is my statement misogynist? Getting what you want , and being hard as nails, is not a female characteristic.

at all

You are not wrong to say that their reaction was completely wrong. But of course some of the things said about them were completely unacceptable. But then again think about some of the things the press had going about Kate in her time. And yet now they love her. It probably would have been fine if Megan had assimilated into the Royal family but clearly she didn’t want to. Even then their reaction was very undignified when they could have just quietly retreated out of the limelight and lived their lives however they wanted.