Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

569 replies

Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 07:33

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

OP posts:
FreshOrangeClementine · 09/01/2020 08:52

My five / six year old went and enjoyed it, the other little boys in his school class were very rude.
We just have too much on to continue, which is a shame,
Go and ignore them.

Divebar · 09/01/2020 08:54

But it’s about artistic expression and story telling too.... it’s not just about physical prowess. ( there’s nothing wrong with either by the way).

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 09/01/2020 08:56

@LaMarschallin OP answered that at 07.58

If the lad enjoys it, OP, then let him crack on and use the naysayers for practicing your head tilt

Divebar · 09/01/2020 08:59

Now I’m watching ballet clips when I should be going to work!!!!

GoldfishRampage · 09/01/2020 08:59

OP,
My two sones tried ballet for a bit but didn't really enjoy it so stopped. I can't think that anyone commented.

I wonder if the reason so many people have commented to you is because they are teasing you and looking at a way to wind you up - something they have achieved.

CoraPirbright · 09/01/2020 08:59

The only thing you can do is ignore the toss pots. Such a stupid attitude.

Ballet is fantastic for strength, balance, building lean muscles etc. I would query the ‘sport’ definition but I would definitely say that ballet dancers are akin to the best athletes in the world due to the physical training being so tough and their being so perfectly attuned to what is required of their bodies.

If the morons commenting are football fans, maybe you could make some sort of retort regarding that it didn’t seem to do Rio Ferdinand any harm!

jay55 · 09/01/2020 09:03

I agree it is art not sport but you can certainly compete.
Whether at local dance festivals or the prix de Lausanne.

notacooldad · 09/01/2020 09:04

hocatoo
You seem very het up about it!
To be fair, people are mocking her son. I can understand why she is upset.

Emmelina · 09/01/2020 09:05

A friend teaches ballet. She doesn’t currently have any boys in her classes but it’s not for lack of trying. She’s beyond frustrated trying to advertise the fact boys do ballet too, and in fact are necessary in most shows!
DD’s both go to a theatre school once a week. DS wasn’t interested which is fine, though if he was drawn in by what his sisters are doing in the evenings he’d be welcome to give it a go. But they have so few boys (partly) because of the ridiculous stereotype that the only men who like musical theatre must be gay Hmm it means many of the girls have to take male parts in their productions.

As long as the children are enjoying themselves does it really matter?

Dietcokeaddiction · 09/01/2020 09:06

Ignore them.
DD has done ballet since she was 3. I assumed she would stop at 4 since no one in our family has any coordination but she's still doing it at 17! Her muscle strength is very impressive.
But all the boys who she had lessons with (there were 3 over the years, mostly slightly older than her) are now dancing in shows in London. They were snapped up at 11 to go to dance school.

schoolcats · 09/01/2020 09:09

YANBU at all, though it's not a sport, it's an art - and a very demanding one at the higher levels.

I do wonder if you are calling it a sport because you think it makes it more acceptable to other people for your son to do it. Ignore what others think, if your son likes it then he likes it.

farseabouttinsel · 09/01/2020 09:09

Not surprised you are ranty but just ignore these people!

My 7yo does tap and street dance - didn't want to do ballet as unfortunately he thought it was just for girls as no boys in his year went, but I would have encouraged it 100%...

If he carries on with it he will always get a great part in the shows & what have you as the ratio of boys to girls is rubbish (my daughter does ballet)

I'd let it go - just change the world the way you are & look surprised when you get these comments - in the same way you would if someone suggested it was odd that your child reads books or kicks a ball.

Ballet is a fantastic exercise to do in conjunction with many other sports - as it encourages strength, balance, control, co-ordination, flexibility, moving your feet - crucial skills for football, rugby, tennis, etc etc. People who think it's ridiculous are the stupid ones.

LaMarschallin · 09/01/2020 09:09

@LaMarschallin OP answered that at 07.58

Yes, I noticed that when the OP pointed it out (thank you for reiterating though) and thought I'd apologised then. Couldn't have pressed "post" - maybe I'm not as awake at 07:58am as I should be.

OP, my apology said that I was sorry that I hadn't read your posts more fully and I see why you thought of ballet for him. I hope he continues to enjoy it.

I still think the idea of involving the police here is very silly indeed.

Will definitely "post" this (I hope Smile) and get some caffeine in me.

Bansku19 · 09/01/2020 09:10

I took ds to baby ballet. He ended up running back and forth at the back of the class room. He had fun even though he didn't really join the ballet at all. Now he is 9 and not interested in dancing.

bluebella4 · 09/01/2020 09:13

That's their ignorance don't let it make you loose focus!! You're given your child the best chance in a cruel world. Dont waste your time with ignorance.

My son does irish dancing (he bloody loves it) I've had a few looks one actually comment from a 36 year old man who seriously struggles to deal with a nappy change and take care of more than one of his children at one time because he'd prefer to play with his phone!
I name him well known dancers and comment their achievements and net worth, then question his achievements. He has fuck all to say. They soon get back in their box!

KatyCarrCan · 09/01/2020 09:13

At least some of the laughs will be at the thought of any 18-month-old doing ballet.

But, you need to develop a thicker skin. There are a lot of people who support sexist stereotypes so you and your DS will get a reaction whenever you challenge them. If it's going to upset you so much, you might need to think a bit more about what you do.

My DS is older now but he spent lots of time arguing with people at school about whether boys could use purple and pink pens Hmm ; could watch My Little Pony Hmm ; could go to a dance class Hmm ; could do acting without being gay Hmm etc, etc. It goes on and on and is actively encouraged by their parents. One dad told his DS to tell my DS that I was wrong to tell him there were no such things as boys and girls activities.
That's what you're up against. For your blood pressure and your DS' confidence, you need to toughen up and face it out.

midnightmisssuki · 09/01/2020 09:16

You’re surprised by this reaction? Im surprised by that.

Ponoka7 · 09/01/2020 09:18

I think like yoga and meditation there will be a shift in attitude.

Most young men who would have laughed at both, but got into Martial Arts, come to realise how valuable they are.

Those whose dream it is to train in Thailand and research it, find out that both are given as much time, if not more, as the actual fighting training.

Gyms are starting to offer strength classes based on ballet, again it's those, interested in weight lifting that are taking them up (both sexes).

I weight lift and so do my DD's, there's still a stigma to that and a lot of comments, even from other male gym goers. They do their best to hog the weights and force the women to only use the 'women's' weights.

Peterspotter · 09/01/2020 09:21

I wouldn’t go in to ballet because you class it as a sport. It’s not considered one especially at this stage as it’s just an activity they enjoy - like football or swimming. The only competitiveness he will encounter will be if he makes the dance squad.

If that’s your only reason for taking him your barking up the wrong tree.

It’s funny that female ballet dancers never get called athletes though. I have one in my family that been doing it since she was four. Ive seen the state her feet get in too and the pressure she has to keep her body a certain way, so I know it’s physically demanding.

The wheat soon gets cut from the chaff much later on when their bodies are much stronger and able to take the demands that training will bring. Only a few only ever really make it. And that’s not even counting in height and body shape - which does play a huge factor in boys too.

Ballet is amazing and will 100% him in coordination and body movement with in other recognised sports.

But at this stage whilst they look like baby elephants trampling about - it’s just an activity he enjoys - so what. Ignore them

LaMarschallin · 09/01/2020 09:21

I still think the idea of involving the police here is very silly indeed.

Oh god!

Was thinking of another thread and added that without thinking which thread I was replying to first.

I would say "please ignore that" but do ridicule me if you want.
It was a mad mistake Smile

Memo to me: don't post when not fully awake.

MarieFromStTropez · 09/01/2020 09:22

I would love for my DS to do ballet. He is lithe and strong and I think he'd be brilliant at it.

Take no notice of these people.

Justkeeprollingalong · 09/01/2020 09:23

And today's idiotic remark award goes to @stouffer

'As long as he chins a posh kid at the audition then it’s fine.'

Iknewyouwerewaitingforme · 09/01/2020 09:25

Its a brilliant thing for him to do and also boys are so needed in classes to give girls the chance to have a male partner. Just think of the very handsome and masculine Patrick Swayze- that's how he originally made it!

Drabarni · 09/01/2020 09:27

Of course it's not right to poke fun, but are you really surprised.
The girls were awful to my ds2 when he used to dance, most lads give up when mates at school find out.

Why do you think it's a sport?

BirdintheWings · 09/01/2020 09:27

Well, yes, Bovary, that was my point - that a mediocre boy who enjoys dance should be able to keep doing it.

Just countering the feeling of ‘Let him try, because after all he might be the next Billy Elliott’. It doesn’t matter whether he is.

DS stopped after GCSEs and misses that all-over physical fitness and focus.