Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

[Boyscandoballettoo]

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

THEN USE THE WORD BALLET!!!!
Then you will avoid confusion.

And actually there were lots of conversations about dance in general.

To be fair, it’s only you who’s confused.

I'm not confused alsohuman
Semantics matter and it's really not difficult to be clear.

The problem is trewser got on her high horse by proclaiming dance ( dance, not ballet) cannot be considered a sport because of her daughter's very limited experience....and let not get started on her opinions about how physically demanding dance is ( or isn't because her daughter or friends don't look like athletes)
Just another MN expert who actually knows fuck all about what she's talking about.

I got on my high horse? 🤣

Pot, meet kettle.

Op. My boy started today. He has been asking to go loves dancing and has been practising with his sister til old enough. He is thrilled with his leotard and dance leggings. Family on our end are making digs and don't get it. It was a class full of girls and everyone thought he was a bit of a novelty I think. I am programmed to calmly repeat how much strength ballet builds and how much he loves dancing. He can do whatever he wants as long as he loves it. Wears a bit thin doesn't it OP.

My nephew does dancing.

He's competed in regional national and international comps. He's won many local dance comps. He's even recently be signed to an agency and will be appearing in a well known tv drama series soon.

I've never even considered he shouldn't because he's a boy. He's good at what he does. 🤷‍♀️

I'd say to them that if they can't be supportive then they can't be part of your ds life. Leave it up to them.

My husband ended up being a professional ballet dancer until an. Injury in his twenties. He still says that they’re the strongest men he’s ever met.

He also lied about it all through school through shame and says once the other kids found out when he was 14 he considered killing himself a few times because they made his life hell.

Very sad to see how little progress has been made.

Our dance school posted a great meme along the lines of...

Your boy wants to do ballet? What are you worried about, that he's going to be fit, healthy and surrounded by women?

Which pretty much sums it up I think...

Did someone really just compare ballet to piano playing?!

In the sense that both of them are part of the arts, yes.

And no, I don't think ballet is a sport. For what that's worth.

@CosmoK

I completely understand what you are saying: some posters are saying categorically that dance is not a sport, rather than ballet is not. And actually some types of dance are defined as a sport so it’s better for posters to be specific with the debate re ballet.

Piano playing isn’t a good comparison because it’s not physical in the same way is it? Ballet dancers are pretty much 100% lean muscle due to the exercise involved.

@CosmoK I agree with you about many forms of dance being quite rightly considered sport. I was only talking about classical ballet really, and I described that as being a performing art.

Some people are dicks. There was a boy who did ballet with dd. He was bullied at school relentlessly. He is currently abroad performing in several shows.

Get uses to it. The sexism against boys at primary schools is shocking, particularly from girls’ mums. They proudly enroll their daughters in football / beavers etc, yet if a boy wears a pink t-shirt or enjoys dance then it’s giggles and mean comments from the girls’ mums. Very odd.

Every time someone says something like that, just call them on it with “Wow I had no idea you were so sexist!”

We had this too, to the extent that my boy now won't do it and we have constant discussions around "that's not for boys" not being a statement we subscribe to as a family. It makes me so sad

Thehop my DH was a trained dancer, broke his teacher's heart when at 18 he announced he wanted a different career. Thirty years ago he had an accident which has meant he suffers alot of pain and has limited mobility. Doctors have been very surprised on more than one occasion that he has such strong leg muscles when he can't really exercise, they don't have any idea what his leg muscles were like to start off with. All that exercise has stood him in good stead.

The sexism against boys at primary schools is shocking, particularly from girls’ mums

@Skysblue i do agree. There is an absolutely toxic sub set of girls mums (usually same that send their girls to beavers snd rainbows, AND insist rainbows needs to be unisex to give girls their own space )

Oh it is sexism alright. But it is not really "against boys". It is good ole ole misogyny flavoured with a dash of homophobia. Why are people against males doing stereotypically female things? Well, largely because women, and the roles they typically hold are not as valued as men and their typical activities. Plus of course there's the whole "catching the gays" thing. But mainly, not wanting boys to do "girly" things is because they might turn out to be like girls, and well, we all know how shite they are don't we? So teasing boys who want to pursue traditionally mainly feminine activities whilst applauding girls who do the opposite is to my mind devaluing women.
It seems to be becoming unacceptable in some quarters for girls to do typically feminine things in fact. Multiple people have asked me if I am disappointed that my daughter has pursued a dance career. When I ask why they would think that, the reply is usually something along the lines of "Well you are such a strong woman, with a successful career......" I reply that so is she, but she has different talents to me but I don't think people really believe me.
If we really want equality we need to start encouraging all people to do the things that truly interest them, regardless of which sex they are. No, it is not fair to individual boys and men that they are bullied for taking an interest in so-called feminine things but the problem goes much deeper. As long as traditional "women's work" and interests are deemed to be beneath males, it will be predominantly females who continue to suffer.

usually same that send their girls to beavers snd rainbows, AND insist rainbows needs to be unisex to give girls their own space

What are you on about?

I think we are at the "it's unfair beavers take girls stage "

Well before you disappear down a "so unfair kevin and perry" rabbit hole it's worth remembering that beavers and scouts wouldbt exist if it wasnt fir women and girls. They stepped in to run the groups and fill the spots.

So blame your brothers husbands fathers uncles and grandads for that... but guess it's easier to claim discrimination and women being the problem

Our scouts and cubs are run by men, two women leaders in beavers.

Boys can do ballet.
Girls can play football. Etc etc.
Its 2020 not 1920.
Ballet is an art form, just as physically demanding as any sport and can be very competitive - have you not seen black swan?
gavel

There is not a toxic subset of mums. Do you mean your little boy might not be treated like a prince at all times?

My son does Roller Dance (think similar to torvil and dean but on quads) hes 18 now but growing up he got lots of nasty comments

All the children at my kids prep school have to do ballet from nursery to the end of year 2. It is excellent for sport!