Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

[Boyscandoballettoo]

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

Some narrow minded people also assume all male dancers are gay!

They stereotype male ballet dancers (wrongly).
Like pp have said, if there were no male ballet dancers then they wouldn't be able to perform the wonderful shows that we all love.
If your son enjoys it then that is the main thing.

Yes, just ignore them. DS9 does 10 dance classes including Tap, Modern and ballet and loves it. My family (including my husband) started out a bit hesitant but as he has got older and they can see he's good at it they have become much more enthusiastic. His friends are completely accepting of it and just accept it as any other after school activity. His school have been hugely supportive though and ask him about his festivals and performances. The dance school are also great, and so glad to have a boy dancer because there aren't enough of them. He tends to get noticed much more than the average girl and get given solo parts just because he is a boy. Tap is his favourite and he can't keep his feet still when we're out and about. Lots of men have said to me that they love Tap and would like to be able to do that themselves and I think many boys would like Tap especially given the opportunity but most of the boys who dance that I know only started because their sister started first.

You seem very het up about it!

DS was shamefaced about admitting to Dance as one of his GCSEs at an army selection camp. Their response was along the lines of ‘Should be fit enough for this then, sonny.’

But even if it wasn’t one of the most demanding and physically challenging arts, why shouldn’t boys do gentle and artistic ‘stuff’?

Actually- I think it’s the tights...

You need to check out Bad Boys of Ballet on Instagram.to see what superb athletes they are... and get better quality friends

Thank you! I don’t know why this has now become my hill to die on, but it has/ I’m usually extremely non confrontational and polite, and I have been raging at people spouting this shit. Especially the ones Laughing!!!!
Thank you for opinions

Just tell them it didn’t do Jamie Bell, Christian Bale or Rio Ferdinand any harm learning ballet. There are plenty of professional male ballet dancers. If you ds enjoys it that is all that matters

YANBU - it's so boring that this kind of shit attitude still exists but sadly it does. Try not to let it get to you, there's sometimes no point arguing and wasting your breath on this kind of stupidity.
Funnily enough, I found this ridiculous attitude existed when my son waneeds to do ballet 10 years ago and some of the dance classes wouldn't actually let him. Took ages to find one that was mixed.

For a toddler ballet is as much a sport as football or swimming- a class chosen by the parent as they think the child will enjoy it.

People make silly judgements all the time. You have two choices- submit to gender norms or ignore the ignorant.

@chocatoo

Yes. I am het up about people exposing my toddler to ridicule and sexist remarks this early on in his life due to ignorance, shockingly.

Gender stereotyping is way, way worse now than when I was a DC, when lots of clothes were unisex and there were far more truly mixed sex clubs.

My DH plays mixed netball; he quite enjoys the open-mouthed reactions he sometimes gets when he mentions it, because so many people think women play netball, men play football.

Sadly, many people believe boys and girls are supposed to fit these narrow roles society has given them: girls like dolls, boys don't cry and so on. It can be hard being right when the rest of the world is wrong.

Ignore the negative comments. Ballet is a superb exercise for either sex and something which can be a lifelong love. It requires physical strength, stamina and grace. Great that you are encouraging your sons to pursue it

Ballet is a great activity for DC. I never did it but my DD does and loves it. Social, good for concentration, lovely music and moves, strength, artistic. Her teacher rocks.

some of the dance classes wouldn't actually let him

What the hell?!?

I want to take my DS to ballet, he does football and there's girls there - no different as far as I'm concerned. Some people should keep their small minded comments to themselves.

Did your male toddler decide he wanted to attend ballet classes? If so then fine but if you are the one who decided he should attend them then maybe your family, being aware of your strong views about stereotyped roles, are really laughing at you.

If I did it, I think my family would have laughed, and probably thought I was trying to live vicariously through my son, as I went to ballet classes but wasn't that good.

If your toddler passionately wants to go to the dance classes then I'm sure their humour will wear off.

Wonderful to hear about the boys doing well in ballet. That would be the dream!

People can be stupid and narrow minded. My dds do ballet, but if I had a DS he would be doing it too, if that’s what he wanted.

Male dancer have to be incredibly fit and strong, the dances are often differentiated and in no way feminine as you go up the grades. There are also far more opportunities for boys than girls, because there are fewer of them who carry it on. They also appear to get marked higher in exams, this is something that annoys the girls, but I think they do it to encourage them to keep going.

If your boy enjoys it, then don’t listen to the hate comments.

Do these people know how strong ballet dancers are??! Good for him doing ballet

@ohprettybaby

He’s 18 months so not really able to decide - but he loves dance, and he has a few music books with the nutcracker and swan lake and LOVES those so i thought it would be enjoyable for him. It is!

I don’t know how you can read anything about my “strong views about stereotype roles” from this one post!

Wow- I thought it was 2020 not 1950- how dare they make comments like that- what kind of sexist BS is that? If girls got told they couldn't do football there would be an outcry, well this is no different.

You take your lovely boy to ballet if he enjoys it and the sexist haters can all piss off.

@fblake

I want to take my DS to ballet,
Does your DS want to go to ballet or is it about what you want?

My son does ballet.

The real issue here is that some people think:

• Ballet is for girls
• Girls' stuff is inferior to boys' stuff
• Boys demean themselves by doing girly things

You can try to inform them that ballet is an athletic sport, it improves balance, flexibility, strength. Boys need to be strong to do it. Footballers find it useful for their training. It's good fun. It's for everyone. It's great for learning musical timing. But ultimately you're up against misogynistic thinking about female and male roles in life.

For a toddler ballet is as much a sport as football or swimming- a class chosen by the parent as they think the child will enjoy it.

What a load of tosh.

Ballet is a physical activity - like yoga, or an art like music.

Darts, pool and crown green bowling are sports.

I used to work in a premier league football academy. The boys all had ballet lessons.