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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

569 replies

Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 07:33

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 09/01/2020 08:03

Look at My First Ballet- they are ballet performances for young children, and have a narrator explains the story.

BovaryX · 09/01/2020 08:04

He’s 18 months so not really able to decide - but he loves dance, and he has a few music books with the nutcracker and swan lake and LOVES those so i thought it would be enjoyable for him

It’s an excellent exercise and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever boys can’t do it too. Laughing at boys doing ballet seems very regressive. It’s hard core exercise as anyone who has done it knows. Pretty pathetic to laugh at it, ignore them

Booboostwo · 09/01/2020 08:05

Depressing and widespread. I despair sometimes. Even worse these attitudes are passed onto children very early on. My DS loved of things like sparkly tops, Anna and Elsa, dance, etc. until about 4yo where he picked up gendered norms from other little boys at school. Now he is adamant that there are girl toys/games/clothes and boy toys/games/clothes despite sharing everything with his sister at home. Even more disturbingly he refuses to accept that girls can be superheroes, always casts them in stories as victims to be saved by boys, etc. and he's only 5yo. Hopefully he will grow out of it.

Bloodybridget · 09/01/2020 08:06

OP have you ever read Noel Streatfeild's The Bell Family? Published in 1954, boy starts ballet lessons (although he gets fed up with them after a while).

cdtaylornats · 09/01/2020 08:07

As a 13 year old lad said when being taunted about ballet by his classmates "I spent my Saturday afternoon lifting teenage lassies uo by their arse".

Butchyrestingface · 09/01/2020 08:09

Would you be surprised if a girl did football and received the same comments?

No, I wouldn’t be surprised. Sexism is endemic in society. YANBU to be frustrated and annoyed by it though, esp when directed at a very small child.

Yes. I am het up about people exposing my toddler to ridicule and sexist remarks this early on in his life due to ignorance, shockingly

Do you have any daughters?

BirdintheWings · 09/01/2020 08:10

Hmm, beware of assumptions in the opposite direction too! He may well enjoy it while being entire mediocre, just like nearly all little girls who take ballet.

DS used to be a bit embarrassed that when his group turned up to perform, people would expect him to be good (as surely a boy wouldn’t have carried on with it otherwise).

Original poster
Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 08:11

Do you have any daughters?

Not yet - hopefully one day!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 08:11

@BirdintheWings

Very interesting point!

OP posts:
LIZS · 09/01/2020 08:12

If he is a toddler it is not really ballet yet, more movement to music. You sound really precious to label it as such, which might fuel the comments. Also it is a physical activity not a sport, bit again it won't really be either yet at such a young age.

endofthelinefinally · 09/01/2020 08:12

I love musical theatre. Those dancers are incredibly fit and strong. Ignorance is rife. You just have to feel sorry for stupid, ignorant people.

annualleavepurchase · 09/01/2020 08:12

I suspect people that laugh at boys and men doing ballet have never actually seen a ballet and just have the image of a pink tutu in their head.

BovaryX · 09/01/2020 08:13

He may well enjoy it while being entire mediocre

So what? Mediocrity is the defining feature of most children irrespective of what hobby they are pursuing....

blueruin · 09/01/2020 08:13

Tell them to go watch Sergei Polunin dancing to Take Me To Church on YouTube and come back and comment when they can do a fraction of what he does. It's here:

FairfaxAikman · 09/01/2020 08:14

If anyone makes comments to us about male dancers I show them this video of Sergei Polunin. Guy has a hell of a lot of power in his moves

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 09/01/2020 08:15

Please don’t let them get to you op, and if your ds enjoys it keep up with it. My dd goes to a big dance school and there are so few boys, and none over the age of 10 or 11. I think it’s such a shame.

blueruin · 09/01/2020 08:15

Snap!

Proseccopeach · 09/01/2020 08:15

Look up the Welsh National Rugby Teams training. They do ballet as part of their training. It makes them faster leaner and more flexible.

FairfaxAikman · 09/01/2020 08:17

@blueruin 😁 good taste!

Original poster
Boyscandoballettoo · 09/01/2020 08:18

If he is a toddler it is not really ballet yet, more movement to music. You sound really precious to label it as such, which might fuel the comments

The class is called ballet. His class is 18-3 and the 3 year olds and doing toe pointing etc, he just isn’t able to yet. The girls are in tutus. And you’re missing the point of the post entirely.

Love to references to the Sergei Polunin video!

OP posts:
Brefugee · 09/01/2020 08:20

You need to check out Bad Boys of Ballet on Instagram better still go and see them live. They are so athletic - it's amazing.

Also if it's the "butch" aspect of it they think it will rob your DS of - show them pictures/film of Carlos Acosta.

2 boys did ballet with my DCs and everyone loved it because it meant they could practice with a male partner instead of having to learn the "boy part" and then unlearn it and learn the "girl part" so they could all dance with partners.

Gizlotsmum · 09/01/2020 08:21

My 8 Yr old does ballet and finally my father in law has stopped with the comments. He started at 4. I just used to nod and smile....

LIZS · 09/01/2020 08:21

No need to be rude! Your point is ...?

fairynick · 09/01/2020 08:21

Dancer speaking. I think it’s technically been labelled an art, not a sport. But I see it as both.
Dance definitely is competitive with rules and ways of measuring, however not to take away from the art/ expression etc etc.
It’s been an age long debate and I most people in the dance community that is peak to say that it’s probably fair to say that it’s a bit of both.
You’re going to experience the odd comment about your sons OP but please don’t let that put you or your sons off!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/01/2020 08:22

A girl doing football does receive the same ignorant comments- one relative made a comment when I said I wanted to trial my 2year old DD at football
Idiots OP!