Neighbour complaining that we're noisy

[MrBobLobLaw]

So we're having a bit of an ongoing issue with our neighbours below us. We only moved in 7 weeks ago. When we moved in I was 4 days overdue DC2, who arrived 5 days after that. We also have a 2yo who is very... two. So it's been a busy time and pretty full on.

We're on the ground floor and the neighbours are below us in the basement flat of a Victorian conversion. Obviously the floors are thin, such is the nature of the building, we hear the people above us walking about too but we have a rug down and try to be mindful as their bedroom is below our front room/kitchen.

They've complained twice before- once face to face when they knocked on the door in the evening when the baby was 2weeks old. I was obviously pretty flustered but said we'd do something. The second time was by text. Thing is the time they're complaining about (9-11pm ish) is when DC1 is in bed anyway and we have to do some degree of tidying during that time.

Anyway we got another text this morning saying can we be quieter in the morning, that 6:45 is early and can we be mindful of them. Obviously I sympathise, the couple who lived here before didn't have kids and were away a lot I think so it must have been quieter for them all round. They also don't have kids so wouldn't really understand that you can just shush a 2 year old or tell them that 6:45 is a bit early. As soon as we're up i put on the TV and I make DC1s breakfast so that he's sitting as much as possible.. but he's two! He wants to play and walk around. I feel like he's taking the brunt of it as I'm always having to tell him to be quiet, walk softer etc when really he's not doing anything wrong he's just being two.

Anyway we've been polite and apologetic thus far and tried to satiate them but we live here too and I can't make the building not Victorian. I'm knackered from looking after both DCs (not their problem i know) and feel like I'm doing all we can do be quiet for them.

WIBU to send the following text? :

Morning Neighbour, I’m doing the best I can with a 2 year old and a newborn to contend with now DPs back at work. If I could keep them both asleep and in bed for longer I would. Perhaps some earplugs might help.

Is that too rude?

@Rosehip10
Are you the neighbour?

There's always one 😑

Are you the neighbour? One of these days I will see the answer YES I BLOODY WELL AM!

Already have a foam playmat for those who asked and haven't RTFT.

And no I can't keep DS in his room until 7, not least because have you ever tried to keep a toddler in a room against their will?! We also have to get up and ready for the day just like everyone else, as is our right.

Why have you posted under two different names rosehip? And why should i not have bought a property in an area that is suitable for work and that I can afford? In this city you have to take what you can get!! If I could have bought a "proper" family home then I would have, but I'd need an extra £300k to do so!

Yes I did in the end @Tistheseason17, I did a post at 19:49 last night about it. No more messages since their reply.

DS has started nursery now so hopefully there'll be less noise all round- quicker bedtimes (I hope?!), more time in the day for me to tidy up and clean so less to do at night, not to mention him being out all day in case they are home or whatever. And over time they'll get used to it too I hope!

This isn’t your problem @MrBobLobLaw. You can’t stop your toddler running about playing and nor should you! Don’t make your toddler sit and watch tv so they’re not running about, your child is more important than the neighbours. I understand how stressed you must be getting with every noise though.

Good that they are getting soundproofing. They were just lucky before with the old neighbours.

If I were you I’d go talk to them and perhaps being said toddler with you so they can see what having a toddler is like, or maybe invite them up to your flat for coffee

Thank you for your text message,we really appreciate that the previous tenants had no children and were not at home all day so adjusting to having a family here must be difficult.we are doing all we can to minimise any noise in every respect.However ,despite this,the very fabric of the building means noise will travel and this is something we cannot stop altogether whatever We do.
We will continue to do our best and hope you will appreciate this and that we are never not mindful of the requirement of consideration of others.In return,please be patient,our two year old is going through a lively stage and our baby does cry.
Thank you again.

They will sell soon I expect.
Here's hoping!

There’s nothing you can do hun your not having parties and blasting music your just living! It’s your home too. In older houses you can hear everything they must realise that, your not giving your upstairs neighbours grief for simply living. It’s shit for them yeah cus been at the bottom they’ve got the short straw but there’s literally nothing that can be done x

Son and gf moved into a rental flat, top flat of three, a few weeks ago. Two men of around 70 live below them. Son and gf are quiet people but have had constant hassle from below. Effing and blinding at every slight noise like plugging an electrical appliance into a socket or slightly moving a dressing table stool on castors. Last night they had death threats shouted up at them through the floor when the bed squeezed as my son got into bed. Gf emailed the police and they called around this morning for a chat. Death threats are taken seriously. Men downstairs who were definitely at home did not answer the door so police are sending community police around.

A certain amount of ‘noise’ has to be accepted in situations such as yours and tolerance shown. Apart from trying to talk to your neighbours I suppose the only thing you can do is to put a carpet down. Heaven help you when the baby decides to have a good cry or the older one has a tantrum though!

Squeaked not squeezed.

OP, they are the unreasonable ones - not you.
You have clearly done everything to reduce noise.

I will no doubt get flamed and I haven't read through the entire thread, but you say you
"tidy" at 9-11 pm ish.

In my opinion that's late to tidy, as inevitably tidying means a bit of crashing about and it's a noisy task.

We are usually in bed here at around 9.30 and equally we feel it's respectful to not make too noise at that time anyway.

As I said, I will probably get a flaming, but I have had neighbours that were noisy before.

Imo, there are two sides to each story.

Thankfully we have lovely quiet neighbours now but the previous two families, through their noise, dictated our waking up and bedtimes. It was awful.

I understand you have two small children and that they make noise. I have two children.
I don't think that you should send that text worded the way it is and I also urge you to reconsider the tidying time, especially with you being in a flat where the noise carries more.