Were you spanked or hit growing up in the '80s (or earlier)?

[SilverSurfer2020]

I grew up in the 80s and while I was only "spanked" once by a male teacher at primary school and never spanked or hit by my parents (that I can recall) ... I was very aware of the ever present talk of rulers, canes, hitting at the rural primary school I attended, of stories of older children having been hit, and on too of that my older siblings were hit occasionally by my parents.

Was this normal for the time?
I always got the impression it was fairly normal for people a bit older than me, and further back.

I wonder what impact it had on their (and our) perception of physical violence within families, partners etc.

What do you think?

Aibu - no, it was not common.
Aibu - yes, it was common.

(The impact question is not part of this aibu just looking for additional opinions. Maybe I could do a separate aibu for it).

Actually, I lie. I have hit one of my children once. She was about two and in her car seat in the front seat of the car (two seat car). We were on a busy, fast A road and she was having a tantrum and repeatedly kicking the gearstick. I smacked her leg to stop her.

Born in 88 and raised by my Grandparents- was smacked regularly for transgressions - only a handful I can remember were because of genuine bad behaviour. My Grandfather would take his belt off to threaten us (me and DB) but never used it.

The smacking stopped the day I laughed at my Grandfather and said it didn’t scare me anymore. He shrugged and walked away and decided to use the sit in silence approach from then on. I hated that more than the smacking as he’d have me sit there for an hour at least.

I’d say that smacking didn’t affect me negatively but I can’t say that for certain because I don’t know what parts of my personality have developed as a result of experiencing smacking from a very young age.

I have tapped my DD’s hand once recently and feel bloody awful that I did it, she and her DB are twins and she was trying to steal his dinner after she had dumped hers all over the floor, she poked him in the eye when he tried to get his food back causing DS to cry. Her trying to take his food after throwing hers everywhere is a regular occurrence and my frustration got the better of me - I have always promised myself I’d never resort to smacking, so I let myself down and as a PP has already said, smacking I think is more because of parents giving into their frustrations more than it is about disciplining the child.

There was one teacher who apparently gave the cane at secondary school. But I think it was very rarely used. I don't actually know of anyone who received the cane. So maybe by the time I arrived at the school it was the stuff of legend. This was about 1985.

My Mum slapped me on the hand occasionally. My Dad never. I didn't need the threat of physical punishment as a deterrent, Mum's 'look' was more than enough to scare the shit out of me as a kid!

On the subject of beatings in school, there was a maths teacher in my high school who was notorious for hitting kids and throwing stuff. A couple of them did, in fact. This particular teacher was taking my class for music and one of the boys, who was a nasty little cunt who bullied me, had evidently pissed him off because the teacher took him outside and the next thing we knew, he was slamming him against the wall and ripped his shirt. We all heard it. We all complained about it, to the head of year AND to our form teacher, but neither of them did anything. Even I tried to tell them what the maths teacher had done, and I was a good kid, and it didn't work. I hated the guy but I also hated seeing a teacher abuse his power like that. The teacher never got fired. This was in 1995/1996.

I was born 81 and was very occasionally smacked hard but only if I was doing something potentially dangerous like trying to run into the road/teasing the cat/throwing things and I'd been told to stop numerous times

@KenDodd I think that's similar to the only time I remember my mum hitting one of us (and I know she did other times but can't remember them).
I have reacted in a way that probably hurt my children (but that wasn't the point) in similar dangerous situations e.g. grabbing my DS and pulling him when he climbed in the front seat instead of getting out of the car, and started fiddling with the controls/brake.
I'm not proud but in a moment of panic I was only thinking of keeping all of us safe.

Anyone remember the case about 10 years ago of the teacher who lamped a teenage pupil over the head with a dumbbell and put him in intensive care?

By all accounts the victim was a cheeky wee shite but teacher severely injured him, was sentenced to community service after being acquitted of attempted murder...

And then wanted his job back! 🙄

Yes, I remember that case. The teacher reportedly went postal after being taunted and tried to stove the kid's head in. He got off lightly, when you think what a parent would have been sentenced to if they'd have done the same at home, or if a stranger in the street had launched the same attack on a child.

Irish born in the 70's.

Occasional smack (back of hand, or back of leg) from my Mum. Never with anything - my friend was hit with the wooden spoon and my Mum was absolutely horrified by this (as was I!).

Never smacked by anybody else, ever. There was absolutely no smacking ever at school.

I didn't mind it in the slightest, nor does it bother me now. I mean, obv. AT THE TIME I was outraged, but it was only ever when I was being super cheeky or bold, and it never more than stung for a couple of moments, even if I tried my level best to imagine it hurt for HOURS (wounded pride etc.).

I agree with the poster above who is frustrated by the blanket "oh so you were beaten, then" attitude.

I can well imagine that there WERE children who were beaten, struck with an implement, bruised etc. and those children certainly have a very different outlook. But in my case it was infrequent, very much earned, and not remotely resented then or now as an adult, with my poor Mum long dead.

I was born in 1995 and my dad used to smack me.

Born 87 got corporal punishment off my raf daddy, got a choice of what torture instrument was to be used , he especially loved asking us in advance so we knew we had all day to think about our beating ahead. He used to say il not do it now il do it tonight so you have all day to worry about it! We usually had a choice of a weight lifting belt, a plank of wood or a bat, a slipper because his hand used to hurt after spanking us so if we chose the booby prize and said the slipper he would laugh and say no a slipper is too soft nice try so we had a or b basically a weight lifting belt or some plank of wood or a bat. Its fucked me up I still wake up dreaming of being that little girl again, I'm not soft at all with my kids I believe in boundaries and consequences but I will never beat or emotionally abuse my children they will never be fearfull off having extreme pain and humiliation as a punishment. His other favourite was making my siblings and I kiss each other as a punishment then he would make us beat each other instead of him doing it , then after he had dished out our beating he would get us to apologise to him. You can be firm parents
Without beating or emotionally fucking your children

Born in '63 and 'thumped' at home as my dad called it.
At secondary school from '74, there was 'the dap' where you'd get walloped across the legs with a plimsole. A lot of the teachers used to throw wooden blackboard rubbers too.

My Dad used to give a “good hiding” (smacked on bare bottom over his knee) until I was 11. He also used to give a “clip round the ear”. Mum slapped our legs but it didn’t really hurt. Primary school used to give “the slipper” on backside (apparently - I wasn’t naughty enough) and secondary school gave “the cuts” - cane across palm of hand.
I was born in 69.

yes, my mother would hit out in anger.
she had/has an awful temper.
she denies she ever hit us

Corporal punishment was illegal in school when I started however I was hit in school, the boys were hit more often. One boy nearly had his jaw broken from being hit, I remember him coming in the next day with a big purple bruise on his face. There was also kneeling on the floor with hands on head which is sore on the knees. My parents also smacked me, probably every day but I only remember twice. I had a very happy Childhood which is probably why I cant remember being slapped. I do remember laughing my siblings got spanked though. It didn't work, we didn't care if we were hit, grounding though..that was way worse.

Very late 50s here and schools depended on your background as to how you were treated. Those from poor families got beaten for such .
Most parents beat their children and you expected it at school.
I still have nightmares from seeing another pupil at primary school punnished ( I cannot say ) just for being left handed.
The teacher was a supposedly upright person .
I also think it depended on where you lived .
I am so glad that no teacher or anyone else could hit my kids .

I got belted at home and school in the 70's. Bastards!

I was born in 84.
Never ever saw or heard of it in schools at that time. My mum however... 😂😂 She didn't do it often but when she did, my god I knew about it 😳 she used to have the really thin plastic slippers, like they use in a spa, she would take one one off and slap me with it across the back of the legs, fuck me it stung like nobody's business. My dad on the other hand was the complete opposite, I could get away with murder!!! 😂 😂 😂

Yea our primary school had the slipper in the heads office that he would hit children with as a punishment for bad behaviour (not me). Think it was stopped just around the time I left in 1983.

Smacked by my Mum (who was also very loving nearly all the time). Hasn’t damaged our relationship but I would never contemplate smacking my DD. The idea of it is just completely awful. But my Mum has a temper and I don’t I suppose.

Yes I was slippered on the arse many times at school in the early 80s.

My mother continued until I was 16. She came raging at me with a hanger one day, so I hit her back with a hard punch in the stomach

Is it wrong that I wheezed with laughter at this, like Muttley in whacky races .. probably but i don't care.

If my

cryalot2
Just read your post.
My dad was born in 58, so at school in the 60's. He was left handed and was kept in at breaks and lunches with his left hand strapped to chair leg and forced to learn how to write with his right hand. He now can't write with his left hand but still does everything else left handed. My uncle (mum's brother) on the other hand who is the same age lived at the other end of the country and was left to get on with it

We were definitely threatened at school with smacking in the 80s and I think some people where but that could be urban myth lol I think my mum smacked me once that I remember but apologised after saying it was wrong, she was wrong and had lost control of herself. I was being a little shit TBF. My ex was what I call beaten regularly he thought smacking our children as necessary I didn't at all caused alot of arguments. He was extremely aggressive/physical with me as well I think it came from his childhood but didn't excuse it.

My brother and I got smacked a home as a final consequence of bad behaviour when we wouldn't listen to anything else. It has had no affect on me whatsoever and I never think about it. I also got hit in school. I think that has affected me more, probably because I knew that my mother loved me inspite of smacking and it never came out of the blue, while the teachers were just sadistic bastards. I went to a very old-fashioned primary school.