AIBU to want the larger room as a dressing room

[starrain]

So we have just bought a new build house. It has 4 bedrooms, too are large doubles. And 2 are smaller bedrooms, mainly for single beds with wardrobes.

Me and DJ will share the master bedroom. And I wanted to put my 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl in their own small rooms.

Now the second double room was meant to be a guest room....in 7 years of living at my current house we have never had anyone sleepover, only kids but they would share beds.

So I want that room to have full length 4 double wardrobes and a corner for my dressing area. WITH the possibility of adding a bed in if ever needed. I am willing to share my wardrobes with hubby...eventhough we can get 2 doubles in the master anyway.

A lot of ppl have said to me to give the second double to 5 year old, but I just think it's too big a room for him and eventually he can have the room as a bed will fit even with the wardrobes fitted in. AIBU Should I just give him the room. My hubby actually said no and that I should have it as dressing if I like.

Do you have a playroom for the children? If so then I think your plan is fine.
If not then I think the idea of storing everyone's clothes in the bigger room so the children have more space to play is quite a good idea.

@Sydneyy

I would give your kids the two large rooms. Use one small room for you and your DH to sleep and the other for your clothes.
You think the OP and her DH should sleep in a room that is only big enough for a single bed and a wardrobe?

Of course you should have the master-you are the adults.
Have your dressing room in the other double and put a sofa bed for guests/sleepovers in it too.
Kids get two singles because they are kids and it will stop arguments about 1 of them having a bigger room when older.

People are so stupid. OP obviously does not love her clothes and make-up more than her children!! It is a sensible use of space. Bedrooms are better without all the "dressing" clutter and if you are sharing a room it makes practical sense to be able to get dressed in another room without disturbing a sleeping partner.

YANBU

I'd use the double room as a dressing room/storage for the whole family, that way the kids get a bit more space in their single rooms. You could put a couple of desks in there as they get older and use it for doing homework etc. Maybe put in a sofa bed for if you ever need a place for guests. If you plan to stay in the house for a while I can forsee bickering about which child gets the bigger room.

Your proposal sounds good to me! The kids rooms sound big enough-when I was growing up and left home at 19/20 I still had my lovely single bed room that fit in a dressing table, wardrobe and chest of drawers-plenty of space for a child/adult!

We have a dressing room off our bedroom, husband has the equivalent of x4 wardrobes and drawers and I have x3 with top boxes and another 1 full shelves, so I’m chuckling at people here that are shocked 😁 we have workwear, gym stuff, normal clothes, jackets, shoes, bags, holiday clothes etc etc jewellery too-it’s one of my favourite rooms as it’s so orderly!

If I were you I’d get a great quality sofa bed and have a dressing room/getting ready room for you and your husband and your children, they can change in there too if they want to.

I’d probably give the two dc the big rooms if a double bed will fit in one of the smaller rooms for you and dh, then they have space to play and for their things whereas grown ups only sleep in their bedroom.

But otherwise I’d give the two small rooms to the dc and make the bigger bedroom a shared playroom? Who the heck has a dressing room? Using the big room just to store clothes seems bonkers to me especially if it deprives your dc.

Time to de-clutter OP and consider the environmental impact of all the clothes you’ve bought over the years

Why?
Just cos its what you would do, thats not how many others live. I get enjoyment from my stuff, as id say the OP does. Some would be needed but not all year like thick coats, some sentimental, some just cos it looks good. So bloody what
My shoe collection is 90% 'thats pretty' i have at a safe guess, 50ish pairs

Plus if all clothes in one room, its not clutter, its got a home

Of course you should have the master-you are the adults.

Kids get priority in this house.

We are moving house soon and will have a similar set up. Me and DH will get the biggest bedroom, the 2nd bedroom will be a guest room, then the DC will get the two smallest bedrooms. I think it's fairer that the kids get similar sized bedrooms to each other, plus we have guests staying over frequently so need a spare room that fits a double bed. We have no need for a dressing room but if we did need extra wardrobe space then we would use the spare room for this too.
I don't think we are being unfair to the kids - having a decent guest room means the grandparents can come and stay more often, plus we will be using the dining room downstairs as a play room so there is plenty of space for their toys. In our current house they mostly play downstairs anyway so their rooms are mainly for sleeping in. We might change things round when the kids are older. So I think YANBU mostly but do think that 4 double wardrobes is a bit excessive!

I’d do the same, give the kids the smaller rooms as I wouldn’t want to just give one a bigger room until I could see who would need it more when they get a bit bigger.
As the DC already have a playroom downstairs, then their bedrooms sound perfectly reasonable.
I’d then use the spare bedroom as a guest bedroom and for storage.

How many bloody clothes do you have OP? You need to declutter.

Your child will gain far more from having the space to play in than you indulging your love of clothes. Put your children first.

@Mulledwineinajug

Why though? Why not "have their needs considered equally"?

These are two children with a playroom. Their parents presumably chauffeur them around, feed them, pay for the house they all live in and structure an immense amount of their lives around them. I'd say they bloody well DO get treated as a priority. That doesn't mean one of them gets a double room by default.

I'd probably do the same, but make the double a room for everyone's clothes, plus a desk and guest bed. Whenever I am fantasy househunting I always think that an ensuite is a better guest room, and even sized rooms better for kids.

My favourite fantasy house I'd actually keep the ensuite as a guest, then the two larger even rooms for kids, then the smaller double for us with wardrobes in the guest room.

Have you got a cupboard under the stairs? Shove the DC in there, they don’t need space until they’re 16 anyway. More room for clothes then!

That’s a fair point @thecatsthecats and we’re not martyrs here either!

I think I just mean that if there’s a crappy room and someone has to take it I’d always give the best to the kids.

But you’re right of course, it’s a balance, if the adults’ needs aren’t met at all it would be an unhealthy situation.

This has given me such a laugh this morning. Loving all the frothing.

OP you do what suits you guys best. Doesn't sound like your children will be wanting and if you want wall to wall shoes you carry on.

I'm hoping to convert half of DHs 'man cave' into a dressing area for me. Just make things easier when I'm out before him in the morning and make both our lives a little easier

Your priorities are shit.

Four double wardrobes for your clothes and accessories?!

I have 1.5 for all my clothes, shoes, coats, accessories, and some camping equipment shoved in too, plus a drawer for the baby's clothes. And I think I have too many clothes.

Either you have wayyyyy too many clothes or you are shit at folding.

@Travis1 I can recommend doing this. We moved the wardrobes out of our bedroom and into DP's office mancave. Makes it much easier to keep the bedroom dust free, and you don't disturb each other on a morning.

It’s strange how many people are championing how much the 5 year old needs this big room, how he’ll have so many toys, need the space , it’s totally selfish for the parents to deprive him of this much needed space - but hey who cares that is sister has to make do a terrible unsuitable small room eh??
Presumably her needs will never change and she’ll just have no toys.

Honestly OP I think what you’re suggesting is fine, especially as the kids rooms sound good sizes and they have a play room . I would love a similar set up not just for clothes but for things like seasonal clothes so a heavy winter coat I only really need the odd time, children’s summer clothes, spare duvets that sort of thing. Then if I did find I suddenly had guests a lot I could revisit it - or if one of the kids takes up piano!

Agree with the PP who said your decision is selfish and short sighted

I dont have a lot of clothes/accessories

Then why on earth would you want a dressing room? Madness and a total waste of a room.

We have a 4 bedroom house and 1 DS. We have the master bedroom with en-suite. The 2nd double bedroom is actually bigger than our master but has no en-suite. It is a guest bedroom and is used for extra wardrobe space. I don't specifically use it as a dressing room though. DS has the largest of the 2 single bedrooms, although you could get a double in his room at a push.

Do what makes sense to you as a family. If your children are well adjusted and loved, then bedroom configuration won't make a hot of difference.

I do plan to turn our big guest room in to a lounge/gaming room for DS when he becomes a teenager. Simply because I want to keep tech out of his bedroom at night. We are fortunate enough to have the space to give him is own lounge, so why not? But there is no way he will perceive not having the big room now as a sleight or lack of love. That's just ridiculous.

Could you remove be the children's wardrobes to the room as well?
This would enlarge their rooms. Giving them extra space.
Your extra room then becomes the laundry room for everyone.
This would then mean no clothing mess.
Maybe add a tumble dryer and ironing board.
I know someone who did this and loved it.

Why though? Why not "have their needs considered equally"?

That's exactly what we did. DC spend a lot of time in their rooms, and play with their friends there. We use our room for sleeping. Therefore made much more sense to give DC the bigger rooms.