Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want the larger room as a dressing room

171 replies

starrain · 05/01/2020 22:24

So we have just bought a new build house. It has 4 bedrooms, too are large doubles. And 2 are smaller bedrooms, mainly for single beds with wardrobes.

Me and DJ will share the master bedroom. And I wanted to put my 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl in their own small rooms.

Now the second double room was meant to be a guest room....in 7 years of living at my current house we have never had anyone sleepover, only kids but they would share beds.

So I want that room to have full length 4 double wardrobes and a corner for my dressing area. WITH the possibility of adding a bed in if ever needed. I am willing to share my wardrobes with hubby...eventhough we can get 2 doubles in the master anyway.

A lot of ppl have said to me to give the second double to 5 year old, but I just think it's too big a room for him and eventually he can have the room as a bed will fit even with the wardrobes fitted in. AIBU Should I just give him the room. My hubby actually said no and that I should have it as dressing if I like.

OP posts:
knitnerd90 · 06/01/2020 03:57

Once your kid has the room, you won't be keeping your things in there surely? It can't be both.

I have one child whose room is larger than the other's (3 bed house, so unavoidable). It's fine. I will say that smaller rooms are not always easier to keep tidy as there are fewer places to put things.

It just seems a bit silly to me to need an entire double bedroom as a dressing room. Marie Kondo time indeed.

Creepster · 06/01/2020 03:57

Kids need big rooms because they spend so much time in them.

Aridane · 06/01/2020 04:05

And I don’t understand why the yabu vote has won!!

Because over 2/3rds of the posters think the OP is a materialistic diva who is selfishly prioritising her extensive wardrobe over her children’s bedrooms!

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 06/01/2020 04:10

How utterly selfish.
YABU

Beautiful3 · 06/01/2020 04:37

That's awful and selfish. They will accumulate that many toys that they ll need the space.

BoomBoomsCousin · 06/01/2020 04:47

YANBU. I think giving the double to one of the children is a recipe for resentment in later years. You have two kids and two single rooms it makes sense to keep the kids in roughly equal rooms providing they are actually sufficient (and by your description they certainly are).

What you do with the 4th bedroom is nobody’s business but yours and DH’s. If he’s happy with it being a dressing room then that seems like a good use. Especially if it frees up a nice sitting area in your bedroom - an area that may become quite a haven in 8 - 10 years time.

MonsterKidz · 06/01/2020 04:56

I have similar - DH and I have a large master, then there is a smaller double room and two identical single rooms. I have each of my boys in the identical single rooms, although to be fair they would both fit double beds but they have singles and have built in wardrobes and toy storage and floor space for play.

We debated giving the double room to the eldest but it felt too big for him at the time and then we felt that it would be unfair on the youngest in the future.

The larger room has a bed in for guests which does get used as we are out of the country but also has lego storage, floor play space, spare book shelves and a sofa so it doubles up as a extra play area for them to share and works well for us. I also have wardrobes in there for extra stuff but it’s not a dressing room by any stretch. Hope you find a solution that works for you.

Jeleste · 06/01/2020 05:02

Im not sure tbh. I think when the kids are older its gonna cause more issues if one child has a big room and the other one has a tiny one.
Maybe using it as a dressing room is more fair?
Since you already have double wardrobe in your room i would probably use the big room as a dressing room for everyone including your kids. That way they dont need wardrobes in their bedroom and have more space. This only works if the rooms are laid out right though

FromEden · 06/01/2020 05:39

Theres no point in putting in wardrobes and making it a dressing room if at some stage you're going to use it as a bedroom for one of the kids. You'll end up having to put wardrobes in the master anyway. Plus, I know you said you dont have guests that often but when you do it's going to be so annoying to not have proper access to all your clothing etc. I just dont think it seems practical but if you think it will work for you, go for it.

Teachermaths · 06/01/2020 06:09

2 double wardrobes each is excessive. You have more clothes than the people I know.

Tumbleweed101 · 06/01/2020 06:44

At their ages, depending on the large room shape/size, I might be tempted to give the large room for them to share for a few years, use one small room as a dressing room and one small room as a guest room.

When they get old enough to want to be apart then let them choose their rooms.

YahBasic · 06/01/2020 06:48

I think it’s fair to give them a similar size room each and set the larger room up as a guest/dressing room.

Much easier than kicking your son out when people come to stay.

SallyWD · 06/01/2020 06:52

Most people don't have a dressing room! I think if you must have one then use a smaller room.

Mummadeeze · 06/01/2020 06:55

I would give the children the two large doubles (one each), sleep in a small room and use the other small room as a dressing room. My DD always gets the biggest room in our set up. I love her having space to play, have an art desk, bunk bed, lots of storage for toys, music corner etc. All I need is a bed, a chest of drawers and a TV in my room!

Sceptre86 · 06/01/2020 07:02

I have three double bedrooms and a single. We have the master , dd has the second biggest and ds is in the single bedroom at the moment ( he is 2), eventually he will move into the spare room. The spare room at the moment has a king sized bed and my dressing table as well as my clothes. I dont regret keeping the third biggest room as a spare room as ds is small yet and both his and dd's toys fit in their bedrooms. I think yanbu, your current layout works for you all but I would be prepared to change it as your children get bigger. I also dont think it is unfair that kids have different sized bedrooms, we moved in when ds was 8 months old so naturally made the smaller room a nursery for him and kept them both in the two rooms either side of the master so we could get to them/ hear them easily.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/01/2020 07:07

Our current set up is...

  • largest bedroom joint guestroom/playroom
  • 2nd bedroom ours
  • 3rd/4th DDs bedrooms

We were originally going to do it as largest ours, 2nd DD2s plus playroom, 3rd guest, 4th DD1s but neither of the two small rooms fitted a double bed due to awkward shape. (DD2 having the bigger bedroom was because she doesn't mind DD1 playing in her room, but DD1 needs her escape room).

Actionhasmagic · 06/01/2020 07:11

I would make sure my kids had the space before my clothes did

squeekums · 06/01/2020 07:14

I'm jealous OP
We in a 3 bedroom place and I've got the smallest room as my WWE and AFL (Aussie rules footy) merchandise display room.
I'd love a clothes and shoes room, I could fill it easily. But for me it would also double as storage of bigger stuff like extra quilts, pillows, suitcases
There a long list why I won't have a 2nd and giving up the 3rd room is one of them, I won't do it.

I'd go with kids in smaller rooms. No arguments on size then when they older.
Nothing to stop them using the dressing room in years to come for their clothes either.

Queenunikitty · 06/01/2020 07:14

I have x 2 masters with en-suite, and 3 doubles, one with en suite. And one child. He has the two doubles, one as a play room. My clothes are in the master with x 4 built in double wardrobes ( and a king bed for guests) and en suite and DH has the other master bathroom and x 3 small double built in wardrobes. DC has one built in double wardrobe in the bedroom and two large cupboard storage spaces in the play room which also has a double sofa bed. I use the final double which has an en-suite as an office and DH has a separate office. Use the space which ever way suits best now and you can change it up as the kids grow.

yearinyearout · 06/01/2020 08:00

In your position, I would have the wardrobes In the second double room, but would put a double bed in there as well. Have always found a spare bed handy for when us/kids are unwell, and it can be used as a spare room when necessary.

ShamefulBlanket · 06/01/2020 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vagndidit · 06/01/2020 08:51

Children do grow, you know.

I couldn't fathom my son being taller than me someday when he was a tiny 5 year old, but at age 12, there we go. A double won't be too big for a growing child, sooner than later assuming this is a forever house

Ishotmrburns · 06/01/2020 08:52

I'm surprised that the vote is saying YABU. I think, as long as the smaller rooms are of reasonable size (ie space for a bed, drawers and somewhere to play/read etc) then it's absolutely fine for a 5yo to have the smaller room and you to have a dressing room. People are weird about this stuff on Mumsnet. Apparently two siblings sharing a room is paramount to child abuse Hmm

Twickerhun · 06/01/2020 08:53

I can’t get over how many wardrobes you think is normal! Time to de-clutter OP and consider the environmental impact of all the clothes you’ve bought over the years.

QuillBill · 06/01/2020 08:55

Six double wardrobes for two people is a lot of wardrobes.

I'd say it depends on how small the smaller rooms are. I'd want my dc to be able to play in their rooms and for there to be enough space to store all of their paraphernalia so it's not all in the living areas. As children get older they need to be able to play without adults watching over them,

There isn't much point in having a room just for guests if you never have guests.