Would you date someone who had a coldsore in the past?

[Onewardsup]

YABU - no
YANBU - yes

Not talking an active one and a date right now, just someone that gets them, maybe just one coldsore (so Herpes), a year, 2 years, 5 years ago!

And yes I have another thread to those who have read it. Just wanting a poll, thanks.

I get them - my first one was at 1 year old after my 15 year old aunt gave me a kiss when she had one. There's nothing you can do about that. No issues with dating someone who gets them.

I didn't mean I agreed with what I said in my post, I was trying to convey to the OP that there is a lot of assumption and stigmatism around genital herpes that there isn't around cold sores and that's why posters are saying they would date someone with one and not the other!

Not saying this is right though.

My comment about cold sores not being on the same level as genital herpes was referring to how painful the latter are and how they make people feel ill aswell.

I certainly wouldn't kiss someone with an active cold sore,but if they'd had cold sores in the past,and might get them again in the future,it wouldn't bother me.

I think after reading this thread the title should really be would you date someone with genital herpes, op, your approach to making your point is somewhat misleading.

I have to say, I agree.

I would date someone prone to cold sores.
I wouldn’t sleep with someone who told me they had genital herpes.

OP can say that’s unfair, but that won’t make me change my mind.

I hope you can read this thread properly and see that the vast majority of people are sensible and practical and Keep it in perspective. Of course there are a few who aren't but that's to be expected.

I would date someone prone to cold sores.
I wouldn’t sleep with someone who told me they had genital herpes.

If you dated someone with oral herpes would you never allow them to give you oral sex?

Letseatgrandma do you think that's a particularly kind thing to say to a rape survivor who is struggling to come to terms with one of the consequences of her attack?

You either haven't bothered to read the thread or you're unbelievably cruel.

If you dated someone with oral herpes would you never allow them to give you oral sex?

I really really don't like receiving oral sex anyway, so it wouldn’t ever be a problem.

There will always be someone who has a weird one off obsession but realistically most people would not even think to mention that they occasionally get cold sores. I know I never have, nor have I thought to ask. Some people are prone to athlete's foot, catch colds or D&V more easily and spread them to the rest of the household. Unless you have a highly contagious life altering condition you don't need to give prospective partners a full medical run down before you start dating.

OP, I have been thinking about this. I think maybe changing HOW you tell someone may help. I don't think you should wait months, but certainly leave It for the first few dates until you know that he really likes you.

What you could say, in an STI conversion is that you get coldsores, but you also get the odd one "down below" after a guy with them raped you. That way, you are explaining what it is, but also that it is the coldsore type. Then you don't have to mention the word herpes at all.

Do you think that would help?

Also, It's fine to have a discussion about when you were both last tested for STIs. I have asked everyone I have slept with in recent years and I don't go near them until they have had one. If they don't like it, they can jog on.

If they haven't been tested, they may well have something themselves anyway!

@Letseatgrandma You are clearly not aware that empathy, compassion and tact are traits of a nice person. Maybe try those things sometime?

www.newsweek.com/herpes-cold-sore-std-89411

What a ridiculous question. I get coldsores my dh never had one. Mainly when I'm run Down. 2 days after our dd was born I had an outbreak. Its a different strain to the STD virus.

What I do when I start dating is wait until sex is on the cards and casually say 'oh by the way I have the cold sore virus - I haven't had one for years (true) but hypothetically I could pass it on. Have you ever had a cold sore?" Most men say yes they have had a cold sore, so the subject is closed

Code, that's kind of sneaky and not really the same. It isn't a cold sore when it's on your genitals. Saying otherwise is very misleading.

It isn't a cold sore when it's on your genitals

If it isn't a cold sore when it's on your genitals, then it isn't a cold sore when it's your mouth. Cold sore is not a medical term. Both types of blisters are caused by the herpes virus. Both present the same symptoms and have the same treatment options. The only difference between them is that one is on your face, the other is between your legs.

A tiny minority of people infected with HSV2 may present flu like symptoms when first infected and HSV2 is less contagious. That's literally the only difference. You can't even differentiate between HSV1 and HSV2 based on where on the body as they appear as you can get HSV2 on your mouth and HSV1 on your fanny, though these cases are unusual.

Please dont be so disingenuous! most people know cold sore is on the lip, i still think its devious and misleading.

See the replies here everyone else was talking about cold sore as lip sores except for a couple overstretching the truth.

You can't say its no big deal or i am being honest but then use deliberately ans commonly misleading names. Please.

She said “the coldsore virus” it is the coldsore virus. I get your point it’s common vernacular but it is a bloody coldsore exactly the same. And it can also cause flu like symptoms (in the first outbreak (reference Hopkins) so literally exactly the same.

Which I didn’t get actually so maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe if had it before and never realised? ex DH once had a spot on him, so maybe it was him and I never knew and PP was right I only got the spot when being tested post rape as I was damaged and my immune system low? I’d like to think that!

Frequency I’m basically going to screenshot your post about the bigger picture, and the PP whose DH is a Dr and read them every time I need to get a grip.

SirChing you also could be right, I said it like it was a MASSIVE deal (as it is to me), so probably the wrong way.

@Coughy4u it literally is a cold sore! I had it swabbed when I first got it and it's type 1 - exactly the same strain that usually causes cold sores. Cold sores are just the name given to herpes sores on the face, the virus can take hold either on the face or the genitals but it's exactly the same.
I caught it from receiving oral sex. Anyone who has sex with someone with the cold sore virus (whether it lives in the neck or the spine) is at risk of getting sores either on the face or genitals. It is LITERALLY the same thing.

@Coughy4u the only reason you think I'm being dishonest is because you are stigmatising the site of the outbreaks. There is no difference in health outcomes or symptoms between the neck and the spine, they are just different sites of the body. Insisting that they are somehow different because one is passed on through sexual contact is incorrect and frankly appalling.

Of course, what a bizarre question.

Oh I see, it's actually about genital herpes. That's different IMO.

Oh I see, it's actually about genital herpes. That's different IMO

Not really, and why?

Can one of the few posters who think herpes is somehow different when it's on genitalia and not faces, please explain, using medical facts, how they are different?

A lot of people have had coldsores at some point in the past (very often due to family members!), so no it's not something that would weigh heavily on my mind.