Would you date someone who had a coldsore in the past?

[Onewardsup]

YABU - no
YANBU - yes

Not talking an active one and a date right now, just someone that gets them, maybe just one coldsore (so Herpes), a year, 2 years, 5 years ago!

And yes I have another thread to those who have read it. Just wanting a poll, thanks.

Bobby I call bullshit, you have asked EVERY partner to get STD checked before even kissing, and they ALL said yes??

You know you definitely already have herpes of some form, just not genital? And they don’t check for HPV or HSV of any type in clinics?

Also do you live in a bubble to avoid infection of any type from other humans? Only (not that I have any) most are the same as a common cold, or noro, or hand foot and mouth or something, only just, you know, sex

It's not really something people ask though is it? It's not something you need to tell someone before you date them, it would just be odd, e.g. 'oh yes, a drink would be lovely, but I did have a cold sore three years ago'. Just don't kiss anyone or give oral sex when you've got one. I think you may be worrying too much!

Yes I would.
My ex got them when she was poorly or stressed.
I’ve never had one yet and we broke up almost 5 years ago!

Yes

Would you have sex with someone with genital herpes, @rochellegoyle ?

@BobbyBlueCat

“If they genuinely didn't know they had the virus then did get one? I'd dump them. But be nice about it although honest as to my reasons.”

But what if it was actually you who had passed the virus onto them, seeing as many people have it but just don’t realise they do as they’ve never had any symptoms? Or what it they’d already passed it onto you - would you still dump them but then see yourself as indateable?

Letseat Not knowingly if someone had current sores but I wasn't talking about having sex with, I was talking about asking about mouth cold sores prior to dating. I tend to want to date someone before I decide whether to have sex with them!

@Onewardsup yes, I've asked every single one to be tested. And they all have agreed.
I've not slept with dozens of men and never had a one night stand though so it's not like hundreds needed asked.

It's my opinion and the way I've chosen to live my life. Just as you have your opinion.

Your asked for opinions. You've had mine. You won't change it.

I don't care if there's a less than 1% chance of catching it from an infected person or a 99% chance of catching it. I don't want it regardless.

And I've done spectacularly well so far of staying clear!

BobbyBlueCat would you divorce for it? Or if you had children before their first sore came out would you still dump them?

I’ve had them since being a small child (probably passed on by a family member kissing me, so... thanks for that) but get them sometimes, mainly when I’m rundown. Fiancé only kisses cheek/forehead during and has never caught it in 5+ years.

good luck with the screening process.... most of us have some sort of HPV after a few years in the pens

@BobblyBluecat it's quite difficult to test for reliably.

I'd wager at least one of your partners was fibbing

I would be interested as to how they have tested as there are no reliable tests on the NHS, or any standard ones unless someone has genital symptoms.

I think I’m right when I say it’s so common that it’s actually tested for when you start fertility treatment such as IVF/ICSI because the HFEA won’t pair up a egg and sperm where one doesn’t have the virus already in it? (Might be donors only)

No you're not being unreasonable. Just freaking judgemental.

Weirdly I've never dated anyone who has got them but I do get them. None of my partners have ever complained but I was always very careful and have never passed them on and hopefully never will. Its a horrible virus I wouldn't wish on anyone*

*not true, I would wish it on some people

Eh yes of course?? It's not exactly life threatening.

I can’t think of any reason why you wouldn’t? My 12 year old gets them prior to every assessment or big event, I get them, as did my mother. DH and other 3 kids never do.
That’s like saying would you ever date someone who has, in the past had thrush or atheletes foot. Why wouldn’t you?

I would not. I'm immune compromised and it could really make me sick and I'd get the infections more often and more severely than non compromised folks. I've been married 16 years together 17 though so it's not really a worry at this point haha. I don't kiss people that aren't hubby and vice versa.

Are you going to also ask the question which you really want to know the answer to, @Onewardsup?

Would you sleep with someone with genital herpes?

What an absolutely stupid way to think!!!! I've suffered all my life, my husband of almost 14 years has never caught one. You sound like the kind of person that makes us sufferers feel bad that we're suffering!!!!!!!

What a ridulous question 🙄

Of course! I've got them on and off since I was a wee thing. I've never thought it would be an impediment to dating and it never has been. I'm married now and my husband doesn't get them but then I've not had one since we've been together (6 years).

Seems like you need to read up about the difference between genital herpes and the cold sore type....bit judgemental, no?

I'd date someone who had had a cold sore yes - like my husband of 21 years. I have never had one, he gets them now and again.