AIBU not not pay for bridesmaids hair?

[tomatoo]

We started wedding planning 2 years ago when we were doing fine with money, so booked an expensive venue. We have since bought a moneypit of a house and also have 2 preschool kids, so childcare costs are high.
I chose 6 bridesmaids (2 years ago). We have paid for their dresses. We wanted to pay for their accommodation too, but we just can't afford it now. I'm obviously paying for their flowers.
AIBU to ask them to pay for their hair / makeup if they want it done?
I don't care how they have their hair or makeup or if they have it done at all. I am not getting my makeup professionally done because we can't afford. I was planning on paying for us all to have our hair done, but having received quotes we can't afford it.
Not that it matters but none of the bridesmaids have children or financial issues (that I know of).
The groom isn't having any groomsmen because we can't afford suits so I feel it's really unfair (of me) that I have chosen 6 bridesmaids and we are paying for their dresses, flowers. I think paying their hair might just push DP over the edge!

I didn’t pay for mine, I told them the salon I was using and said they could book in if they wanted. 2 did, 2 didn’t. Like you I didn’t mind what they did with their hair. If you want a specific style I think you’ve got to pay.

I think that would be fine, especially if you're not having your make up done professionally.

You're not having your makeup done professionally but are you having your hair done?

Can you explain your situation? I'm sure they'll understand and be fine with it. If you can't afford it then there's not much you can do.
When my DH was an usher for his BF, he wore his own suit. Can't your DH do the same?

YANBU. As you've said they can wear their hair and have whatever makeup they want then no problem. Unreasonable would be booking hairdresser and make up artist and then expecting them to pay.

Seeing you don't care how they have their hair or makeup or if they have it done at all, I'd say it's perfectly fine.

I think that's fine. Different if you were demanding they pay for professionals themselves but if you don't mind I think that's OK.

@Cohle not that unusual, i had my hair done as i needed it to stay in place but wanted to do my own makeup as i never like how anyone else does it!

Just explain OP, they're close enough to be bridesmaids so should understand.

Sorry @Cohle - transposed the 'you' and 'are'. My bad!

If you're not having your makeup done, just make it clear to everyone that you aren't and so to expect that they need to do their own on the day. It'll be a bit weird if some have professional makeup and some don't.

Again, if you say you are doing your own hair and you don't have a set look you are wanting, it leaves it up to them. I'd imagine once most know you aren't having your hair done, they'll decide to do their own too. I learnt how to do my own wedding hair from youtube videos

YANBU. You should pay for anything you insist on them doing. So if you want them to wear a particular dress (which is usually the case) you should pay for it. Likewise if you want their hair done professionally you pay. Since you don't insist on a particular hair do it's fine not to pay.

I've been a bridesmaid loads and noone has ever paid for my hair to be done. It had never occurred to me

I don't think that would be unusual, I was just asking if that was the case.

The fact that they are childless is irrelevant. I'm sick of people assuming childless = tons of disposable cash. Utter crap.

If you can't afford their hair, you need to give them plenty of notice and explain that they could so their own hair if needed.

I was planning on paying for us all to have our hair done, but having received quotes we can't afford it.
Did you tell them you were paying? If so, just explain your change of circumstances and apologise for not being able to do so.

Did you tell them you were paying for their accommodation too and do they know now that they have to pay for it?

If they are close enough to be your bridesmaids then they should be close enough to understand.

If I was one of your SIX bridesmaids I would be more concerned about having to pay for accommodation at an expensive venue when you were paying for it. How did they take that news?

YABU, extremely unreasonable.

Your financial situation has changed, that’s your responsibility. 6 bridesmaids is a lot. IMO you should pay for the dress, shoes and flowers, if you can’t afford them then reduce the number of bridesmaids. If you can’t afford to pay for hair and makeup then do each others’ together.

The groom isn't having any groomsmen because we can't afford suits so I feel it's really unfair (of me) that I have chosen 6 bridesmaids and we are paying for their dresses, flowers. I think paying their hair might just push DP over the edge!

Tbh you're meant to pay for dresses and flowers. Are you expecting them to pay for accommodation?

If you've not asked them to get their hair or makeup done then I think that's fine.

How is the accommodation now being sorted.
Why would you have 6 bridesmaids, no groomsmen at all and then turn up as the bride without even looking like one.
Cancel the bridesmaids, and get your hair and makeup done instead. I think that would be something you would regret.

I don’t think children has anything to do with it. People without children have bills too and your lifestyle choices were not theirs to make so they shouldn’t have to pick up cots because of your budget.

If having wedding with bridesmaids I would expect the dresses, shoes, hair and hotel costs to be paid as standard. It shouldn’t cost them anything to be part of the wedding party.

I agree with a pp, hair and make-up wouldn't bother me, paying for accommodation would.

YADNBU as you are not insisting they have their hair and make up done professionally. If you are happy for them to do their own, then it becomes their choice whether you not they want to pay to have it done.

Do they need to stay over because you are getting married in the middle of nowhere?