AIBU not not pay for bridesmaids hair?

[tomatoo]

We started wedding planning 2 years ago when we were doing fine with money, so booked an expensive venue. We have since bought a moneypit of a house and also have 2 preschool kids, so childcare costs are high.
I chose 6 bridesmaids (2 years ago). We have paid for their dresses. We wanted to pay for their accommodation too, but we just can't afford it now. I'm obviously paying for their flowers.
AIBU to ask them to pay for their hair / makeup if they want it done?
I don't care how they have their hair or makeup or if they have it done at all. I am not getting my makeup professionally done because we can't afford. I was planning on paying for us all to have our hair done, but having received quotes we can't afford it.
Not that it matters but none of the bridesmaids have children or financial issues (that I know of).
The groom isn't having any groomsmen because we can't afford suits so I feel it's really unfair (of me) that I have chosen 6 bridesmaids and we are paying for their dresses, flowers. I think paying their hair might just push DP over the edge!

YABU to have 6 bridesmaids when you can't afford them.

Send a message out explaining the situation and how you're happy to go ahead with 6 but can't pay for hair/make up and you aren't having yours done either. Also mention that your husband isn't having groomsmen now so if any of them aren't really excited about being bridesmaid then you'd be happy to reduce the number with no hard feelings as it might make the day more enjoyable for them.

I can't understand why you'd go ahead with 6 bridesmaids and no groomsmen. It will look really odd IMO.

If you’d only paid deposit on venue I’d be looking to move to somewhere you can afford?

I think if you’re happy for them to do what they want with their hair then it’s fine but if you start saying you’d like them to have it a certain way etc then I think you have to pay for it to be done properly.

I'd have thought two bridesmaid was plenty - you don't have to invite everyone you know! And what are groomsmen ... some American import? Surely the groom has a best man who wears his own suit.

I think that's fine, OP. If you were saying that they HAD to get their hair and make-up done, then that would be different!
Enjoy your wedding!

I have been a bridesmaid twice in the past 10 years. The first I was chief bridesmaid (sisters wedding). Sister bought my dress, sorted the flowers & my tiara. I paid for my hair to be styled, shoes & did my own make up. Close friend of mine who is a qualified did the nails as a wedding gift.
Second wedding I was one of 2 bridesmaids. Bride paid for dress & flowers. I paid for nails, shoes, hair styling & did my own make up.
On both occasions I have been happy to do my own make up as I think that sometimes make up done by an MUA can look a bit heavy handed & all my own make up is chosen by me for me! I am however, useless at styling my hair so would rather pay for the luxury of somebody else to do it.
If your friends are understanding, then I can't see an issue with you asking them to pay for their own make up and/or hair if they feel they need to.

I saw the title and thought what a cheek until I read your post and I think perfectly fine not to pay if you are happy with them doing it themselves, they could presumably just have their hair blow dried on the morning of the wedding which would surely be affordable for them.

If you don't mind how they wear their hair, then I think it's fine not to pay.

Absolutely fine OP. They'd more than likely be getting their hair done/ blow dried even just to be a guest at the wedding anyway or else doing it nicely themselves if they are that way inclined.

I've had both and definitely preferred doing make up myself, less chance everyone looks like an extra from rocky horror.

Can't do my own hair for toffee, happy to pay for a blow dry.

Anyone remember Janice from next door turning Becky into Radiant Spring Bride?

Have a great wedding. Enjoy it, sounds like it'll be quite the party!

Totally fair!

YANBU for letting people sort out their own hair and make up.

I do think YABU for straining your finances the way you do. My parents did this and have ended up stressing over money my whole life. It's put a strain on their relationship and it wasn't fun for us kids. Make sure you have a buffer.

We aren't cancelling anything- have already put so much time and money into the wedding planning. We'd loose so much on the deposits. A lot of people have booked and paid their accommodation. The wedding isn't long away now.

By careful you don't fall for the sunk-cost fallacy. The money is already gone. The trick is not spending an other outrageous amount more.

No it s fine. Just make it clear in advance in case they want to drop out