Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

So sorry to hear of your previous experience with the violent ex.

I’m a senior woman in the City and make an effort to dress well. It’s lovely to get compliments from others - a lot of the younger ones in particular will comment on my bags, shoes, jewellery. But it works both ways, I’m so often inspired by others. Ignore the negative comments. It’s nice to make the effort and great for self esteem. Win-win.

I replied to your posts about your office situation.

You're very close to losing one of the sympathetic voices in this thread.
My best suggestion is that you get some sleep and improve your attitude.

I'm starting to think you get comments not because of your clothes but because of how you address your colleagues at work, if this thread is anything to go by.

I don't need a sympathetic voice.

Street:

"Women are exceptionally judgemental about what other women wear in the workplace. They don’t like other women to look nice at work ......"

Nope! What a generalisation! I love women looking nice at work.

Those outfits are very striking. Red shoes on one, asymmetric evening type skirt on the other. You're obviously very well put together and 'overdressed' sounds like a very critical word - however I would say those outfits are so smart to me it's the type of things I would wear to a wedding.

I love those outfits, there’s nothing wrong with them at all.

Of course you’re not trying to make anyone feel insecure, unfortunately some women are just like this? They need to fix their own troubles rather than transferring their insecurities on to you.

I don't need a sympathetic voice.
Then it's a pointless thread. Just ignore your colleagues.

Well done, btw.

Ok, I expected criticism lol. I will take them down soon when HQ get to work in case anyone recognises me!

My point is, that, I don't go to much effort really - the dress and skirt in the photos don't need ironing. I do seem to spend half my life ironing white tops however...

The dress was on sale from Dorothy Perkins (I wear it about once a fortnight) and the skirt was about a fiver at a market stall. Cue the onslaught of posters telling me that it looks as cheap as I look lol.

I have had comments, ironically made by the two people that look the scruffiest. It’s their choice to look and behave as they want. It’s my choice to look as I do and I’m not hurting anyone else so I’ll continue to dress well

Love the outfits OP and especially the silver/ gold shoes. Looks similar to the work wear I have and wear in my office - I’m one of a few also who “dresses” for work. I think carry on with what you’re wearing - it’s professional and smart. You’re in an office. Some of the people I work with don’t make any effort to think about what they wear to work/ come in with wet hair etc. I often think they look very unprofessional - though don’t say that to them of course. Would ignore the ones who are discussing your attire - forget about them, you look great.

I tend to dress more formally than others at work and yes I’ve had comments! We’re in an environment where there’s literally every style from suits to tracksuits although the prevailing mode is more casual, and although I’d wear that sometimes I feel a bit slobby at work in too-casual clothes so I prefer a dress, jumper and skirt etc. I’ve had to lay off the pencil skirts and heels as I just stood out too much to feel comfortable.

I also wear make-up every day. I literally take 2 minutes to put it on (timed myself once!) but I often get women defensively telling me why they don’t wear any or how they don’t have time...I couldn’t care less! Me wearing make up isn’t a judgement on them not wearing it.

Those skirts look typical office wear, not going out attire to me.

If I dress up for work I usually get 'ooh have you got an interview? Good luck' 😂

The gold shoes are from Next and are really soft inside and easy to wear. The red shoes are from New Look (not there anymore as I've tried to find them again as they're fabric and getting scuffed). I wear black and white a lot so tend to mix it up with my shoes. As I said, my dress sense is not remotely remarkable.

I used to get this from other women at work, but they had a different job to me, I needed to be smart as I was meeting clients and suppliers. They were working in another office with a completely different job. I think it’s jealousy to be honest, I was determined to get on in life and do well and it’s something they can pick at. I am the same as other posters though I can be wearing tracksuit bottoms and a t shirt and still end up looking done up as everything has to be matching and thought about. I guess that’s just me and I’m happy and not harming anyone, wha5 other women think is their problem not mine.

Your ex was awful op!
You look beautiful. I love that you take pride in how you look.
Don’t dress for others.

I don’t think it’s just the clothes OP, I think your colleagues are probably envious of how slim you are too.
You look lovely

*I think your posts are confusing. On one hand

My gripe is with women feeling the need to comment on the apparent effort I go to.

but then

For the record - I dress up for me

I dont get the issue here at all- we all dress for ourselves, that doesnt mean we feel great when people make shitty remarks or criticise us does it? So fcking what if the OP wants to make an effort with dressing up?- thats her business and as long as its appropriate work attire commenting on people's appearances should be left in the playground. I love how people are defending her bitchy co workers right to be nasty yet if OP was overweight and they had commented on that they'd be flayed alive and called bitches.

There is no difference whatsoever- you dont make nasty or snide remarks about people's appearances full stop. Of course inside your head you can think what you want but not every thought that enters our head needs to be said out loud- especially if its an unkind judgement on what someone looks like. I also love the comments about being "on the pull"- what an outdated and mysogynistic attitude, I thought it was 2020 not 1970.

OP- continue dressing as you are- you look great and you have done nothing wrong. The people that make snide or mean comments are doing so from a place of envy and insecurity.

Thanks for the lovely comments. I didn't post the pics fishing for compliments, but they are very welcome! I've reported the post so hopefully HQ will take it down soon.

Thanks for the info on the shoes - will take a look! I wear a lot of coloured shoes also and have colours bags sometimes to match.
Seems your colleagues have an issue rather than you OP. Good for you for taking time to look professional - and I saw you work in the city so not out of place at all I wouldn’t have thought but more normal to be dressed and “groomed”.

I think most women have been on the receiving end of snide comments from other woman at one point.
Your thread has brought back memories of my nail and tan fancy clothes.
2 DC 12 years and shift work later I rarely make a big effort. Other than tan and shellac Thursday.
I think your thread has inspired me to get it together. As long as you feel great in the skin your in.
Personally I love to see someone keeping themselves well. There is a lady around here 30's she always looks amazing, flowing dresses high boots beautiful coats. She brightens up the school run on her way to work.

*coloured bags