Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

I think your colleagues will have an issue with you no matter what style you chose.

Still with the sly digs? Get over yourself.

I hope 2020 brings you some self awareness

And keep at it. You're only showing yourself up.

OP you seems a little bit hung up on the wearing of high heels...

I'm not hung up on anything, but thanks for the invaluable input to the discussion,

You're only showing yourself up.

I thought that was you at work? Hence the thread.

😂😂 Sorry I cant help it, you make it so easy.

Honestly the self awareness thing wasn't a joke, you may find it useful rather than assuming everyone else has the issue.

I'm clearly not showing myself up as at every yearly review I get 'exceptional' for Dress Code. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I also get 'Exceptional' for 'Taking initiative', 'Punctuality', 'Professionalism' 'Knowledge of role' among others.

My work attire is not inappropriate, but I probably look like I've made more of an effort than most. I was just asking whether other people found that women felt the need to make snide little comments a little like you're doing on this thread antlady. Some people have commented on-topic and some like you have just tried to get a dig in at me for reasons best known to yourself.

So you haven't made any snide comments? Are you really that blind?

well not if you're going to the local curry house - no

Well you obviously think you look glamorous with no make up or heels. That's your opinion

And this is brilliant! 🤣🤣

I'm clearly not showing myself up as at every yearly review I get 'exceptional' for Dress Code.

Muppet

People aren't making snide comments or having a dig at you because of the way you dress. Like I said self awareness.....

But don't take it on board & continue to be perplexed why people behave a certain way towards you.

@antlady Since both my well-hooved self and this thread appear to be raising your blood pressure, I suggest you find another thread to stalk.

They say you should dress for the job you want! If they said anything again I’d remind them that your not planning to hang around with their petty asses for your entire career - that should shut them up.

As for dressing nicely for work - good on you! There’s no shame whatsoever in taking pride in your appearance!

Ugh I hate women that do that OP.

I don't think it's because they're jealous as such, I think they take you dressing well as some sort of insult to them.

Please don't change if you like the way you dress, life's too short.

What one person thinks of as appropriate, another may think inappropriate. In officewear.
There is a very fine line between impeccably dressed and overdressed.

A pencil skirt and shirt/blouse can be very smart. It can equally be ott and tarty.

Only pictures will show. And even then you'd probably get a split opinion.

Never lower yourself to other people's standards

Thanks ladies! It's just me I suppose.

Golly, some really horrid comments towards OP on this thread.

I dress well (I think) and you do get the odd comment from other women. I noticed it when my children were small, there was almost an implication that whilst I was applying make up my children were playing with matches.

I enjoy fashion and make up and feel better when I look good but don't give a fig if other people don't care.

I don’t think they’re jealous either. I think you looking great is causing them to feel insecure.
It’s their issue, not yours.

Are you actually overdressed though?

Women are exceptionally judgemental about what other women wear in the workplace. They don’t like other women to look nice at work but at the same time if they don’t look nice enough they will also be judged.

Very strange behaviour which I will never understand, and from 25 years of working in offices it is the vast majority of women who judge other women like this.

They often can’t even keep their opinions to themselves. They just have to say something, like the PA digs described by the OP. Awful.

I'm clearly not showing myself up as at every yearly review I get 'exceptional' for Dress Code.

I have never, ever, worked anywhere where "dress code" was part of the appraisal.

If ever anyone was regularly dressed in a way that was inappropriate, their manager would have a quiet word.

Actually, not quite: a new chief officer in one local authority sent an all-staff email to his department saying the they were too scruffy and he wanted them all in shirts and ties, completely forgetting that at least half his staff were women, but he was a colossal arse and didn't last 5 minutes, plus the department was highways so they were often on muddy sites and at road-mending depots.

Never get involved in 5 am fights.
I hope you're in the US or Australia, otherwise it's going to be a rough day.

Anyway... I'm surprised how people dress is part of amy evaluation. It's a problem if dressing like you say you do is valued over how your colleagues do, unless they go in pjs or there's a dress code that they don't follow. It's not your fault, if that's an issue, but all of you women should question if wearing pencil skirts and heels is valued over flats and smart trousers. In fact, if no code and no significant public roles, if any clothes are valued over others.
If clothes are being evaluated, then there should be a dress code, and one that should be sensible but not perpetuate sexist stereotypes.

Can you explain what the situation is in your office?

I haven't worked in an office with women for many years and the men I work with dont seem to make any comments on anyone's appearance. But I will say when I worked in an office with more women there were 2 women who would be noticeably more dressed up. One would get back handed comments (not by me) like you mention and the other would either get no comment or a genuine compliment. This was down to their personalities to be honest. The one who received bank handed compliments was attention seeking and hard work. I'm sorry OP but I expect your colleagues just don't like you and this is their way of expressing it. Just ignore them and wear what you want.

Thank you jellybean. I certainly don't dress well to make anyone feel insecure, I dress well for myself. If I know I'm well turned out, that's it, I can get on with work.

Years ago, I was good friends with (shared a house) a fella who worked in the city (I do too, just not in finance). After a night out, where bosses would be keeping an eye on who showed up late or looked a little under the weather, he'd wear his three piece suit. Good advice I thought! Likewise after a night I'd make sure to come in 15 minutes early. By 3pm I was od-ing on coffee, but nobody would have known that I was doing tequila at 2am the night before lol

You lost me over the curry house business. We lived in London for 30 odd years and regularly went to the starred restaurants. Still do with DH's clients. Mostly people are smart casual and it's the same at Covent Garden, Wimbledon, etc, nowadays.

I'm not sure heels and tight skirts extrapolate to dressing well although they certainly represent dressing up. I'm also somewhat askance re dress code being part of an annual review.

I work in a very relaxed environment but because I'm senior I dress relatively formally but tend to wear dresses, often wrap dresses, often M&S, Boden, Jigsaw. Never heels - I don't need to physically tower over anyone, least of all men. That should be done intellectually.

It's also about blending. I don't want to stand out. I just want to be tidy and well groomed and seem natural and unprimped. Surely it's better to be noticed for the quality of one's work or team than one's clothes that shouldn't attract comments, either way, in a professional workplace.

That's not to say I don't wear make-up every day, do my hair and have it cut and well coloured, and wear foundation, blusher, mascara and lipstick. Today I shall black ankle grazers, good loafers, a silk black and beige blouse and a fitted long line cardigan. Nobody will comment.

On that note must get going and get myself there. I susoect you need to tone it down a bit op in the nicest possible way

Lweji - I've explained the situation in the office if you read my earlier posts.

I'm off until the 10th! Time to polish my nails and do my fake tan before I'm back to work ;)