Cards against humanity - angry friend

[CareBear50]

Last night we had a bit of a get together with v close friends and family. There were about 5 or 6 of us. I had been given Cards Against Humanity for Christmas and decided to play a game of it.

I explained the premise of the game to everyone and explained how it worked. I said some might find it offensive (and gave some harsh examples) but just wanted to make sure everyone was ok about it before we played as I knew some people might not like it. I explained if they were uncomfortable it was perfectly fine to say no. No one objected.

Everyone played the game.

Anyway - I called in to my friends house earlier to say hi and he had a go at me four times, complaining that the game was not ok. On four separate occasions I told him that I had given him the opportunity to opt out, along with everyone else, and if he didn't want to play that was fine. In the end I told him you have no right to complain after the fact, if you say nothing when we were playing it or before we started, as I am not a mind-reader and in such a small group you could easily have aired your concerns.

This person is normally quite vocal and no shrinking violet.

Was I being unreasonable?

The Jade Goody one is legit, I had it as a card a few years ago! It definitely got the most winces when it got played.

My 10mo DD got into our pack the other day as she's just discovered the board game shelf and I came in to find her waving around the 'Smegma' card Think we'll need to find a new home for them!

I don't think the JG one is in there any more, probably because she isn't that well-known now so it's been superseded by more recent stuff. It's certainly not in the UK pack we bought a couple of months ago but there were some more recent pop culture references.

How is it clever?! You are literally just reading what someone else wrote for you, it’s not difficult to read what options you have and see which one works best! I’m not a massive fan of Frankie Boyle, but at least he writes his own jokes!

Calm down, dear. Remember what I said earlier about being a mature adult? If not, I'll remind you: Everyone likes and dislikes different things.

Greyt "I am assuming you are white?"

No, I'm not.

I'm genuinely depressed by all the identity politics going on but trying to reassure myself that it's mostly MN and the London bubble I live in.

sorry, folks, you were discussing CAH - which to a North Londoner is a South Londoner way of saying "cow". (sorry).

Greyt why did you assume I am white btw? It's a discussion board, how would anyone have a clue unless they did an Advanced Search?

We love that game. However, one couple we played it with we had an amazing time, absolutely roared with laughter for 2 hours 😂😂 Another couple we had to stop after about 10 minutes as it was just so awkward 🤦‍♀️ No biggie though, you just have to know who the right people are to play with!

Greyt why did you assume I am white btw? It's a discussion board, how would anyone have a clue unless they did an Advanced Search

if you weren't white than you wouldn't be asking why everything is about colour these days....

When you have had to deal with constant prejudice because of the colour of your skin its pretty easy to figure out those who are clueless to their own white privilege pretty quickly.

I didn't see your post saying that you weren't white @AutumnRose1 in that case, you are very fortunate to not have lived a life where you should understand why colour is important "these days"

Greyt "if you weren't white than you wouldn't be asking why everything is about colour these days...."

Sigh.

There are certain terms in the game, that I could easily find ‘triggering’ because of some terrible experiences in my past, but I am still here to tell the tale, and enjoyed the game very much. I appreciate its not for everyone and as always you can opt out.

The game just presents literal words/statements on cards. They are not harmful or unsafe as they are presented imo, the game is about exploring the way we humans find language either offensive or not offensive, depending on how words are used and combined either accidentally or otherwise. I find it clever in that sense, I have deliberately lost the game due to just not being able to play the combos I am left with, the cringe factor is high and that’s where the humour lies for me, the squirming in people finding it tough to play otherwise seemingly innocuous words and statements played together.

Despite all that, The issue here, is a grown man refusing to take responsibility for his own choices and everyone now blaming the OP for his assumed past experiences that we don’t even know have actually happened.

OP, I'm hoping you and your friend can patch it up btw.

On another note, It can be weirdly educational, I had no idea what ‘cottaging’ or a ‘fleshlight’ were until I played...

We had fun explaining 'bukkake' to my rather innocent SIL

Yes Dipsy, that was another high cringe google for me... 😂

Oedipus Complex was a new one for me. had to google that.

@GreytExpectations I disagree that my comment was patronising. I think it's reasonable to ask fans of a game that normalises jokes about BAME people, rape, child abuse and genocide (among other things) to explain their thought process.

normalises jokes about BAME people, rape, child abuse and genocide (among other things) to explain their thought process.

That's the thing. The game isn't normalising it at all, that really isn't the point of it. If you think a game mimics real life than you may need to be better educated. Also, there is a card with "white people" on so the jokes aren't just BAME...

Just to add, I don’t think muddying the waters with cards that are made online by randomers and are not even in the actual game Is very helpful to the discourse.

By all means critique the true content, but not some made up shite.

So can someone explain why the Jade Goody one is funny?

Unfortunately, as this thread displays it is often the white privileged people who seem to get "outraged" on behalf of those who are not white or privileged

You are massively assuming that 'outrage' is on behalf of other people. You know fuck all about people's lives on here, what shit they have to put up with - and when so called comedians like Frankie Boyle come out with some of their shit, people then get called 'snowflakes' and 'easily offended' or 'outraged for someone else' when they speak up and say 'that's not right'.

You know fuck all about other people on here.

Ineed, the packs I have played didn’t have the Jade Goody card in, or I certainly didn’t come across it.

So can someone explain why the Jade Goody one is funny?

The game isn't about individual cards, it's the overall idea of selecting ones for phrases. You obviously don't play the game so it would be out of context for you to grasp people's opinions on using that card. I suspect you are asking to try and be goady however, I personally don't find that card funny in any of the phrases. Again, it's not really about a card being funny.

I personally don't find that card funny in any of the phrases. Again, it's not really about a card being funny

So if you were playing the game and someone said something with that card, would you say something?

Or keep your thoughts to yourself?

My B and SIL play this all the time. They know I wouldn’t enjoy it so don’t expect me to play. I don’t think they are outrageous and they don’t think I’m a snowflake. We are all adults and therefore entitled to our own opinions. In the OPs case, the friend should have said something at the time.

There's something a bit ironic about the fact that some of those who have been most 'offended' on this thread have they themselves been the most offensive by calling others names. Quite telling! I guess it's a case of do as I say, not as I do?