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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH is refusing to buy me medicine

551 replies

bloodyperiod1 · 01/01/2020 22:13

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate? Sad

OP posts:
Newyear2020 · 02/01/2020 00:33

Paracetamol is for mild pain and if the cramps go away with that then couldn’t you really you could just do without? I can understand taking it at work when you need to get something done, but if youre at home relaxing can’t you just manage without?

dontgobaconmyheart · 02/01/2020 00:43

Just disappointing isn't it really, that he is showing himself up to be a twat.

No judgement op really but with a partner that useless I would stock up. Paracetamol isn't a particularly powerful or helpful painkiller for period pain. I would speak to your GP if the pain is severe, or try ibuprofen lysine (usually branded as migraine relief but the same stuff as femonax etc which is hugely inflated in price Hmm). If that isn't sufficient your GP can prescribe something or investigate further. Try a warm bath or a hot water bottle in the meantime.

theflushedzebra · 02/01/2020 00:51

The more I read about people’s husbands on Mumsnet, the more I realise I’m married to what amounts to a saint. Why are all these women with all of these terrible men?!

I feel the same. I know my Dh would do this for me - but OP, please make sure you're stocked up in future, so that you don't have to go through this!

I feel OP's pain, I have horrific period pains sometimes - they can be incapacitating. DH got me the strongest fucker painkillers once - we were out and I was suffering - they were the Nurofen melts I think - strong stuff - you don't need water to take them. Sorted it out in about 15 mins. The relief! I was doubled up in the car before that.

userxx · 02/01/2020 00:53

@slashlover I do the same. Living alone means you have to be self sufficient and prepared 👍.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2020 00:55

Wonder what the outcome was. My DH would have done it. I would have done it for him. I guess we are just nice to eat other.

Duck90 · 02/01/2020 01:12

I would not have asked! If the pain is so bad, monthly, I would be organised. My DP would help out in any emergency/unexpected illness but is this an emergency/or unexpected. Has he been sent out frequently at the last minute?

PanicAndRun · 02/01/2020 01:29

Wow ... I'll help you if you're dying in a ditch but not if you forgot to buy paracetamol? Yeah... that wouldn't work for me.

Next time he whinges something hurts or he forgot something or he fucked up, I'm sure you'll have more important things to do too. Like washing your hair. He can wait until you finish blow drying...you'll let him know when that is.

Poppyisa · 02/01/2020 01:36

I agree w ahenderson

Creepster · 02/01/2020 01:36

I'm so sorry.
It used to come crashing down on my cousin like this.

One time she discovered her DH had used all the midol and left an empty bottle on the shelf. Not being a total jerk he immediately drove to the all night shop to get her some pain relief.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 01:42

Why are people acting like this is such a huge inconvenience?

Me: "Hey darlin', how are you? Listen, these horrible cramps are back and I forgot to get painkillers. Could you quickly grab me some from the shop before it closes?"

DH: "No problem I will pop round in 2 minutes. Do we need milk or anything?"

It's hardly a massive ask. It also doesn't mean he can't go back to his friends' house.

bellinique · 02/01/2020 01:43

Gosh, there are a lot of smug Boy Scouts posting on this thread. Sometimes pain happens and you aren’t prepared and a decent partner would step in to help.

I can usually cope with my period pain fine but I remember it once hit me really hard when we were out at dinner on holiday. Stupid stupid me hadn’t prepared and didn’t have any painkillers with me despite knowing it was going to be that time. My partner left me in the restaurant for a few minutes to nip to the nearest pharmacy and got me some paracetamol. Very kind of him but surely what anybody else would do if they are feeling ok and can help a loved one easily?

Emmelina · 02/01/2020 01:48

As OP hasn’t returned to the thread I’m hoping she’s stocked now and pain free.

Go easy though ladies, so she ran out. It’s Christmas week, they may have got through the supplies faster than anticipated! It’s not unreasonable to ask her husband to grab an emergency pack on the way home.

PanicAndRun · 02/01/2020 01:50

OP might be very regular or not, we don't know.

I'm definitely not. It might come it might not, it might hurt like a bitch it might not, it might last ages it might not, there could be extra crampy random bleeding it might not.

And if we're out of painkillers that means OH took them all so it's his job to replace them when I need them. Although to be fair I keep a secret stash of the good stuff hidden so I don't really need him.Grin

Hospitalknickers · 02/01/2020 01:51

Agree with PPs, you should be prepared. Its pretty selfish of you to be blaming anyone else for you not having paracetamol when you know that you will need it.

Hospitalknickers · 02/01/2020 01:57

Glenda it depends entirely on the way OP has asked her DH. Who says that he wasn't going to just leave his friends and pop into the shop on way home? It's hardly worth posting on MN about it though is it? But of course we are supposed to make complaint about our DHs at every possible chance aren't we Hmm

Creepster · 02/01/2020 02:07

No you are not unreasonable to think he is being inconsiderate. He clearly is.
We have a right to expect our partner to act like they care about us when we are in pain.
Now you both know something about him that you did not know before.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:08

Tbh on the back of the information you have given, you sound unreasonable. If you always get bad pain a week before your period and know when your period is due, I wouldn’t have much sympathy for you asking someone else to buy you paracetamol at nearly 11pm when they are actually doing something else at the time and your request is therefore exceptionally irritating and inconvenient. Tomorrow morning, make an appointment with your GP to find out why you are getting period pain that you couldn’t have planned for properly half an hour before the shops close of an evening, because that’s very annoying and unnecessary.

pallisers · 02/01/2020 02:14

Tomorrow morning, make an appointment with your GP to find out why you are getting period pain that you couldn’t have planned for properly half an hour before the shops close of an evening, because that’s very annoying and unnecessary.

yeah OP. and while you are at it would you for fucks sake get over the idea that your husband who loves you owes you anything. That kind of expectation is very annoying and unnessary.

I'd hate to be friends with, still less be married to, many of the posters on this thread.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 02:17

But of course we are supposed to make a complaint about our DHs at every possible chance, aren't we

Only the crap ones.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:18

I’d hate to be married to someone who called me at 10pm to get me to bring them a mild painkiller they should already have a stock of at home, given their obvious regular use of said mild painkiller.

mysmidgey · 02/01/2020 02:19

Sometimes people run out of stuff. Shocking isn't it?! Maybe the dh had a headache and used the last of it? Who knows. Can't imagine leaving my oh at home in pain because 'I'm at a mates house'. My dh certainly wouldn't.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:24

I’d be happy to be left at home with period pain that can be sufficiently eased by paracetamol. A hot water bottle or warm bath is about as effective as the relief offered by paracetamol.

pallisers · 02/01/2020 02:24

I’d hate to be married to someone who called me at 10pm to get me to bring them a mild painkiller they should already have a stock of at home, given their obvious regular use of said mild painkiller.

I'd hate to be married to joyless, unkind you.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:27

Well, tbh, you sound a bit joyless and grumpy too, pallisers.

pallisers · 02/01/2020 02:30

Do I? Sorry. I just am used to family and in particular husbands wanting to help you and alleviate pain. From MN I realise this isn't a normal expectation - this was news to me so I might be a bit shocked.

I probably sound grumpy in the face of so many people telling the OP that it is unreasonable to expect the person who loves her to take 2 mins to go to the shop, another 2 mins to drop it to her and another 2 mins to go back to his mate's so she won't be left in pain.

blame my parents. they raised me like that.

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