DH is refusing to buy me medicine

[bloodyperiod1]

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate?

No, I do not see it as remotely hypocritical to criticise both the dh and the OP. Imvho it is unreasonable to choose paracetamol when you don’t actually have any in the house and have not tried other options first.

@Walkaround

but paracetamol was not available to the OP and she didn’t know whether it would work because she had never used it for her period cramps before

OP hadn’t used paracetamol before for these particular pains because they used to be manageable. That night they were much sharper hence she wanted to use paracetamol.

OP may very well use paracetamol during her period, which is why she may know that paracetamol does work for her pains.

@paranoidmum2

OP may very well use paracetamol during her period, which is why she may know that paracetamol does work for her pains.

So in that case, knowing her period was due soon, she surely would have started to stock up on paracetamol?
I, personally would be interested to hear from the OP on her view of things now it's a few days later, as to whether she still thinks she was being entirely reasonable and her DH wasn't...

No, I do not see it as remotely hypocritical to criticise both the dh and the OP.
That was not what I accused you of being hypocritical. You're not a politician by any chance, are you? It's like talking to Kellyanne Conway.

So in that case, knowing her period was due soon, she surely would have started to stock up on paracetamol?

Well my first post on this thread was asking OP if this was a rare or regular occurrence. I can see why having to get painkillers for your partner every month might be a pain but if it’s not a regular occurrence why wouldn’t you help your partner?

We’re none of us perfect, sometimes I’ve forgotten to buy the one thing I’ve gone to the supermarket to buy in the first place!

My husband ran out of diesel on a busy dual carriageway. I went driving out in a torrential downpour to take him a Jerry can, having to cross the dual carriageway by foot as I was parked on the opposite side. Yes I was annoyed but I did it and he hasn’t done it again. I would feel worse if he felt he couldn’t ask me and I felt that I couldn’t ask him.

paranoidmum2 - this is just ludicrous going round in circles and being repetitive, though. I have already said multiple times that none of us knows enough about these people or the situation to do anything other than act on our presumptions. You can presume all you like that she already knew paracetamol would work and knew that a warm bath followed by lying down with a hot water bottle would have been totally ineffective, but you don’t know that. So all the frothing at the mouth from posters at anyone suggesting that maybe the OP was being a bit unreasonable herself is frankly OTT. It’s a difference of opinion, not good v evil, ffs!

It’s not as if I’m even disagreeing that the dh should have got the paracetamol for her without question when asked. It’s truly bizarre how some people seem to obsess about having to try and prove that there was only one person remotely in the wrong in any situation.

So, I repeat: yes, the dh was unreasonable not to get the paracetamol when asked, but I also still think the OP was unreasonable to phone her dh when she did.

Lweji - sorry, I see what you mean about my saying that a warm bath and hot water bottle is just as effective as paracetamol - that was indeed a blanket statement based on my personal experience and previous medical advice. I still think if, as is clearly the case, she actually managed to sleep all night and not read any alternative suggestions from posters until the next morning that a warm bath and hot water bottle would most likely have provided all the relief she needed, so it’s not as if that changes my opinion, I’m afraid!

You can presume all you like that she already knew paracetamol would work and knew that a warm bath followed by lying down with a hot water bottle would have been totally ineffective, but you don’t know that.

But you presumed that OP had never used paracetamol for her period pains. So yes none of us know these people but you are also part of the going round in circles and repetition here!

I did not presume that, paranoidmum2 - she specifically said herself the next morning that she had never used pain relief for her cramps before.

Well she said ‘those odd sharp pains’ a few days before a period. She didn’t say she never takes pain relief for period pain.

On Thursday 2 January at 11.35am she specifically said “I’ve never taken any painkillers for it.”, paranoidmum2.

Actually she says “I always get cramps before my period, I mean those odd sharp pains you get here and there. They last seconds, and are bit painful but manageable. I’ve never taken any painkillers for it”.

That does not mean she doesn’t take pain killers during her actual period, when the pain may be worse.

Sorry, paranoidmum2, but that’s clutching at straws. Besides, she then went out and bought Nurofen, not paracetamol.

And the Nurofen was not for current use, but just in case, so not evidence that she normally uses paracetamol for any types of abdominal cramps.

Why is it clutching at straws?

Maybe she asked for paracetamol because it’s easier to obtain?

Clutching at straws because there is more evidence that is not the case than that it is the case. Either way, it’s utterly pointless arguing about the finer details of different interpretations. The fact is, we have different opinions on the evidence given, neither of which is so unreasonable that it justifies all the angry accusations of misogyny towards anyone who dares to suggest that the OP was anything other than in severe pain which she definitely knew would be cured by paracetamol and that there was absolutely no way she could possibly be anything other than entirely accurate about quite how little inconvenience would be required in getting it for her. I got the impression from the tone of her post that she was overplaying her side of the argument because she was angry with her dh and just wanted to vent on Mumsnet, and you got the impression that she was was less angry and more in agony which could only be eased by the immediate delivery of paracetamol, so there was no point trying anything else, and that her dh really was only 120 seconds from her front door. The insistence of some posters to minimise as much as humanly possible the timings and physical distances involved really didn’t help change the opinions of those of us who thought there was a bit of deliberately trying to make the dh out to be as awful as possible going on.

@Walkaround 👏👏👏

I get the impression that OP is minimising his behaviour. I think he is actually worse than what has been portrayed here.

Do you have kids, op? Do you keep basic supplies in the house for them?
Hot bath, hot water bottle.

paranoidmum2 - and that’s a perfectly valid opinion. One which posters not inclined to agree with you are much more likely to take seriously when stated like that, rather than in terms of anyone not agreeing with her phoning him when she did being an unempathetic, nasty misogynist who is defending a man who was either camped on his wife’s doorstep when he cruelly refused to help her, or lying and miles away with a mistress at the time.

Wow talk about kicking someone when down. I hope you feel better op.
So much for in sickness and in health if so many people think it is perfectly reasonable to leave your spouse and mother of your children in pain whilst you enjoy a night out.
Hell he didn't even need to go to the shop. He could have asked his mate for a strip as everyone except the disorganised op has them in the house right.
But he cared so little for her that he couldn't even be arsed to do that.

So in that case, knowing her period was due soon, she surely would have started to stock up on paracetamol?

The OP clearly states that while she usually gets pains about a week before her period they are not much of a bother, though noticeable enough.

She also clearly states that on this occasion the pains were far worse than the normal experience, more like labour pains.

I always get cramps before my period, I mean those odd sharp pains you get here and there. They last seconds, and are bit painful but manageable. I’ve never taken any painkillers for it

She had no indication that she might need otc pain relief this month, in other words.

As for why paracetamol? The vast majority of adults will have experience of using paracetamol, aspirin or ibuprofen for general pain relief. I am not sure why anyone is picking apart her choice of paracetamol, except to try to convince others that she couldn't possibly have been in real pain if she thought paracetamol would make a dent in it and was therefore just being a pain in the arse, crying wolf and disturbing her poor, put-upon husband..

I'd have said fine and arranged delivery via a specialty service (don't know if you have those, as I'm not in the UK). Either that or asked a nearby friend/family member if I had one. He doesn't have to help, but he can't stop you getting medical supplies. I'd do the same for the baby formula, and leave him to his injured feelings, if he had any. But then, I have zero patience for that kind of thing.