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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH is refusing to buy me medicine

551 replies

bloodyperiod1 · 01/01/2020 22:13

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate? Sad

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 02:33

Pallisers sounds fed up.

This thread makes me feel the same way.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:39

I’m used to care and consideration going both ways and would not consider calling my husband to help me relieve period pain mild enough to be relieved by paracetamol when I knew he was busy doing something else at the time. But then, as I said earlier, that’s just on the back of the information given by the OP. Clearly she thinks whatever he is doing with his friend is an unimportant and possibly regular occurrence that can be easily interrupted and he disagrees.

Ihavehadenoughalready · 02/01/2020 02:41

Another vote for Ibuprofen.

BlueRussianCat · 02/01/2020 02:42

Op he sounds selfish but also

My DH just drove a few miles to the nearest open shoo to ge some crisps and dip for me before we settled down for a movie. I thought I'd bought some but hadn't and was disappointed. I didn't even have to ask.

Like fuck would I do that Grin

BlueRussianCat · 02/01/2020 02:43

Clearly she thinks whatever he is doing with his friend is an unimportant and possibly regular occurrence that can be easily interrupted and he disagrees.

Maybe it is unimportant and he is just selfish and cba?

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:47

Maybe it is unimportant, but maybe it is also selfish to phone him and ask him to go out of his way to buy you paracetamol immediately.

BlueRussianCat · 02/01/2020 02:51

Tbf, all my nan would have to say is she forgot to buy painkillers and is in pain silly her or what not, and her husband would be going to get them instantly without her asking for them, obvs if it's a regular occursnce and just disorganisation it's annoying. But this is seemingly a one time thing. Why make your OH suffer with pain you could remedy in less than 10 mins just cos you want to punish them for forgetting it themselves? Seems spiteful.

Obviously ideally OP would have them but she forgot so...

Option A) He ignores her and stays at mates. He has good time and she is in pain.
Option B) He gets the tablets. Drops off. Then goes back to his mates. He still enjoys himself. She isn't in pain. Win win.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 02:53

It's a little odd to me that some poster's minds go straight to the fact that this could be a regular occurrence.

Nothing in the OP's post suggests this. Why the need to portray some henpecked husband?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 02:56

Walkaround she wasn't sitting in Boots pharmacy demanding he brought her a chocolate cake.

She was at home with their sleeping children asking him to go to a shop 10 minutes away before it closes because she couldn't.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 02:57

Who says she would normally have paracetamol but forgot? On the face of it, insisting you need paracetamol immediately is unreasonable. Nobody needs paracetamol immediately. I suspect there is more going on here - like her feeling her dh should not be over at his friend’s at all.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 03:00

Glendasugarbean - the OP clearly states she always gets bad cramps before her period is due and also that her period is due next week. This is a regular occurrence by anyone’s standards.

LilBuddyElf · 02/01/2020 03:02

Needy Blush

Hospitalknickers · 02/01/2020 03:03

Yes pallisers it is OK to expect your loving DH to care. But why does the OPs period pain trump her DHs evening visiting a friend? If her DH on the other hand posted that he was in pain and "DW refused to buy me medicine" surely he would be told to suck it up and get over it, or told he is a controlling arsehole for expecting his loving wife to drop what she was doing and run to the shop for him. For goodness sake women have had periods and period pain since the dawn of time! So OP instead of complaining, get off MN cuddle up with a hot water bottle and go to the shops yourself in the morning!

sobeyondthehills · 02/01/2020 03:06

Who says she would normally have paracetamol but forgot?

Right here in the OP she says

I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep

I get fucking awful cramps and I have a ton of pain killers plus a hot water bottle available.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 03:08

She was in pain, couldn't sleep and knew paracetamol would stop it.

I think she knows her own body.

Could you really have a good time at a friend's house knowing your husband was sleepless, in pain at home with your children even though you could help him easily?

You would think "Serves him right for not stocking up" and carry on?

BlueRussianCat · 02/01/2020 03:12

but why does the OPs period pain trump her DHs evening visiting a friend? how does her asking him to do this mean her pain trumps his time with his mate? He can do both surely, they are close by! I'd hate being out enjoying myself knowing OH was on pain and couldn't sleep, I can't imagine being that selfish and just carry on having a good time because it's not you in pain so it's fine.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 03:13

Sobeyondthehills - in other words, no mention whatsoever about her normally having paracetamol available at home, despite the obvious regular need. So, maybe she didn’t forget at all, maybe she just doesn’t plan ahead, despite the regular nature of the problem.

BlueRussianCat · 02/01/2020 03:13

You would think "Serves him right for not stocking up" and carry on?
.
There are a lot of spiteful, resentful, obstinate people around to be married to, I guess!

TiggerOfThigh · 02/01/2020 03:18

Just to say, paracetamol really hit my dad for 6, put him to sleep. Whereas I’d get more from smarties...All depends on tolerance

DH is a bit of a dick for not taking 10 minutes to make sure OP isn’t in pain. She isn’t asking him to stay and mop her brow, just pop her some painkillers that she can’t get out for

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 03:19

If my dh rang me and asked me to get him paracetamol, then yes I would get it for him, but if I did that to my dh, I would think I was being selfish and taking the piss in all honesty. But then neither of us just drops round casually to mates’ houses of an evening, so to interrupt a rare occasion when one of us had specifically organised an evening out to spend time with a friend would be pretty damn selfish.

Hospitalknickers · 02/01/2020 03:22

BlueRussianCat not at all, if my DH asked me to then I would do whatever he needed. But I would be in the same boat as OP, it's much more likely that my DH would be out with friends and I would be home with the DC. I personally don't take paracetamol or pain killers in general. But I can assure that certainly would not be asking nor harassing my DH to 'pop to the shop' for anything, whilst he was out with or visiting friends.

CountryF · 02/01/2020 03:36

Why don't you plan ahead and have a bottle on hand? Take a hot bath and go to bed? I couldn't even imagine bugging my DH to leave his night out to go get me medicine for my period that is coming in 1 week lol!!! Just chop off his balls right now and get it over with ffs.

sobeyondthehills · 02/01/2020 03:40

@Walkaround Are you serious?

If you are in so much pain you can't sleep then you will make sure you have a stock up, maybe her husband is a selfish prick, but also maybe he is pissed off at her not bothering to deal with it.

I understand the whole woman work argument but when it comes to your own body, you sort it. I don't sort out my partners skin problems, just like I don't expect him to drop everything to buy me pain killers because I couldn't be arsed in three weeks.

For the record if my partner goes to the shop and I need tampons or pain killers he buys it. I dont wait till the last minute when he is out to demand he goes gets me some

Creepster · 02/01/2020 04:03

There are a lot of people on this thread showing us exactly who they are. I confess that it saddens me.

Hanab · 02/01/2020 04:09

Gobsmacked by the responses on this thread!

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