DH is refusing to buy me medicine

[bloodyperiod1]

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate?

Yanbu.

I live alone. When my endo was at it's worst I had some ibuprofen in the kitchen cupboard, the bathroom cabinet, my bedside cabinet (with a bottle of water as it always seemed worse in the middle of the night), my drawer at work, my work bag etc. I bought the cheapest ones I could find and stashed them everywhere, maybe stock up the next time you're out OP?

It's been 2 1/2 years since surgery and I'm still finding them in random old handbags.

I would go for ibuprofen over paracetamol for the cramps OP unless there's a reason you can't take it.

In the mean time, I would take the adult dose of calpol to subside the pain a little and get a hot water bottle. I used to get horrendous cramps before I had my DS. Like on the floor with my head down kind of pain and in that state, DH would always go and get me painkillers if we had run out. Some times you get caught short and don't always have them, especially in the winter when everyone is using all the medicine available for colds and you're so busy that it slips your mind to stock up in time for the dreaded event.

Please also go and see your GP and ask about contraceptives that help with bad and painful cramps. Having my DS helped calmed things down for me but when the cramps started to sneak back in a bit, I went on the depo (which has it's own shitty wide effects) but it does stop the cramps as it's stopped my periods!

Side not wide obviously!

Sorry but I think you could have been a bit better organised and have a stock pain relief in, especially if you know this happens every month.
Also, you mentioned DC, have you got no calpol in? I've used that before for earache when I've had no paracetamol for me in the house.

If my OH was in pain and I was at a friend's, I would go and get them some painkillers, because I love them and don't want them to be in pain..... it's that simple
I could always go back to my friend's house afterwards

The more I read about people’s husbands on Mumsnet, the more I realise I’m married to what amounts to a saint. Why are all these women with all of these terrible men?!

I sympathise with your pain however, there is a touch of drama about this as well.
You have titled your post DH refusing to buy you 'medicine'. He's not refusing to buy you medicine, is he? It's over the counter paracetamol - not life-saving insulin or anything.
Is this about you wanting your DH to leave the friends house and come back home, than about the painkillers? Do you resent him being at his friend's house while you are left at home with the kids?

I used to have terrible cramps, since I was a teen. I thought this was normal female suffering sort of stuff...having wised up in my 30's I went to the GP, and continued going back until I was referred to a gynecologist. I was prescribed strong pain killers which helped, but they also identified a lot of metabolic and structural problems with my plumbing. After an operation, cramps vanished and not going to seek help earlier is a big regret. Please go to your GP and insist on a consultant referral. No one should suffer like this, and especially with a young family at home. It must make you very tired, and there may be some fixable explanation. Take your OH to any hospital appointments so he can understand that it is not a trivial matter. He should be more sympathetic and concerned for your well-being. Perhaps a doctor can explain that to him!

I agree with ahenderson

Paracetamol is one of those things you always have on hand. It's pretty basic and not a matter of being supremely organised.

@scubadive 😂😂😂

@ahenderson270 - I agree with everything you've said and don't know why people are jumping on you. You seem nice.

I have endo - it's horrific. I often buy paracetamol because I'm not able to take ibuprofen or aspirin or codeine or anything good really (asthmatic, breastfeeding etc). Then my DH has a "bad headache" or a cold for a couple of days and alternates every drug he can find in the cabinet and then lo and behold, my beloved paracetamol is all gone and I don't know until I go to take some. So maybe it's not as simple as "she should have had some in".

In all honesty though, my husband and I love each other enough that if one of us was in pain and the other one could do something to help, they would. I would take a 30-minute trip to the 24 hour Tesco at 3am if I thought it would bring my husband some relief. He would do the same. I would hate to be married to someone who wanted me to suffer physical pain to punish me for being disorganised, like some pps seem to think op should be...

YABU - keep drugs in stock, in this case ibuprofen definitely better.

@Seaweed42
I agree. It's quite a dramatic title.

I clicked the post because BIL was once stalling to buy medication for Dsis....but he was at home and she was running a fever.

I popped in by chance and told him she was in a bad way and he needed to go and get it now.

That was an emergency and BIL was being lazy and foolish.

This situation is different.

@BeanTownNancy thank you 😊 honestly I don't know why anyone is jumping on anyone to be honest especially over things they've either misread or simply made up based on.. their own imagination from what I can gather haha!

I too have endometriosis and my cramps come and go all month long, never predictable and usually would destroying !!

My ex (separated nearly 8 years) would never, ever dream of leaving me me without any pain relief .. so to think a husband is doing so is a little harsh .. especially considering the OP clearly stated she doesn't want him to leave the party and come home, she just didn't want him to miss the 11pm closing time of the shop - she was happy to wait till he was ready to pop home or if he'd drop it off, for him to head back out lol!

I agree with one of the previous posters.

The more I read about people’s husbands on Mumsnet, the more I realise I’m married to what amounts to a saint. Why are all these women with all of these terrible men?!

Seriously! I thought he was just normal. In answer to the last question it is because, for whatever reason, they don't think marriages/partnerships should be kind or nuturing or supportive but slightly combative/tallying score etc.

If I was 10 minutes away from a friend at a mates and she called me asking if I could drop in paracetemol in these circs before the shop closed, I'd go out, get the tablets, drop them to her and go back to my mate's. I wouldn't want to think of my friend in pain when 20 mins out of my evening could solve the problem. So why then wouldn't you do it for the person you are supposed to like and love most in the world?

I don't feel grateful for my husband but I do feel grateful for my mum and dad for having us grow up in a home where they were kind to each other.

Does anyone remember when Mumsnet rallied to get some much-needed medicine to a posters friend in the middle of the night?

That was a bunch of strangers ffs. People really need to expect more from their husbands.

I agree. It's quite a dramatic title.

what is dramatic about it? She needs medicine for her pain and her dh has refused to get it.

Can you only use the term "medicine" about prescribed stuff? Pain doesn't matter does it?

More excuses for rubbish 'partners'/spouses, twats you live with.

Sorry @Disquieted1, that's just wrong.

That was an emergency and BIL was being lazy and foolish.This situation is different.

You are right. her husband is being lazy and foolish but luckily for OP it isn't exactly an emergency.

how low can standards be for a man?

do you have any calpol fo the children. use that. will do for now.

I'd never ask this as it is an unreasonable request considering its a regular thing, however having said that, he should do it for you. I understand him moaning about it though.