To be unable to come to terms with how ugly I am?

[NotNowNoreen]

I'm in my 5th decade. I'm ugly. Truly. I go through phases of trying with nice clothes etc, and I do feel a bit better.. But ultimately I'm eventually confronted with how fundamentally physically horrible I am. And I can't change that. But I still can't come to terms with it either.

Does anyone else feel the same?

Eh sorry, @emzey. I was grouchy and made the wrong assumptions! Time to get off my phone I think.

Yes I feel the same OP.

I am trying to be kinder to myself by remembering that I would never judge or criticise another person’s looks the way I judge and criticise your own. Why are we so horrible to and about ourselves? If you weren’t you, would you look at yourself and think “God, she’s so ugly!” I don’t think so. So don’t do it to yourself.

It's ok, we should all not make assumptions on a first post. You know nothing about me.
I'll live with it.

I’m ugly too - and not getting any better now I’m approaching 50! Really it’s just my face as I can have nice hair, have a reasonable figure for my age, like my boobs but the face shape I suppose is just not aesthetically pleasing.
Was bullied as a child but no-one says anything now cos I’m old 😆
I’m married and thankfully DCs are actually nice looking (esp DS he is handsome AF!) Neither of them have my unfortunate features which is what I really worried about.
I have good friends, get on well with people but I suppose I have a genuine smile which helps. I try not to think about the face too much tbh.

@emzey it is because I have confidence that I can say with no hesitation that I am ugly, it does not take away from my other wonderful qualities.

I'm plug ugly- fat, bad skin, crooked yellow teeth, thinning frizzy hair, starting to bald, facial disfigurement, and I'm an average at best achiever acadamecally and career wise; I love looking at beauty in other places-nature, architecture, arts, and in other people, I also judge people who are attractive more favourably, which I hate about myself.

I'm sometimes bitter and sometimes envious, and always have doubts that any expressed fondness or appreciation from other is from pity - I'm in by 6th decade, its been lifelong, I'm kind of resigned to it now, but still dream of waking up different.

It is hard, and people who havent experienced it and who say its what is on the inside that matters just sound patronising, not comforting, to me, sorry.

I know how you feel. I was model pretty when I was younger, though of course I never thought so at the time. But I’ve been seriously ill and in constant severe pain for the last 20 years and frankly, it’s really taken it’s toll. Now I’m ugly, but the problem is my mother was a model and in her seventies she still looks amazing- people comment on it all the time. I find it pretty tough tbh.

I was model pretty when I was younger, though of course I never thought so at the time. But I’ve been very seriously ill and in constant severe pain for the last 20 years and frankly, it’s really taken it’s toll. Now I’m ugly, but the problem is my mother was a model and in her seventies she still looks amazing- people comment on it all the time. I find it pretty tough tbh.

Zombie

Sorry what?

I have a lopsided face, one eye that's a bit bigger than the other.

This is me, but with rosacea too. I see it as a quirk and have never thought of myself as ugly.

Thread from 2020

I see, sorry- I’m new here 😬

Everyone has one eye a bit bigger than the other in reality .. have a look at holly willoughby face .. she is stunning but one eye is much higher than the other !!

I bet you aren't ugly , I've never seen someone actually ugly , just people who make no effort ..

Very few people wake uk beautiful .. I want to be attractive so make an effort every day ..
It makes me happy to feel like I look nice .

I’ve got a bald patch and a belly like Ronnie Barker in his dotage.

Don’t care. I was so ill 10 years ago I finally realised what my body was for - keeping me in it. I’m rather fond of it.

So are other people. I’m not convinced beautiful people end up better off either - they certainly don’t end up beautiful.

I hate that Roald Dahl quote because it's utter nonsense. I know plenty of lovely people who remain ugly and unpleasant people who remain physically attractive and play on it.
Wishful thinking, pure and simple. Real life is different.

Same, plain as a pikestaff! It's crap isn't it?

I believe you probably are ugly. There I've said it. I feel it would be minimising your feelings (and intelligence) to say otherwise...however, I genuinely believe someone would have to be literally putrid, rotting, deformed etc for most people to feel disgust or repultion.
Let's say we have a scale of 1 to 10 from hideous to stunning, most people are 4 to 7s. I bet you're a 3 or 4. Are you hurting because you think others find you unattractive or because you do? I'm guessing that's hard to know. I think you probably do get treated less favourably by men on the whole but also from strangers in general but what about those who know you?
Unless you have some sort of medical condition lm guessing your parents or siblings are below average too. Have you ever had a real conversation with them about how they negotiate life. I'll admit, I think I'd find it very hard to handle, and battle to make myself more 'attractive'. I do that now simply because I don't like aging! But you can't be good at everything and lm sure you have some other qualities that you're 'above average', it's just difficult when it's the first going people see.....and judge...you by.