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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider this wedding dress

155 replies

FL59 · 01/01/2020 13:37

...for a relaxed country wedding? I somehow fell in love with this dress. It is completely different to what I initially wanted. We are older, already have kids, so I wanted our wedding to be a small family affair and was planning on a very plain and understated dress (which is very me, I like to blend in the background). But I just love this one and can't stop thinking about it. I have tried it on and it looked amazing. Would it clash with our setting do you think? (A rustic farm in the middle of nowhere)

To consider this wedding dress
OP posts:
WatchingTheMoon · 01/01/2020 14:07

The first one, definitely.

It's lovely.

MumW · 01/01/2020 14:08

Another vote for the first one you posted. I think it's slightly more sophosticated.

ThePurpleGirl · 01/01/2020 14:08

I don't think I've ever commented on a "dress thread" before, but the first dress you posted is so beautiful and perfect for a country wedding that I had to post on this thread Crown Smile

pointythings · 01/01/2020 14:12

I think they're both lovely, but the second one has a more summery countryside feel. Go with your heart.

Apileofballyhoo · 01/01/2020 14:14

First one. Go for it.

forgivemeimnew · 01/01/2020 14:15

The first dress is beautiful, I’d go with that one.
Just think about after the wedding and if you’ll regret not wearing it, that can sometimes help.

JosefKeller · 01/01/2020 14:15

Oh gosh, it's your wedding day, go for with your instinct, chose the one you a) can afford b)love!

Unless you get married on a beach or a ski slope and you need to have a fairly practical garment for the occasion, wear what you love.

They are both absolutely fine, I prefer the 1st BUT you need to wear a dress to decide. It's your day, go for it.

Foreverblowingbubbles1 · 01/01/2020 14:15

Beautiful dress, congratulations on your wedding day x

Foreverblowingbubbles1 · 01/01/2020 14:17

Sorry meant to add, I prefer the first dress too x

Original poster
FL59 · 01/01/2020 14:19

This is so helpful thank you. Part of my hesitation is also that I picked the first dress with my family, but went to see this one on my own. I feel like they would be disappointed they weren't there when I found my dress, or even that they let me down by letting me go ahead with a dress I wouldn't end up wearing. Story of my life, getting so anxious about other people's feelings...
In summary I think the first dress I posted makes my heart sing more, but I think my family would prefer the other one, I also love the fact that it is a safe choice and would work with the venue/theme, and it will be easier to plan flowers etc that match as it is ivory, and also it is cheaper - (feel bad wasting the deposit money).
It's a heart versus head situation! I'll take the advice of a PP and try to imagine both scenarios and see which I am most disappointed with.

OP posts:
BabyMoonPie · 01/01/2020 14:20

If money isn't an issue buy the dress that you love. Try them both on again if you can and then decide. You don't want to look at your wedding photos and have regrets (or have regrets when getting dressed on the big day and it spoil your enjoyment)

ohprettybaby · 01/01/2020 14:22

Number one is a lovely dress and not exactly 'in yer face'. I think it is beautifully elegant in an understated way. If it looks amazing on you then it is obviously meant to be.

Purplecatshopaholic · 01/01/2020 14:25

The first one you posted is defo ‘it’ - just stunning. Have a fab wedding x

Rhubarbisevil · 01/01/2020 14:25

The first dress looks more floaty and will therefore be more flexible and comfortable for the country wedding. The second dress looks more formal and stiff - probably better suited to a town hotel.

Go with your heart!

Ninkanink · 01/01/2020 14:25

The one you’ve seen and want to buy instead of the original is much, much nicer and is perfect for a country wedding.

Definitely go for it! It’s your wedding, it’s your dress, you’re the one who should absolutely love it, and you really don’t need to worry about others when picking the dress that makes your heart sing.

IlonaRN · 01/01/2020 14:26

It is beautiful!

Rhubarbisevil · 01/01/2020 14:27

Just seen your update OP - it’s your marriage, your wedding, your dress. Wear your dress!

fligglepige · 01/01/2020 14:28

It's your wedding day, the one day in your life it's about you and what you want. So get the first one.

mencken · 01/01/2020 14:28

both pretty - not acres of seamy ugly frumpy lace, dresses for an adult woman.

both look white in the photos and probably will in your photos too. So just a matter of which you prefer in real life.

enjoy!

ohprettybaby · 01/01/2020 14:29

In summary I think the first dress I posted makes my heart sing more, but I think my family would prefer the other one,
Buy the one that makes your heart sing more. It's your day and, hopefully, you will only get married once. If your family knew how you felt about it I am pretty sure they would want you to be happy rather than pander to them. Go with your heart.

Insofaras · 01/01/2020 14:31

Number one dress is gorgeous. Definitely prefer it to the second one (sorry!).

Tryalittletenderness · 01/01/2020 14:32

The dress in the first pic you posted is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/01/2020 14:32

I prefer the first dress in your op as well. Go with your heart.

bellabasset · 01/01/2020 14:33

You're wearing it so go for what you prefer, both are lovely but I prefer the first one.

PullingMySocksUp · 01/01/2020 14:34

I don’t think anyone will think they don’t match the venue. Smile
Just go with what you prefer.