To think this is offensive and makes me sad?

[SuffraJenny]

A "friend" (male) has just shared a meme on Facebook.
AIBU to say something to him? If so, what?
I'm a significantly overweight woman. I find it demeaning and must surely now assume he thinks stuff like this about me.

Yep, it's offensive and fat shaming. If the woman in the photo created the meme herself, it wouldn't be as bad but making a joke at someone else's expense is not cool, it's bullying behaviour. I don't know what you would say to your friend though.

Perfectly fine for you not to find it funny but don’t be one of those people trying to regulate what everyone else finds funny too

It's not funny and it is inappropriate but, trying to look on the positive side, do you think he sent that to you thinking you'd find it funny because - as he sees it - you're not overweight?

I'm fat and I hate the term 'fat shaming'. The fact is most people do think like that guy about us fatties, and sorry it's not going to change. Either we just deal with it, laugh it off, or even better do something about it for our sake.

I’m overweight. I don’t think it’s funny, but neither am I offended by it.

It’s pretty accurate, that stool must be really strong.

I find it funny, but not because the woman is overweight. It would be just as funny to me if an average weight or skinny person was perched on a stool much tinier than them. The joke isn't her weight.

I'll admit my immediate reaction was to laugh as it is funny, but then I am slim.

If you are sensitive about your weight perhaps do something about it, otherwise toughen up.

There are some quite remarkable attempts on this thread to make it seem as if the woman’s weight is irrelevant to a visual ‘joke’ that relies entirely on her being very overweight.

Absolutely, those posters — it would be just as hilarious if she had an ass the size of a chihuahua.

Yes, taking surreptitious photographs of unaware women minding their own business in public and using them to make casually fat-shaming memes is hilarious.

This.

It’s funny.
And you do not need consent to take a photo in a public place.

The dog does look a little concerned.

Really couldn't get offended by this, you find it funny or you don't.

Only if you are the size of the woman on the stool then it would be offensive if someone sent this to you .

I am significantly overweight and I laughed

It is funny

Yes, I imagine that a great many idiotic people will find this funny...people, eh?

by sent I mean a dm not just a genral share

Sorry it's upset you, but obesity is becoming a massive issue. It affects health so much and surely is part of the issue of the NHS crisis? I work in a supermarket and every day the queue at the pharmacy counter id 80% very overweight people.
I've never had to deal with a weight problem, food is not my personal weapon of self-destruction and I understand that over-eating is often a psychological issue rooted in trauma. But unlike other addictions and destructive behaviours, I don't get that some people seem to think it's a matter of personal choice and that they should be respected for it? Whatever my judgement is, I would not fat shame any individual, but I don't think sharing this meme is targeting OP though.

Well, it made me chuckle.

It's the kind of throw-away fat shaming which people just laugh at , share, and then say " Oh but I didn't mean anything by it "

I think "but I didn't mean anything by it" is one of the worst excuses I have ever come across. It implies that the person who is offended is overreacting while demonstrating that the offender really doesn't give a shit.

An appropriate apology would be along the lines of "I'm sorry, you've got a point there. I just didn't see it that way, which was crass of me. I'll try and be more thoughtful in future."

I saw it on fb and it made me cross too.

I think it’s funny. Grow up and stop getting so upset about stuff. If you’re not happy about it, just ignore it

Get a sense of humor. It's funny.

My weight has fluctuated significantly over the years and when it's at the upper end of the scale beyond what I am comfortable with I just take myself and my oversized ass to the gym. If I experienced the sight of a meme like this as personally offensive that'd be a gym-time alarm bell to me.

Yes OP you are being unreasonable. We don't have the right to use our personal insecurities as a reason to police other peoples sense of humour or any other form of expression. My best advice to you is to take a lesson out of your own internal overreaction. It's the perfect day to do it too, being January 1st and all!

Yes OP you are being unreasonable. We don't have the right to use our personal insecurities as a reason to police other peoples sense of humour or any other form of expression

Completely agree. If I reported everything on Facebook that I found to be in somewhat bad taste I'd never leave the house.

Only if you are the size of the woman on the stool then it would be offensive if someone sent this to you

What tosh. Applying this principle would mean that sexism is only offensive when directed at women, racism when directed at BME people etc.

On that basis, is it cool to take the piss out of people with learning difficulties as long as we're not directly doing it to people with learning disabilities?

No, didn't think so.

This has obviously resonated with you. In the nicest way possible, do you not think that this could be the kick up the arse you need to make some positive changes?
Listen, you don’t have to change for anyone but if it’s pushing you to police other people’s social media and sense of humour, your weight is clearly an issue for your self-esteem so why not turn it into a catalyst for improvement?