£100 for xmas dinner

[disneydatknee]

We went to sis inlayws for xmas dinner this year and shes charging £100 per family. No alcohol was provided, we had to bring our own. Pud was brought by another family member. All her veg was free from a local charity for food waste. So she only paid for meat which I ate about half a palmful of beef of. My family consists of 2 adults and 2 children that ate fuck all. Aibu to say I'm not fucking paying it? No back story or drip feed. This is it!

@IsabelleSE19

I agree people are missing the point. For most it’s not about charging it’s about contributing.

It’s a very expensive day, I could never arrive to someone’s house on Christmas Day without contributing. In our family it isn’t Money, it’s courses. Someone does started, someone does desert, someone brings the turkey, we all bring alcohol.

No one is left with a huge bill (we have expensive tastes and can’t cook😊) and everyone feels part of the day.

People on here stubbornly refuse to see different families do it differently.

The point of the thread isn’t that op was asked to contribute, it’s that the amount doubled to an unreasonable amount for no apparent reason.

I'm in two minds....

1, you agreed to the £100 (unless said after your appearance) so pay up.

2, £50 minus no booze, I'd say £30 was plenty.

Due to our health, this year we didn't drink any booze... Well I had one double Bailey's with double toffee vodka.... Bloody lovely.

Dinner itself had change out of £15 for the 2 of us, and left overs did a couple more meals. This consisted of a preprepped chicken breast, goose fat roasties, sausage meat stuffing, pigs in blankets, bought turkey gravy, and all from MnS.

The 1ltr bottle of Bailey's was £12, the toffee vodka (from MnS) £14, so 1 decent glass with both, prob £1 (£1.50 but I doubt it)

So all in £16 for the 2 of us.... So £8 each

I saw huge 🦃 in MnS for £80/£90 and that would have fed the street and by the time used up, everyone would be fed up of 🦃 .... Nope, not middle class or rich, but if just 2 of you, why buy a big bird neither of us particularly like, instead bought prepared small joints for 4 different main meals, including Angus beef, pork loin, medium sized smoked gammon joint, with the salt n.pepper basted chicken joint and all four.cost less than £20, so only a £5 a meal for the meat.

There is no way on god's planet except going to a posh restaurant, would you have forked out £100 for Christmas day dinner for 2 adults n 2 kids, excluding drinks, and puds. In a restaurant it might have been approx £100, but that would be eating out, with a free glass bubbly and 4 courses at least.

Everyone knows, the more you cater for, the cheaper per head the price is.

Wow! Imagine charging family for Xmas Dinner!! I'm gobsmacked! I did Xmas day dinner for 12/13 adults for 4 years (we were the only ones with young kids so everyone came here) and never charged any of them a penny! Wouldn't dream of it! It probably cost me around 200 for all food and drinks but I knew that at the time and chose to buy the nice food anyway!

We ate out this year and it cost us £100 for 2 adults and 2 kids, granted it was just a brewers fayre type place but still!!

I hosted NYD for 15. Spent £65 on meat, some of which I have left, £25 on veg, maybe £20 on other bits and pieces for starters/sauces/cream etc. Guests provided own booze and puds. And a bottle of wine, a bottle of prosecco,naice chocs for me and did the washing up. They weren't all family either, 6 guests were friends.

I'd pay whatever it was you originally agreed then if she asks for more say no because for £100 I could feed 15ish and have a slap up meal. We had 5 different veg, 3 meats, all the trimmings plus starters for £100.

@IsabelleSE19

Your approach sounds fine. You had people for 3 days.

The original women sounds mercenary and grabby

She obviously couldn’t afford to host it, she got her veg for Xmas from food waste.....she has overspent elsewhere and trying to cover it by charging everyone! I would give her £50 and tell her you can’t afford anymore as that is all you budgeted for given that was the original cost she stated.

If my family invited me for Christmas and said it would cost me £50 per family I'd decline to go. Turkey £15 will feed us 5. Veg in aldi is less than a quid so under 20 quid to do a full roast dinner. Even a pudding be less than a fiver. They're having a bubble.

I have read several posts this year about family charging each other for christmas dinner, i find it sickening that people would even consider this. there is no way in hell i would charge my family to come to my house to eat, even if i was on my last tin of beans.
I just dont understand how people seem to be like this these days, its only in the past year or two i have even seen this mentioned. just who the actual flipperty would charge family members for a meal at their home?

Invite them to yours this year and charge £100 per head and give them fuck all

People charging family for Christmas dinner is so fucking out of order !

i couldnt afford to hose.my family knows this.they know the guilt and shame i have for this too.and would never put that on me.i will cook,clean and do all i can when im there.do touches that show how i love and appreciate them.
but if they couldnt afford it either i would happily go and have beans on toast with them.and they know this also.

I was charged £60 for Christmas lunch by my sister. Afterwards I discovered that no one else had been asked for money. That included two friends and four other family members.

For other reasons I have been no contact with her for over two years now. Life is much nicer without her.

You need a list of what was bought and provided at the dinner. Refuse to pay anything until you have info and can make a judgement on what would be a reasonable amount to pay. May include non food eg crackers, tableware, electricity. Next year cook your own.

If you went believing it was £50 inc booze, then you should pay £50 minus a reasonable deduction for the booze you didn’t have.....and NEVER do it again

This is awful OP!
I’d respond saying ‘I realise you’ve dropped the contribution to £10 from £50 because you didn’t provide the promised booze or have to pay for veg or pudding, but I’m sending £20, which I know will more than cover our small consumption but I appreciated you hosting this year’
Just don’t acknowledge the extra 0...

Are they really hard up? I've never heard of charging family before, but we'd always offer to take a course and would take lots of booze.

Who did the dishes?

I still think it’s a CF who not only charges guests but then doubles that amount. If however the guests are happy with the cost beforehand then fair enough!

We hosted this year and tbh it worked out well, there would have been food waste otherwise. No charge though.

To put it in perspective, last few years we’ve gone out for lunch, it cost £65 per head (reduced for dc) and that was without drinks but then that’s staff costs etc. I expect to pay to go ‘out out’ but paying a relative just wouldn’t feel right, I always take drinks if invited to a party but I’ve never been asked to pay.

We had 13 for lunch , DS provided the turkey , DM brought a massive glazed ham & Trifle Fil gave me money for starters & sausages and I got everything else
Feck right off with £100 per family ! CF indeed

You have respect her nerve at least! Since you did agree to the 50 pounds I'd probably pay that but never go to Christmas lunch (or any other family meal that she would charge you for) again.

I think you should let your DH deal with this as he wishes to and the fact that he isn't minded to put up with this nonsense is a very good sign OP! If she makes a fuss it's for him to deal with and he seems happy to do so. You can blithely carry on above the fray

*@IrisAtwood

You're better off NC.

I would ask her to justify the cost, ask for a breakdown. For the last three years my family have come to ours on Christmas day and we all split the Christmas shopping bill. This year, there were 7 adults and 1 child and our food shop came to around 25 each. That included alcohol and four course dinner. So 100 for everything you have said, is shocking! Something isnt adding up right.

I feel a meanie saying my family come to ours and we all split the cost! Reason for this is, my husband and I bought a house a few years ago with plenty of room and a separate dining area. Various family members were thinking about paying £50+ each and going out for christmas dinner. They didnt want to pay the high cost and asked if everyone could come to ours instead. I said yes but everyone would chip in as I'm only 26 and if everyone was willing to pay 50+ each and go out then Why should i pay to feed everyone and be the worst one off?

B X

What a cf!

I'd send £50 and when questioned about the rest id play dumb!. "Oh sorry I didn't realise, do we not have to send anything to other family for the pudding they brought?. Does that include the children as they really didn't eat much" or something a long those lines.

No way on earth it would cost £100 to feed 2 adults and 2 kiddos!, we had an extra few (adult) guests last minute and we had to buy a bigger turkey (£30) because I was worried we wouldn't have enough.

Livefornaps

Any update op?

what do you mean 'no back story or drip feed'? Je ne sais quoi.