To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

[allthewaythere]

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

selfish? Nah. But you could have said excuse me insteadof starting a thread about it🙄

Bun obviously. But thanks. Just report it as it will obviously cause a great deal of offence to some on here.

@olllsss 👏🏻 well said.

just one big bum fight

Ooh matron 🤣

Have you read the thread @olss? It has been explained why the op couldn't just say excuse me.

@eaglejulesk you sound ridiculous and very sad. People walk around in groups everywhere, constantly. It's called having friends and family to go places with and, you know, talk to rather than having to yell over your shoulder constantly. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry at the idea of you forcing everyone to walk in single file at all times just in case someone more important wants to get past. It's like an episode of Blackadder where they're in grovelling mode or something

Well, ‘it has been explained’ that the OP couldn’t say excuse me because there was a crowd. Why OP couldn’t say excuse me to the crowd or why nobody else in said crowd tried to say excuse me to the people at the head of it and why the OP isn’t annoyed at their fairly useless passiveness... all this remains a mystery.

I'm with you! I'm saying that as a parent to a small child. The pavement hogging, stopping for a chat, oblivious people make me so cross.
They lack self awareness and basic manners. The other day I waited with my daughter for two to walk down a narrow and very long pavement and they just breezed past without a thank you or even a nod. Yeah I've got all fucking day to stand here waiting for you agh!

Ruffle crow it's called being polite. I also make my kids walk single file. It takes a few untill we get past then walk as a group again. Your mocking just comes across as distasteful.

There's this very weird subsection of mumsnet whereby if you're a parent and you're not constantly monitoring yourself and doing your utmost to almost disappear in public you're "inconveniencing people". It's almost identical to the patriarchal ideal of women not taking up space. But that must be purely coincidental surely? Nobody would come on to MN purely to make women feel guilty and shit just for being in the world as proudly as men are, and doing their jobs as parents unapologetically, would they? And the people that are telling mothers they need to make themselves and their kids as small and 'convenient' as possible when they're out in public are mothers themselves. - We know that's 100% true because they said so.

That's not what's being proposed @mummybundle or whatever your daft "i'm definitely a mum look at my soppy username" name is.

The single file solution is being proposed as a pre-emptive measure just in case someone might want to get past at some point in the future. Do keep up.

P.S. OP you sound like a well-meaning good, no brilliant, parent by the way you talk, it's obvious you feel passionately about this. Try not to get wound up about slow-walkers, toddlers or elderly, or anyone is between. The truth of it really is that most people are very wrapped up in that lives (and I mean that in no derogatory way) so much that they're oblivious to life around them, they might even be naturally spatially unaware. Perhaps in that moment of them enjoying their life, you were perhaps under a dark cloud or not feeling great. The holidays raise certain levels of stress and positivity in varying quantities in people... another reason perhaps why these slow-walkers irritated you. YANBU. There are some naturally selfish people in this world too and their reason is generally their children - no one else's comes first. Not even the lady walking behind them who desperately wants to get by and get on with her children's lives, who undoubtedly come first.
Anyone without troll tendencies can see that you weren't hating on the toddler learning to walk... in that moment you just felt cross that the parents didn't take note of their surroundings. Nothing more.
Try to enjoy life luvvie.

If there's anyone walking a snail's pace in front of me and i'm with my 2 rather boisterous crazies under 5, I just sing cheerfully and loudly, 'excuse us, mind yourselves, thank you so much and have a great day.' I choose my moment carefully, like never doing it to clearly stressed out parents. My eldest kid now knows this off by heart and resorts to it when we're amongst crowds - a useful tactic as she's SPD and borderline ADHD, she doesn't like crowds and noise. Although I have taught her not to do it to elderly folk or ladies with prams or smaller children than herself, and she's pretty good.
Most people do excuse us and let us pass.
Some people have sneered and pulled faces at us, nothing worse. Yet. There are some people who don't move - now that is selfish. That's when my eldest loses it and screams high-pitched and bursts into tears which is indication of meltdown mode.

I did ask you to excuse us 🙄

There are some very useful words you can use in this situation: excuse me, can I get past you?

@RuffleCrow - to be fair I live in a much less populated country, and I believe our footpaths are probably wider than yours in places. Obviously I do walk with others on paths in the suburbs, but in the middle of town I look to see how many others are about, and if there are others I don't walk right across the footpath with my friends, and neither do a lot of people. It's called simple courtesy. Thank goodness I'm not likely to run into you and your friends taking up an entire footpath and feeling entitled to do so!

My mum is elderly and walks quite slowly. If I'm aware someone is walking closely behind us I just move momentarily in front or behind her so they can get past. What's the big deal? Why are some people on here indignantly trumpeting on about their rights, the baby's rights etc. Just be aware of what's going on around you and try and be considerate.

Some people do like to make heavy weather out of everything.

Misscromwell Unfortunately some people are so fixated on their own rights they forget the rest of the population exists. It's sad but true.

@ Misscromwellrocks - I’m sure you don’t stand (hand in hips) and beam at all in sundry, commenting loudly ‘Isn’t she great?’ ‘She’s 876 months you know’ ‘aren’t they great at that age?’ (and refuse to let anyone pass). Or maybe you should...

(I so would if my mum was around - she would have loved that).

He then left said child to come after me and physically push me in front of my own 10yo child.

What a nutter. Not the same as the situation here.

@twobundles I agree with your post below, but it clearly applies to both sides here - both the couple with toddler and the impatience/intolerance of the OP. Both need to think more of others, but everyone has a right to exist. Just like older people have the right to walk slowly, teenagers like to walk and talk to their mates etc.

A little ridiculous to assume everyone with a baby is selfish. I do think maybe they shouldn’t obstruct a pathway but fgs magical moment for them! Probably lasted all of two mins. Wonder if your the same with learner drivers?
Maybe have a little compassion, I find most people when my little girl was tiny would try to shove me out of the way. If your that busy that something like this would bother you, maybe look at your own life.

Nobody's is assuming that everyone with a baby is selfish.

The OP said 'a lot of' based on one example of being held up on the pavement for 30 seconds.

Me: Excuse me? Excuse me please? (Smile) May I/We get through? Thank you.(smile)

I use smiles to help me get through my days.

Sometimes, in public, we are inconvenienced. Use your manners, use your patience, if it is an emergency, explain hastily but politely, "Excuse me, I am sorry, I must get through, I have to meet my daughter/I have an appointment/My foot is bleeding. Thank you."

Dawdlers: MOVE. You do not own the pathway. You are in public and while it is miraculous that your dc can walk/talk/smile, it is not an important milestone to anyone else except your mother.

Good manner are the grease that keeps society civil.

This does not always work. I politely asked to get something from a shelf at Christmas. The wife was polite and I quickly pulled my pkg from the shelf (I had waited, they were discussing at great length their purchase choice. I saw what I needed. No choice, quick grab and gone).

Her husband thought that I should have waited. He told me that my manners were poor. I told him that I did not care and quickly left. HE quickly left when my very large, very stern looking dh came around the corner to find me.

Don't be a bully or rude. Don't take out your frustrations on others. Do not decide to "teach a lesson" bc you think they are rude. You never know what is going on and sometimes people have private reasons for dawdling in pathways or needing to hurry by.

Just try to give people the benefit of the doubt. It won't hurt you to be kind. Unless it does; don't step into oncoming traffic to accommodate a pushy rude person with a hot coffee and bad attitude.