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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

608 replies

allthewaythere · 31/12/2019 10:07

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

OP posts:
Inliverpool1 · 31/12/2019 10:10

I just say excuse me loudly and make them move. One twat does it going through the school gates every. Bloody. Day.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 31/12/2019 10:10

YABU. We were all tiny once.

Scrapbookqueen1 · 31/12/2019 10:11

That’s weird, I’ve noticed it the other way. Doors slammed on you while you’re pushing a pram, people from all walks of life parking in baby spaces and being nudged out of the way in shops because now that you’re holding a baby you are less threatening so easier to challenge

beautifulstranger101 · 31/12/2019 10:12

Yes, its selfish.
But I'm not sure why you think parents of young kids in particular are selfish. The most selfish behaviour I personally have experienced out in public has been from the elderly. But that doesnt mean I think All elderly people are selfish.
Ive had elderly people push in front of me in queues when it very clearly wasnt their turn, an elderly lady (complete stranger) once lectured me in the supermarket when I was pregnant about breastfeeding- telling me I had to do it otherwise I was a crap mum. I had never met this woman before in my life! Ive had elderly neighbours park over my drive, then get huffy when I dared ask them to move because I couldn't get my car out. Ive had elderly men walking their dogs stop me whilst out jogging to make lecherous comments about my body or make suggestive comments etc
However, I dont believe all elderly people are like this.

Original poster
allthewaythere · 31/12/2019 10:13

Blimey beautiful that’s one hell of a list

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 31/12/2019 10:13

I agree, they suffer from PFB and we are the only people to have a babeeee ever, had a run in with one of these twats over a parking space, all she could bleat was ‘but I have a baby’ 🙄

MatildaTheCat · 31/12/2019 10:13

YANBU in as much as yes, parents do become exceedingly focused on their very young children.

However it does have the bonus of keeping the species going. Smile

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2019 10:13

What did you expect them to do?

Thescrewinthetuna · 31/12/2019 10:13

I think most people are selfish tbh, I don’t think them having small children matters

beautifulstranger101 · 31/12/2019 10:14

Blimey beautiful that’s one hell of a list

I know right?! But I still dont think this is representative of all people over 65. You get selfish people in every generation

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 31/12/2019 10:15

I think you're being a little harsh. The child has to learn to walk at some point. If you were in a hurry for something important you could have politely asked them to let you past if it wasn't safe to step into the road. I say this as someone who's never had children so I am not defending my own actions here!

MissCharleyP · 31/12/2019 10:15

It’s not just parents. I used to run and one route took me along a canal bank with a path that was wide enough for either two abreast or two passing in opposite directions. People who were walking two abreast would never stand aside or walk one behind the other while I ran past. Same with a wider than usual pavement; could easily have accommodated 5 adults but everyone walked bang in the middle of it. I run on a treadmill now in the garage.

Original poster
allthewaythere · 31/12/2019 10:16

Have the baby in his pushchair or carried by one of them until they were out of the narrow street, purple

I hate it when people walk three / four abreast in any case but here the problem was the baby was obviously walking very slowly which meant everyone behind them was forced to walk at that pace, or step into the road with cars and cycles.

OP posts:
Boom45 · 31/12/2019 10:17

People taking up the whole pavement and moving slowly really isn't confined to parents of small children. Couples holding hands and chatting, elderly people, groups of teens. Loads of types of people move slowly in groups - especially if you live in a tourist-y place. It's just one of those things rather than selfishness surely?

Original poster
allthewaythere · 31/12/2019 10:18

It isn’t boom that is true.

It is selfish though.

OP posts:
orangejuicer · 31/12/2019 10:18

YANBU but I find supermarket aisles are worse.

Why oh why do people take their entire family shopping and then proceed to stop and chat every other aisle thereby making it impossible to get past with, yes, my young DS?

thejollyroger · 31/12/2019 10:18

Some people are just like this.

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 31/12/2019 10:19

People walking three or four abreast taking up the width of the pavement just for the fun of it are annoying - but that's not the same situation as people walking either side of a small child who is only just learning to walk (or either side of anyone who is infirm and needs support).

sarahjconnor · 31/12/2019 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2019 10:22

Have the baby in his pushchair or carried by one of them until they were out of the narrow street

That seems quite a selfish demand from you there.

NoSauce · 31/12/2019 10:23

They were probably just PFB parents enjoying their child taking their first steps. Oblivious to others.

Devereux1 · 31/12/2019 10:30

I think everyone has become more selfish and rude, to be honest, but I do see what you mean too.

This Christmas period has been full of crowds for me, fairs, shopping, events etc. It has really struck me how many parents of young children think the 40 or so people behind them have nothing better to do than walk at an excrutiating pace whilst little Tommy toddles along/stops and Mummy/Daddy decide to have a conversation on the friggin narrow and packed path.

I've also noticed parents talking VERY loudly to their toddlers in public spaces/ladies toilets. What is all this selfishness about?

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2019 10:31

@allthewaythere

Haven’t experienced it so much with walking but what grinds my gears is when a fond mamma or pappa encourages wee chubby fingers to input their passnumber at the hole-in-wall - usually when you’ve already been standing some time in a queue.

Or you’re waiting to get off the train but no! Little Lavender or Freddie just has to be the one to press the door button. And it takes them an age to do it.

Ye Gods! Grin

eveshopper · 31/12/2019 10:31

YABU to make a connection between selfish people and having a young child. This couple were no doubt selfish and thoughtless before their DC was born and will be long after they grow.

Lordfrontpaw · 31/12/2019 10:33

I passed a dad with his little girl (about 4) on a path in the park. She was on her bike (this park has strict bike paths). She was waiting the roll down a hill and was complaining ‘can I go now dadeeeeeeeee?’. He straightens up and says very loudly (not to her) ‘well, no these people are all waking so slowly!’

So everyone else was expected to step aside into the mud so that his child could freewheel down a path where bikes are not supposed to be?

I also find small children on scooters a menace! More often than not the adult with them does NOT say ‘watch out for that lady/child/dog...’