Has anyone else experienced that thing where someone is overbearing and interfering in an 'oh so helpful way' and then weirdly becomes over entitled because of it?

[OhioOhioOhio]

Wtf is it?

I have recently had a situation where someone helped me with childcare.

They think they were phenomenal. I think they were equally good and an absolute interfering pain in the backside.

But because they did all sorts of 'extras' that were actually really intrusive and uncalled for it somehow permitted them to be more entitled to an opinion, or something like that.

It's so immature and bizarre. I can't quite get my head around it.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Over the years of every other week visits to my mum she managed to shrink every wool sweater I owned by washing them for me whether they needed it or not. I eventually learned not to take any school clothes with me on a visit to her.
Laundry issues? You bet I have laundry issues.

@hazeyjane Yep, so manipulative. But I think healthy people see through the show usually, and also recognize they wouldn’t want a person “helping” them in this way.

My standard response to anyone bringing up the helper shark’s complaints about my lack of gratitude would be to smile and say “Well, I’m sure she means well.” And nothing more.

Really helpful thread for psychological analysis and clarification.

Should have added Thankyou, folks.

My mum always cleans up around my house whenever she comes over, but she doesn't make a big thing about it and she's not doing it to be manipulative. I do think she genuinely has good intentions and it's just something she does, she's a naturally tidy person. She does the same at my brother's place. And I'm disabled so I appreciate it. Tbf when I visit my parents, I help with the dishes etc.

I worked with someone like this once. If she wanted to be friends with someone she would offer to do everything for them, be incredibly helpful, have their kids, clean for people, offer help for work based functions - which all sounds lovely on the surface but she was actually a horrendously controlling bully.

If you weren’t liked by her, her “angel” status meant that people would let her get away with being downright vile. Nobody wanted to be the one to stand up to her especially if she had “done them a favour” or refused to believe it could be true as she was just too lovely - but everything was for her own benefit, nothing was done out of the goodness of her own heart.

I can’t stand people like this. Especially the types who feel the need to splash it all over social media. A “rescuer” is absolutely the right term! Aka bellend 😂

Dunno how many of you have read Malory Towers, but in one of the books there was a character like this who was always insisting on helping people, whether they wanted it or not, and the other girls got fed up with her and took the piss out of her for it. Called her St Catherine.

I am coming to the end of working with someone like this. We are both leaving.

I feel like she's leaving in part because I accidentally exposed who she really was after she turned on me full force over a misunderstanding of her own and she needs to move on in order to reconstruct and reestablish the lie that she's a nice person.

She's moving on to work with children which will suit her need to be needed amply I think, poor little fuckers.