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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My boyfriend's obsession with Frida Kahlo

145 replies

anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:34

New account. Want advice. Do not know if this is right place to post. but I think it is because I am wondering if I am being unreasonable.

To start, I am a 23 year old expecting mum. I have a little boy too he is 2 {smile}
I think my boyfriend is being strange. he is an 'artist'. aka he goes to art school and draws as a hobby. He is very into an artist named frida kahlo, who I think was from around the seventies. anyways he tells me a lot that I look like her {confused} dont know if I should take that as a compliment. seen a few photos.
anways my boyfriend goes on non stop about her. I suspect he may have aspurgers as my dad has it. With the obsession.
It has gotten to a point where he buys me flowery dresses and makes me wear them 'like frida'. Sounds fooking mad doesnt it Shock
well I thought the same.
I am not even Mexican, I am arabic!!!!
Anyways,
would I be unreasonable to ask him. or even break up with him as this 'art hobby' is getting out of hand. used to be a lovely man but I think frida is taking over his life.

OP posts:
Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:36

we live in Australia. so sorry if this is bad timing. I think this is a English website.

OP posts:
Howdidido · 30/12/2019 23:40

Do you have the eyebrows?

Irrelevant but yes I would say anyone who makes you dress up like someone else is a red flag for me

Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:41

how did I do,
I used to pluck them.
now boyfriend says I should grow them out Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:42

he got a bit upset. when I told him I wasn't interested in being like her. I want to make him happy.

OP posts:
Waitinginthewings · 30/12/2019 23:44

Frida Kahlo was an incredible artist. I am a huge fan. But your boyfriends behaviour does sound odd, bordering on obsessional. How does he react if you say you dont want to dress as Frida and that you dont think you do look like her?

Branleuse · 30/12/2019 23:45

Do you go along with it? Has this obsession been over the whole relationship?
Have you told him that this is really pissing you off now

Branleuse · 30/12/2019 23:46

Frida is iconic. Theres loads of frida stuff at the moment. Maybe if its an aspie interest it might pass?

Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:46

waiting in the wings,
I have told him around three times. he got upset, and went upstairs.
left me to cry downstairs.
I think it is an obsession. and that he cannot help it. apart from this he is my soul-mate but now this all he is.
frida frida frida
thats it.

OP posts:
Yascumbagyamaggot · 30/12/2019 23:46

Don't let him change you, but on the other hand try not to worry too much unless this is an all consuming obsession. For context, I made my DH grow a goatee once and push his hair forward to look like George Michael - just my little phase!

Cheeseboardcriminal · 30/12/2019 23:47

Well it is very strange to try and dress your other half up as someone else. Can you keep asking him to try and look like Tom Hardy?

Does he want you to paint on a little mustache and beard?

Yascumbagyamaggot · 30/12/2019 23:48

Just seen your update after I posted. This does sound OTT.

WatcherintheRye · 30/12/2019 23:48

Frida Kahlo died in 1954, so definitely not a 70s artist!
Does your boyfriend resemble Diego Rivera, by any chance?

Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:49

branleuse it has been going on for around two months now. I went along with it at first. thought it was a joke. now I realise that , why would it be a joke? he's making me dress up like her.

the whole relationship is almost definitly being affected. because I am expected to wear the clothing daily. he wont shout but he will seem sad if I dont do it. it is a strange obsession in my eyes.

OP posts:
FeigningHorror · 30/12/2019 23:49

You’re thinking of breaking up with the father of your two children because he would like you to grow a Frida Kahlo monobrow?

ForkThis · 30/12/2019 23:49

It does sound a bit like an ASD obsession.

I would just repeat over and over “please stop trying to dress me up, it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t like it”.

FeigningHorror · 30/12/2019 23:50

No one can make you dress any way you don’t want to, OP.

coffeeoclock · 30/12/2019 23:50

Oh dear, she's quite masculine looking isn't she, it's not quite a compliment either.

To be honest though it sounds like you're not that into him if you're willing to break up over this?

JesusMaryAndJosepheen · 30/12/2019 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:51

watcher in the rye,
I searched him up. no.
he is skinny and way taller than me. (I am 5 foot two, he is 6 foot .)
Chheseboard, he probably wants me to grow one Sad
good idea. but I think he would be sad? because im not taking it seriously and he wants me to.
very Ott

OP posts:
Oldstyle · 30/12/2019 23:51

Kahlo has become a bit of a fashion icon of late - she's on cushions, mugs and tote bags - and her eyebrows are apparently considered very stylish. Plus she was a superb artist and an interesting & determined woman at a time when it wasn't easy for women to assert themselves. So it's a compliment I suppose but I'd hate it if someone wanted to turn me into a dead icon. How would he feel if you wanted him to look like / dress like David Hockney I wonder (not that it's likely!). I'd tell him to accept you for yourself or to forget it. Hope he listens.

LolaDarkdestroyer · 30/12/2019 23:52

I just googled her and she looks like a bloke tbh....I would be worried

Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:53

I am learning a lot by this. feigning they dont see him often as I play with them as he does art upstairs in his room.
but I am very into him. I always have. I wish I still was.

OP posts:
Original poster
anewnetter · 30/12/2019 23:54

desperate to stay. desperate to leave. I dont want him to throw a tantrum if I say I dont want it anymore.

OP posts:
JesusMaryAndJosepheen · 30/12/2019 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse · 30/12/2019 23:56

I think you need to tell him, you didnt mind when it was every now and then, but hes ruined it by going on too much. Shes a great artist but you are not her and this is not fun anymore.
Im aspie. Youre not unreasonable and he is starting to be. Hes taking it too far. Reign it in