To barricade bedroom tonight?

[SulSul]

DFH has been in a silent mood with me for past two days. Won’t tell me what’s up. Tonight he served up popadoms on two plates. I pointed out that the last time I did that he had a go, started an argument and said they should all be on one plate to “share”. I asked why it was different this time. He said it was “no big deal” and he “wasn’t getting into an argument about it”. Well it was a fucking big deal last time ... he made sure of it.

Anyway. I let it go.

He then let’s the dogs out. Somehow he “stubs his toe” during. This enrages him. He then makes some snide comment when he gets back in about “oh well, I’ll let your dogs ravage Each other cos I can’t be arsed now”. After telling me nothing is wrong??? Well I’ve lost it well and truly. Have screamed “what the fuck are you getting at me for?? My fucking dogs??? I’m not your verbal fucking punch bag you absolute tosser.” He’s made a quick retreat and is now playing on his stupid fucking game (the one that is helping to destroy our marriage) by himself. I’m so fucking angry. Months of frustration has poored out of me and I want a divorce. In the meantime, AIBU to take “my fucking dogs” to bed with me and barricade him out of the fucking bedroom?

I have no opinion on this. But do think a divorce might be the way to go.

You both sound as bad as each other. I don't think you're well matched.

Don't start a tit for tat by barricading him out of rooms.

Really sounds as if neither of you are in the right mood for reconciliation tonight so if he has somewhere else to sleep (not the kitchen floor) maybe it's best for you to beat a retreat, plus dogs, to your bedroom. Next morning you have some talking to do, and if he won't talk and discuss, then yes, you really do have to consider if you can stay together. It sounds awful if the atmosphere you describe is your frequent experience and you are both sounding both provocative and hurt. Sorry, I know it's horrible. Don't let him hurt the dogs or you.

If you're thinking that you want a divorce, get one.

Life is too short to be wasted feeling angry and shouting at one another.

Why did you have to start an argument about plates and poppadoms?

Barricading sounds like it might just inflame the situation op. I'm sorry, that situation sounds so miserable.

I think that you might do well to get some distance from one another and calm down a bit. Anywhere you could go tonight or tomorrow to get away?

I can’t really say who is being unreasonable here (both, I think) but you need to split.

Honey, this is a bit of a toxic relationship. I think you should go for the divorce; you'll both be happier - maybe even friends again.

I’m not one for pandering to someone in a bad mood, but there is such a thing as not being a total dick! If my husband cooked me dinner I’d say thanks for dinner, not ‘why have you put the poppadoms on two plates!’

It’s emotional abuse. Yes it’s only popadoms but he started a HUGE argument last time about the way I arranged the popadoms (exactly the way he’s arranged them this time) and when I say huge, we were literally looking up divorce.

He’s been telling me for days that nothing is wrong yet clearly there fucking is so why not just say? Why all the passive aggressive hints and clues. I’ve had enough. He can go and play on his stupid fucking shitty game (that he’s put before our marriage for a year now) and good luck to the fucker. I’m done. I’m nobodies fucking punch bag. I’ve had enough.

Have you got kids in the house? If so, the two of you need to stop, now. If not, why don't you take a night to sleep on things and reassess in the morning. You are distressed and arguing over how many plates you used for poppudoms. Let that sink in. Life is too short for this shit.

I think you should have split at the first argument about poppadoms.

All sounds very dramatic.

Life is too short to be unhappy. Start of a new decade could be a really good fresh start for you, without him?

Yep get divorced.

He didn’t cook them. He ordered them. Exactly the same situation as when I ordered them ... and put them on two plates ... and he wanted to divorce me over it. I’m not playing these fucking games.

So split up then. You are both as bad as each other. I have barely spoken to my husband today, not because I have fell out with him but because I have things on my mind.

If he started screaming at me like you have I would have chucked him out. Emotional abuse can work two ways.

If he's obsessed with a console game, that's no way to live in a partnership, whether it's Fortnite or Call of Duty or whatever.

You sound as bad as him.

I’m with OP here. She’s previously been bollocked about the presentation of bloody popadoms, so when the husband does it in the same way, and this after days of giving her the silent treatment, I’m not surprised she couldn’t hold her tongue.

You both sound like you have a terrible relationship and bear grudges.

There is so much more ... more back ground ... but I can’t go into it all. Basically, I’ve flipped, well and truly. No children in the house. He got rid of those earlier in the year.

If he started screaming at me like you have I would have chucked him out. Emotional abuse can work two ways.

Exactly! It’s not only men who can be abusive.

If you’re unhappy in your relationship, end it. But don’t start flinging emotional abuse accusations around over an argument about poppadoms

So why are you together if you’re so unhappy? Are you just afraid of being single hence why you settled for him?

he got rid of those earlier in the year WTF?