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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cyprus is no longer a safe place for (young, single) women to holiday?

725 replies

Kraai · 30/12/2019 11:57

The teen went back to her ONS's room for consensual sex. When there, 11 of his mates burst in and filmed while three of them then raped her. She went to the police and reported it. They were detained. They said it was consensual and was "with love" (I kid you not!). She was interviewed at length with no legal representation and the police decided she was lying. She was then charged with the crime of making up a crime and has been unable to come home since the summer. The guys were all allowed to return to Israel where some of them have since said things indicating she wasn't lying at all and I'm pretty sure the video was shared (from memory, which may be wrong). She's had psychological evaluation saying she's suffering badly from PTSD.

It's worth noting that the Cyprus is a very popular destination for young Israelis to let off steam before they start national service and there's a strong political tie between the two.

So, AIBU to say that Cyprus is no longer a safe destination for young woman? If the worst happens to you and you report it and the police think you're not a credible witness, YOU will end up in jail. Knowing how traumatic reporting something like a stolen wallet in a foreign police station can be, the idea that a woman would be interviewed without legal representation in a state of severe distress, however that manifests, and then not believed and charged means that men have been given free rein to rape in Cyprus. Especially if it's in a potential "grey zone".

https://www.bbc.com/news/videoandd_audio/headlines/50944483/cyprus-rape-claim-case-it-s-a-very-worrying-conviction

OP posts:
PanicAndRun · 03/01/2020 23:01

Oh fuck me it can be worse ...much much worse.
Full websites and blogs and posts naming her, calling her a Paedophile, a stripper,a predator, an instigator . Not to mention the comments.

Nope no hate there. Nothing to see people. I wish I hadn't either.

PanicAndRun · 03/01/2020 23:04

Oh and much ranting about feminism,corruption and more feminism. The law is controlled by feminists, therapist can only be registered if they adhere to feminist agenda , the UK (and western world )is under feminist control and so on.... and how amazing and moral and upstanding Cyprus is for standing against the feminist attacks.

Italiangreyhound · 03/01/2020 23:31

Yet anther reason not to go to Cyprus, madness.

Whizbang · 04/01/2020 11:08

My thoughts are with the young girl who has been treated so appallingly.

I am voting with my feet. I’ve visited Cyprus twice before but never again will they benefit from my tourist income. My niece was also planning a post A Level trip there with her friends. Not happening now, or ever in fact. Who in their right mind would allow their female friends and family to visit Cyprus ever again? It is simply not safe.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 14:06

Well you will be able to do your research while there, but i am not sure that Cyprus will give out correct information about who is going there.

I wasn't intending to ask the Cypriot Government for official figures. I should be able to get a feel for visitor numbers based on previous visits. Ayia Napa itself may be a problem though. I have been there once before and have no plans to return. It's not really my cup of tea.

Italiangreyhound · 04/01/2020 15:42

PhoneLock just curious but are you not worried about being a victim of crime and then winding up on the wrong side of the law? I know it sounds alarmist but at this current time it feels unsafe.

Are you female or going with any females?

I've travelled to many places deemed potentially unsafe and actually felt quite safe there. So I am not usually a 'don't go there' kind of person!

My comment about the government was not that you would ask them directly. I meant if numbers are down I think they will not talk about it publicity or admit it.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 15:56

PhoneLock just curious but are you not worried about being a victim of crime and then winding up on the wrong side of the law? I know it sounds alarmist but at this current time it feels unsafe.

In a word, no. I am highly unlikely, as a married woman accompanied by her husband, to find myself on the wrong side of the law in similar circumstances to the subject of this thread.

In any case, given the publicity this case has received, at this current time, it is probably less likely to happen than at any other time.

Fraggling · 04/01/2020 17:08

Married women get raped as well Fgs

It's not some magical shield of protection Hmm
Would be pretty cool if it was, all girls in the world could enter pretend marriage from young and rape would be eliminated!

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:28

Married women get raped as well Fgs

What do you think my chances are?

Then compare them to my being killed or seriously injured in a road accident, for example. Which is higher?

Fraggling · 04/01/2020 17:30

What?

Life doesn't work along strict statistical lines at an individual level! Don't be silly. You could be raped tomorrow, or never. I hope the latter.

You're one of these 'magical thinkers' who need to victim blame in order to believe that it will 'never happen to me as I don't do xyz' aren't you.

OrangeSlices998 · 04/01/2020 17:33

@PhoneLock You’re exceptionally naive if you think being married offers you some protection against something like rape.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:35

I was waiting for the victim blaming to rear it's ugly head. I have been very careful not to victim blame.

Note that I didn't say it could never happen to me. Obviously, it could. But the chances of it happening are minimal.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:39

@PhoneLock You’re exceptionally naive if you think being married offers you some protection against something like rape

So, at the risk of being accused of victim blaming again, does being married and accompanied by my husband make me more or less likely to be raped than the subject of the thread?

Be honest now.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:39

Raped in Cyprus, I should add.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:42

And does being accompanied by my husband, pretty much 24/7 while in Cyprus reduce that risk even further?

Fraggling · 04/01/2020 17:44

He accompanies you everywhere???

Well each to their own, I'd find that quite stifling I think.

Like the woman I remember on here who said she had NEVER in her whole life walked anywhere after dark on her own. Including in winter Grin

I think the message is that if only this girl was nicely married then this wouldn't have happened to her. They would likely have chosen another victim though, so the I'm alright Jack approach isn't helpful at a general level.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:45

Would you find it stifling in Cyprus?

Fraggling · 04/01/2020 17:47

Oh cross posts.

Women in couples do get attacked as well. Sure it's rarer. Usually seems to be during robberies.

Out of interest what is the probability that the man you are seeing unexpectedly invites all this mates in and they rape you.

Not really terribly common is it, yet girls are apparently supposed to take this into account when going out with new fellas.

It was a planned crime and a gross betrayal of her trust. Idea that all women should approach life as if this is likely is a terrible way to live, and what a view of men to have to have. And they say feminists are the manhaters.

FrogsFrogs · 04/01/2020 17:50

Well yes never being in the hotel on my own etc

I like a bit of time to myself tbh.

FrogsFrogs · 04/01/2020 17:50

Of course not wanting to be chaperoned 24/7 probably means I'm asking to be raped, which is what this seems to be boiling down to.

FrogsFrogs · 04/01/2020 17:51

Sorry namechanged there

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 17:52

think the message is that if only this girl was nicely married then this wouldn't have happened to her.

The risk would have been significantly reduced. Don't you agree?

They would likely have chosen another victim though, so the I'm alright Jack approach isn't helpful at a general level.

Pure supposition.

General level? Oh, sorry! I thought you were worried about my safety during my forthcoming trip to Cyprus.

FrogsFrogs · 04/01/2020 18:00

So you really do think that if women and girls want to reduce the risk of rape then they should be chaperoned at all times...

Clearly the ones who aren't are fair game though.

If you're so into probabilities I'd say that this gang of men would certainly have chosen another target, that's what rapists do. Your idea of 'get them to rape someone else' helps you but does not do anything to help the actual problem ie men raping, and with impunity.

In other news, isn't it great that in Saudi Arabia where women have to be chaperoned, sex crime against women and girls in non existent! Erm... Oh yes they like to lock up women who've been raped too. let's all follow that template it's awesome.

The idea that girls and women must be chaperoned by men or they are fair game is kind of, I don't know. Well it's interesting but I don't think there will be much appetite for it in society.

FrogsFrogs · 04/01/2020 18:01

It wasn't me who said they were concerned for your safety, another poster maybe.

PhoneLock · 04/01/2020 18:07

So you really do think that if women and girls want to reduce the risk of rape then they should be chaperoned at all times...

No I don't. I really don't.. and that is not what I said.

However, I do think the the fact that I will be with my husband pretty much 24/7 while in Cyprus makes the risk of me being raped extremely low.

The fact that you wouldn't like to accompanied to the same extent while on holiday is totally irrelevant. You are not me.