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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpected use of holiday home

445 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:17

Not quite Mexican House Thief - at least not yet! - but I'm trying no to get dragged into this and would welcome anyone's advice

Friend A has a holiday home in Florida and was persuaded to offer it to son of Friend B for a free fortnight's holiday with his girlfriend
Friend B's son (23) invited a load of mates to go instead, claiming his GF couldn't make it, but didn't tell A about this
Friend A - who's only just discovered this - has said no to the mates, some of whom are very dubious (a couple have convictions for affray)
Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

As C I'm close to all of them, and though I'm trying to stay out of it I'm getting my ear thoroughly bent by everyone, expecting me to take sides. FWIW I believe B's son has been pretty deceitful over this and shouldn't expect to dictate who stays at someone else's home, but would be interested in the MN verdict

YABU = since flights are now paid for they should be allowed to go
YANBU = A should say no because she wasn't told those going had changed

OP posts:
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6
HulksPurplePanties · 29/12/2019 11:18

YANBU. Friend A is completely in the right to tell them to sod off.

GreyhoundzRool · 29/12/2019 11:19

Of course they shouldn’t be allowed to go - sneaky and underhand by the son of friend B

pinkyredrose · 29/12/2019 11:19

It can only end in tears. Def no. Why free anyway, why wouldn't he expect to pay? If she does get persuaded/mithered to change her mind she could say yes but only with an upfront deposit of £2,000.

Lifecanonlygetbetter · 29/12/2019 11:20

Son has been deceitful, I would not be allowing him and a group of young males to stay unless I know them all well and was happy with this. He and his mates should pay for alternative accommodation if flights are arranged.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 29/12/2019 11:20

They can find alternative accommodation. I would never have entertained even the first proposal

BrieAndChilli · 29/12/2019 11:21

It’s quite common for holiday rentals to say no to groups/groups of a single sex etc. It’s their house and they are fully entitled to say who stays there - especially as giving it for free!!
Could the alternative be to charge them a ridiculously high fee? Even a damage fee of £1000 each or something to cover any damages/extra cleaning etc that might put them off

Singlebutmarried · 29/12/2019 11:21

Will those with a conviction even be granted entry to the US?

Also friend with the house is in the right. The son is a cheeky fecker

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 29/12/2019 11:22

YANBU. A house party with a load of mates is a completely different proposition to a fortnight with a girlfriend.

They will need to sort out alternative accommodation, or write off the flight money.

BaronessBomburst · 29/12/2019 11:22

Friend B and son were taking the piss already to not even offer to cover the bills. It will actually cost Friend A to let people stay there. Electric, water, pool cleaning etc. They are CFs of the highest order.

finn1020 · 29/12/2019 11:23

Friend Bs son probably had that in mind all along. Does his mum tend to enable him as I’d be a bit suspicious of her motives too if she had to “persuade“ the house to be loaned to her son in the first place.

katewhinesalot · 29/12/2019 11:23

No, it was loaned to a bloke and his girlfriend with no expectation of parties and wild behaviour.
No way woukd I loan a house to a bunch of young people and that's without the "affray" element.

Berthatydfil · 29/12/2019 11:23

Possibly at £500 per person and a £500 per person deposit for damage and cleaning.

Of course they would be welcome to find somewhere cheaper.

OneForMeToo · 29/12/2019 11:24

Nope. They can go else where. Cheeky shits.

kenandbarbie · 29/12/2019 11:25

Yanbu definitely wouldn't let them go. They can find alternate accommodation.

CakeandCustard28 · 29/12/2019 11:25

No she’s right. They will have to find else where. They can’t just demand use of her holiday home when they’ve lied to her.

Christmasnamechange19 · 29/12/2019 11:26

B and son of B should find some alternative accommodation in Florida if flights are already paid for. I suspect he'd always planned to take his friends but thought he stood a better chance of being given the house if he said it was his girlfriend going.

The fact that he didn't tell A shows that he knows full well that he wouldn't have been allowed bthe use of the house.

A is in the right to refuse to allow them to use it. It might be the end of that friendship, but it's no great loss is it?

PhonicTheHedgehog · 29/12/2019 11:27

I’d say that using the fact the air tickets are bought as leverage amounts to emotional blackmail. No way would any of them be using the house.

Hedgehogparty · 29/12/2019 11:27

Son has already lied about who he invited.
He sounds dishonest and untrustworthy.
I wouldn’t let him anywhere near the house

Stompythedinosaur · 29/12/2019 11:28

YANBU if they loose money then it's their own fault for trying to be so sneaky!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 29/12/2019 11:28

She definitely should not allow them to use it!

Out of interest, how big is the house and how many are intending on going?

HoneysuckIejasmine · 29/12/2019 11:29

A good point about criminal convictions and US travel.

I'd also ask for an outrageously high damage deposit, or say no altogether.

Cohle · 29/12/2019 11:29

Is their own fault for buying tickets without having been upfront with the owner. They don't get to use their own deceitful behaviour to emotionally blackmail someone.

PurpleFlower1983 · 29/12/2019 11:30

Friend A is right. If flights are paid for they need to find a cheap motel. Friend B’s son’s mates also need to check their ESTAs as they might get refused entry.

Thehop · 29/12/2019 11:31

Absolutely no WAY would I let a group of lads turn my holiday home into a 2 week crash pad!

He’s been a bit of a weasel sneaking it on her and a total CF for convincing her to give him a freebie too!

MuchBetterNow · 29/12/2019 11:31

The ones with convictions won't get in without an ESTA anyway. He sounds like a total dick.