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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpected use of holiday home

445 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:17

Not quite Mexican House Thief - at least not yet! - but I'm trying no to get dragged into this and would welcome anyone's advice

Friend A has a holiday home in Florida and was persuaded to offer it to son of Friend B for a free fortnight's holiday with his girlfriend
Friend B's son (23) invited a load of mates to go instead, claiming his GF couldn't make it, but didn't tell A about this
Friend A - who's only just discovered this - has said no to the mates, some of whom are very dubious (a couple have convictions for affray)
Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

As C I'm close to all of them, and though I'm trying to stay out of it I'm getting my ear thoroughly bent by everyone, expecting me to take sides. FWIW I believe B's son has been pretty deceitful over this and shouldn't expect to dictate who stays at someone else's home, but would be interested in the MN verdict

YABU = since flights are now paid for they should be allowed to go
YANBU = A should say no because she wasn't told those going had changed

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Oilyoilyoilgob · 29/12/2019 12:03

I’d definitely be telling B that they’re a shower of cheeky bastards! I honestly wouldn’t care about a falling out, poor A must be wondering what’s going on feeling they have to defend themselves from that shit show 😱

chocolicious · 29/12/2019 12:03

No way should he be allowed to take his pals. He had been very deceptive . I doubt if his mates with convictions would be allowed into the USA anyway.The States are very strict on who they let in.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 29/12/2019 12:03

I wouldn't hesitate (if asked) to stand a post and say how ruse it was of your friends son to make assumptions and/or lie about who was going. I value my friends; if my DC lied to them I'd be mortified and call it out rather than defend their crappy behaviour.

Bluetrews25 · 29/12/2019 12:03

People like that rarely respect anything they get for free.
This has disaster written all over it.

billybagpuss · 29/12/2019 12:03

If he had ‘little spare money’ how is he going to afford park entry etc.

Sushiroller · 29/12/2019 12:03

He is a manipulative little turd I wouldn't be letting them set foot in the property.

You know once the place is trashed he'll be playing the victim and saying he doesn't know how any of it happened and isn't responsible.

BaolFan · 29/12/2019 12:04

Absolutely no chance. None whatsoever.

Butterymuffin · 29/12/2019 12:04

No way would I go along with making a holiday home available for a bunch of lads to drink themselves stupid in. Don't care what they've paid for.

TreeSwayer · 29/12/2019 12:05

They will all need an ESTA before they fly, it needs to be on the system before they show up at the airport.

You have to declare any criminal behaviour, the US doesn't want people convicted of affray. It doesn't matter what country it was in.

Florida is expensive but there are cheap motels they can stay in so they can still use their flights and they will need to have paid for ESTAs which they will have lied on. If you do not qualify for an ESTA then you need a Visa which is a 6 month wait and an interview about why you don't qualify for an ESTA.

Friend B is a shit, as is her son.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 29/12/2019 12:05

A large group of 20 something males in a villa, in florida..........What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, A finds her nice holiday home has been trashed and she has to foot the bill.

It'd be a big fat, "Fuck Off!!" from me.

Pinkyyy · 29/12/2019 12:05

Florida is far from cheap, even considering everything you've said. They've got 3 months to find somewhere else to stay. The fact that there's so much time makes it quite clear that the GF was never going. You need to support friend A and back her up so she isn't pressured into letting them go. If she can't put her foot down then you would be doing her an injustice by standing by and watching them force her into it.

MeetmeinParis · 29/12/2019 12:06

Nope, no way would I be agreeing to the group staying and I think the friend who "persuaded" her to let her son have the house for free regardless of whom it was with, was being a CF.

Sushiroller · 29/12/2019 12:06

Oh and I would definitely be taking sides.

Poor A...

Jeschara · 29/12/2019 12:06

I think it is now time to firmly say to B and her son they are wrong. You will find out if they are real friends then. Cant say I would be friends myself with B as she is a cheeky enabling deceitful person.
Poor Friend A. Make sure she sticks to her guns and does not hand over the keys. Band her son sound like a couple of Ponces.

JellyBellies · 29/12/2019 12:06

This is the first AIBU I have seen with a 100% decision! I think you have your answer.

transformandriseup · 29/12/2019 12:07

Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

Wow I can't believe B is supporting her son in this. He has been very cheeky.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 29/12/2019 12:07

100% . You have your answer Op, though I would have thought you could have worked this out yourself. Not sure how much of a friend you are to A.

Ihavenoidewhatsgoingon · 29/12/2019 12:07

I have a holiday home and would say no to this

scarecrowhead · 29/12/2019 12:08

Flights can be cancelled

HannaYeah · 29/12/2019 12:11

I think you’re a terrible friend for knowing all these details and hesitating to say “that’s just wrong”. Because it’s wrong, without a doubt and you know it.

I’d be distancing myself from you and cutting friend B out completely.

Jeschara · 29/12/2019 12:11

I also do not think OP is much if a friend to A. I think A would be better off without either of you. I

LL83 · 29/12/2019 12:11

I would probably tell friend B she is completely out of line for asking A and not telling DS no chance herself.

If I wanted to be diplomatic I would only disagree with B when she asks.

These are long standing friends you should be able to be honest if asked your opinion.

TonTonMacoute · 29/12/2019 12:12

Friend Bs son has shown himself to be untrustworthy right from the get-go. It would be a no from me!

YANBU

BlouseAndSkirt · 29/12/2019 12:13

Son of B is being outrageous.

Not just CF but dishonest and deceitful.

Having observed that A had to be ‘persuaded’ to allow this at all once (if) his Gf could not go he should have approached A, explained and asked if he could take one friend instead. And B’s Mum should have insisted.

If canvassed for my opinion by B I would be honest and say ‘tbh I think A has a fair point. One substitute friend would have been reasonable, a lads house party is not what they agreed to”

If I was B I would tell them to get fucked.

BlouseAndSkirt · 29/12/2019 12:13

I mean if I was A I would tell them to get fucked.