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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpected use of holiday home

445 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:17

Not quite Mexican House Thief - at least not yet! - but I'm trying no to get dragged into this and would welcome anyone's advice

Friend A has a holiday home in Florida and was persuaded to offer it to son of Friend B for a free fortnight's holiday with his girlfriend
Friend B's son (23) invited a load of mates to go instead, claiming his GF couldn't make it, but didn't tell A about this
Friend A - who's only just discovered this - has said no to the mates, some of whom are very dubious (a couple have convictions for affray)
Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

As C I'm close to all of them, and though I'm trying to stay out of it I'm getting my ear thoroughly bent by everyone, expecting me to take sides. FWIW I believe B's son has been pretty deceitful over this and shouldn't expect to dictate who stays at someone else's home, but would be interested in the MN verdict

YABU = since flights are now paid for they should be allowed to go
YANBU = A should say no because she wasn't told those going had changed

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
cstaff · 29/12/2019 11:44

I just hope that the keys haven't been handed over yet. Cheeky fuckers. Not a chance in hell.

katewhinesalot · 29/12/2019 11:45

I agree that I wouldn't feel stuck either. I'd be firmly on A's side.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 29/12/2019 11:45

I don't think you should be made to take sides, that's not fair at all. You could end up losing one of them.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 29/12/2019 11:46

CF to stay in someone else's holiday home without paying
CF to change who's staying without checking with the owner, especially so when it's being offered free. If they don't respect the owner enough to notify them of a change of plans, then they are hardly going to respect the property.
CF to then blame holiday home owner.

There must be loads of cheap motels in Florida to stay in. If they can afford flights/food/transport/entertainment, they can afford a share of a cheap motel.

I absolutely would not want a group of young people staying if I didn't know them personally.

Pinkyyy · 29/12/2019 11:46

If he's got no money then why is he going to Florida?! A should have never agreed to it in the first place, but I would 10000% say no. Especially as they have committed crimes whilst on holiday in the past. She would be insane to let them stay there.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 29/12/2019 11:46

If they've booked flights they will have to find somewhere else to stay. He's behaved very badly.

MadameButterface · 29/12/2019 11:47

There’s a reason why some places flatly refuse large all male groups staying there, friend b needs to understand this

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:47

He's being incredibly manipulative

Unfortunately there's quite a history of this, though ironically the girlfriend's lovely ... which is why A was comfortable with the idea of them just going as a couple

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 29/12/2019 11:47

Reasonable to refuse.

Cacklingmags · 29/12/2019 11:49

No.

  1. Son deceitful.
  2. Son manipulative (emotional blackmail).
To allow any group of young men to stay unsupervised in a holiday home is something hardly any owner or company will do, and I would say particularly not this lot who have shown us who they are already. She should tell them to go and fuck themselves.
Pinkyyy · 29/12/2019 11:49

Can you explain the relationship between you and A/B?

Rosehipbubbles · 29/12/2019 11:49

The us is expensive once you get there. Drinking in bars is pricey.

How will they get about. I'm imagining the villa is in a purpose built community so they will need a car or else taxi everywhere- again an expensive. Have they been to the us before- do they know it's not like going to a med resort.
And no way would a group of lads that I didn't know be staying for free in my treasured holiday house. No way ever.

MetalMidget · 29/12/2019 11:49

Fucking hell, family B sound like a right bunch of cheeky fuckers. They need to get in the sea.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/12/2019 11:50

B enabling her son is going to prove costly this time, isn’t it? Tough that he has no spare cash. No way should A allow the friends access. They will trash the place. She was bullied into agreeing in the first place.

katewhinesalot · 29/12/2019 11:51

You did seem reluctant to tell B how it is.

Whiskers14 · 29/12/2019 11:51

I think you should absolutely be taking sides. Tell B that friend A is quite within her rights to refuse them staying because it wasn't what she agreed to and it sounds like son B had it planned all along. Unless B wants to pay her a returnable £5000 deposit to offset any damage?

Miniloso · 29/12/2019 11:53

If they pay a large deposit upfront which is for any damage AND any nuisance to any neighbours or anyone else!!!

MoaningMinniee · 29/12/2019 11:55

I don't think I've ever seen a 100% yanbu vote with 424 votes cast before! I think you've got your opinion pretty clearly OP.

Jeschara · 29/12/2019 11:56

Friend B's son is manipulative. I would show friend B this thread, she needs home truths about her son, and she needs to stop enabling him.
I would ditch her as a friend if I thought she knew about his plan. Friend A should not let them go. Friend and son are cheeky and nasty.

Catsandchardonnay · 29/12/2019 11:56

Well done OP you’ve achieved the only 0% v 100% poll I’ve ever seen! I think that gives you your answer!

AgeShallNotWitherHer · 29/12/2019 11:57

Completely different proposition. DS + GF - 1 bedroom used, 1 set of sheets, probably eat out several times, 2 sets of towels, damage v unlikely.

5+ Blokes - 5 rooms and sets of sheets and towels, kitchen used for large messy meals/parties, girls brought back, likelihood of damage higher, much more electricty used, more cleaning time.

And the lies are unacceptable - and I would expect the DS to continue to use lies when he breaks/loses something.

Let them or the mother sort out alternative accommodation

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 12:00

ESTAs have to be applied for in advance
I know - I spend a lot of time in the US myself - but the visit's supposed to be in March and I'm not aware if they've applied yet

If he's got no money then why is he going to Florida?
For a cheap holiday in the sun (suspect his mum's paid for the flights) and it's not so very expensive if you buy booze at the store and just drink "at home"

Can you explain the relationship between you and A/B?
All 3 of us are friends of long standing

How will they get about
DS/GF were supposed to be hiring a car, though the house is in the midst of excellent facilities. Not sure if a shared hire car is still planned between the lads

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 29/12/2019 12:01

Agree with PP, why aren’t you more ardently supporting Friend A, there’s no confusion about right and wrong here. Bs son has been dishonest and lost the privilege of the house as a result.

Selmababies · 29/12/2019 12:02

No way Jose!
Not even with a large deposit!

FrancisCrawford · 29/12/2019 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.